“Did you take her home?” he yelled through the door.
That was loud enough for everyone to hear. I opened the door and grabbed his collar, yanking him off-balance. “I’m done talking about this, and so are you,” I snarled.
Shoving him back, I closed and locked the door once more.
“I knew there was something there. Way to go, brother.” His voice faded as if he was walking away, and I squeezed my eyes closed. If he didn’t lay off, I would choke him to death.
Behind my closed lids, her face took residence. Those blue eyes blinked, and her lips curved into a hesitant smile. You know, all my best memories are here with you. It’s strange coming back to find out that you hate me.
I still remember her telling me ten years ago that I couldn’t provide the life she wanted. I never thought she was the type of woman that would gut me with her words and walk away while I bled. I never thought she would quit on me until it happened. Yeah, I was in pain, but I didn’t hate her. I felt angry and betrayed, but I could never hate her because I loved her.
Nothing is working out as I expected. When I left, I thought I had all the answers.
Our conversation the day she tore my heart in two had been her telling me what she wanted in life. Were those the answers she’d thought she had that she was no longer sure of? Was she coyly trying to tell me she wanted another go at us? I rolled my eyes. That would never happen.
I’m not the same person I was when I left.
She was right about that. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what changed, but something about her had because she was different. Just as pretty, but wounded in some way. The light in her eyes had dimmed. Her confidence was gone. Kandra Sullivan had left an inferno and came back a puff of smoke. All the spark in her personality was gone, or was it merely waiting for the right moment to ignite?
Why had she asked me if I had a problem with Benji? Was she fishing to see if I was jealous, just like she’d done when she wanted me to say she was beautiful?
Someone pounded on the door, and I pulled it open, looking around for Quinn, but he was nowhere in sight. Ryan, a member of the crew, walked inside.
I walked out and thought about Kandra and our conversation some more.
When the calls stopped coming in, I didn’t mind because I thought I had Anthony.
Anthony ... the guy was a dick. A Harvey Weinstein of the modeling world who probably had a casting couch in every room of his office. He talked her out of taking photographs and instead being in them so he could control her career. He dumped her, and I was sure the jackass knew the hit to her self-esteem would send her running home. If he didn’t, then he never really knew Kandra.
Quinn’s arm slipped around my shoulders. “How did it go last night?”
I shrugged him off, but Ethan stepped up to my right, pinning me between them. “Still single? Are we able to go to the bar, or did you get us booted?”
“Did you kill anyone or smash any faces?” Bayden’s voice chimed in from behind, and when I swung around to face him, Miranda studied me with suspicion.
“He’s kidding.” I didn’t need the sheriff looking at me like I had something to hide. “Nobody got killed or maimed. It was all very civil.” I stepped onto the dirt, heading back to work, but my brothers stood still. “Don’t you have work to do?” I asked as I pivoted to face them.
Quinn shrugged. “Fifteen-minute break?”
“Aren’t you going to tell us what happened?” Ethan crossed his arms the way our dad did when he was waiting for an answer, and I wanted to deck him.
“She told me what happened since she left, and then she went back to work, and I went home.” It had all been so innocent, but I doubted my brothers would believe me. “I’m done talking about it, so stop asking.”
“He’s sensitive, which means something happened.” Quinn rubbed his hands together while his eyes sparkled with mischief.
“Nothing happened.” And nothing would happen because I had to be on guard with her. I realized something last night; despite her being gone all those years, nothing had changed; Kandra still had my heart. She managed to make me feel something, and it didn’t matter that those emotions were anger and betrayal.
All the pseudo-relationships I’d been in since her were so topical I’d never felt any loss or sadness when they ended. Maybe that was because I never let anyone in after her. Somehow, her coming back to Cross Creek made it feel like she never left. That hole in my heart was now plugged, even though the pain seeped through.
I sounded stupid and sappy and sentimental. Kandra coming back didn’t change anything that happened before. She had left me because I wasn’t enough, and it broke me.
“I was right, you’re still in love with her.” Quinn’s glee and my dark inner thoughts clashed.
“Did you forget what today is?” I grumbled, leaning in closer to him. Today was not a day for him to push me, to joke around, or to be so playful. It should be a somber day of silence and respect.
Quinn’s eyes narrowed, and his brows furrowed. “I know what today is.” His voice was razor-sharp.
“Do you? If so, then where’s your respect?”
“You know me better than that, and I don’t think Dad would want us to be sad and mopey.” Quinn’s quiet anger snapped in his voice.
I was tired of the fun and games on such a mournful day. My relationship with other ghosts of the past didn’t matter today. “Why do you always act like nothing happened?” I stepped closer to Quinn, who stood his ground and studied me calmly.
“You grieve your way, and I’ll grieve mine.” His even tone did nothing to calm the anger eating at the lining of my gut.
“Do you grieve, or is life all a joke to you?” I watched his pupils dilate. “You’re so focused on me and some woman that walked out of my life a decade ago instead of the fact that today is the second anniversary of our father’s death.”
Quinn’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Look, even if there was something between us—and there isn’t—today is not the day, okay?” I stepped around him and headed for my truck. My chest caved in like a wrecking ball had crashed into my sternum.
I sat in the cab, holding back the pain, when someone rapped on the glass. The sharp sound, like point-blank gunshots, invaded my skull.
I glanced out at Max, the mail carrier.
He motioned for me to roll down the window, and I did, because next to my father, he was the best man I knew, and the closest thing to a father figure I had left. “This is for you.” He dug an envelope out of his bag while running his other hand through his hair. It had stayed dark despite his age but was going salt and pepper at the temples. Unlike his hair, his close-clipped beard and goatee were mostly gray with a few black hairs.
“You’re delivering mail to my truck now? They better be bumping your pay grade.”
Max chuckled. “It’s actually from me to you. I know this is a difficult day.” His dark eyes met mine.
I inhaled and took the envelope he offered. Tapping it against the steering wheel, I considered whether or not to say something.
“I blew up at Quinn today. He’s just so … cavalier. Today is supposed to be a day of somber respect.” I trusted that whatever I told Max stayed with him, unlike Dottie, the diner owner, who would gossip her way to the pearly gates. Max was a good man.