She said something I couldn’t hear, and every bit of me tried to tune in to listen to her voice. Her fingertips brushed her cheekbone and shifted her hair back as she focused on Roy. Whatever he said had her nodding, and she gracefully tied her hair up with an elastic band she had wound around her wrist. Getting it up and out of her face only drew more attention to her beautiful features. She laughed at something Roy said, and the sweet lilting sound ribboned through me.
My heart stilled, then burst forth like it had been shocked with paddles—paddles covered in barbed wire that shredded me to bits.
What was Kandra doing here?
As I looked at my empty mug, I came face-to-face with the realization that she was the girl Roy mentioned.
“I know we are young, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life, Kandra.” I got down on one knee and looked up at her, “Will you marry me?” She had tears rolling down her face, and I thought I was about to be the happiest man in the world. Then she said, “Noah, I love you, but I can’t stay here in Cross Creek. I have dreams. I want to see the world, I want to be a photographer, and I can’t do that if I’m here.” Then, without so much as a second thought, she left, and I was there, kneeling like a chump and holding a ring I couldn’t return.
“Noah?” The tone and inflection told me it wasn’t the first time Quinn said my name.
“Yeah?” I locked down my emotions, hoping the shock didn’t show on my face, but it was too late. He tapped both Ethan and Bayden to get their attention.
All eyes on him, he nodded toward the bar. “Is that…” Quinn seemed at a loss for words.
I looked at her again, hating every second of my life for the current moment. This was an awful dream—a nightmare—a cruel trick played by the powers that be. There was no way this could be happening. I refused to give in or let my brothers see how she still affected me.
Kandra laughed, her straight white teeth just as bright and perfect as they were back then.
Roy showed her the taps, and she filled a glass but didn’t tilt it as he taught her. The foamy head overflowed and spilled to the counter. She jumped back, and the glass slipped from her hand and shattered against the bar.
Her cheeks turned crimson, and a string of apologies fell from her lips.
My insides simmered, working up to a full boil. Where are my apologies?
Roy calmly helped her clean up the mess. The second attempt went better as she tipped the glass and triumph shone in her beautiful features.
“Is that Kandra?” Quinn finally found his voice.
“Damn.” Ethan finished his beer and signaled Roy for another. “I’m not interested, but even I can see time has been kind to her. She’s even more beautiful now.” A thunk sounded under the table. “Ouch.” He glared at Quinn. “What the—” Our brother must have kicked him.
“Don’t even think about it,” Quinn said to Ethan, before turning to me.
“Don’t worry about it.” Kandra and I were old news. She moved on when she realized I couldn’t give her the life she wanted, so it didn’t matter that she was back. Not one bit. “You can have her.” I finished my beer.
“You can’t have her,” Quinn said to Ethan before turning to me. “Noah, you loved her, man. Maybe her coming back is a sign.”
“Yeah, it’s red, octagonal, and says STOP in big white letters.” I glowered into my empty glass. I would not let Kandra back into my life. I swore back then I’d never hand anyone the tools to gut me ever again.
“Come on, Noah. Nobody’s falling for it.” Quinn’s forgotten beer rested between his hands while he leaned across the table to get closer.
“There’s nothing to fall for.” I refused to look at her again for fear that something would give me away.
Quinn snorted. “You’re still in love with her.”
I shook my head. “Why don’t you play matchmaker somewhere else? I’m not interested.” I jerked my chin in Bayden’s direction.
Quinn had to know he and Miranda were making eyes at each other, but Quinn ignored his twin and scrutinized me instead. “Nice try. You don’t get to deflect this.”
“There’s nothing to deflect because there’s nothing there.” He didn’t get it. Kandra and I were a dead end. There was nothing between us but bitter history, and no amount of probing, pestering, or pleading on his part could change that.
“Okay. Then you won’t mind if I do this.” Quinn stood up, cupped his hands around his mouth, and called out, “Another round, please.”
“You’re a dick.” I wanted to kick him, but when I swung my boot, he stepped back.
He grinned. “I’m gonna hit the head.”
Bayden stood up and moved in Angie’s direction, but Ethan shoved him back into his chair. “Don’t even think about it.”
My brothers glared at each other.
“What’s this sudden interest in Angie?” I asked.
Bayden looked from me to Ethan to Miranda. “Maybe I’m interested … or maybe I’m trying to make someone jealous.”
“Which is it?” Ethan grumbled.
“What’s it matter to you?”
“Sorry, guys.” Roy dropped off our beers, ending the sibling exchange, and rushed away.
“Guess the universe is giving you a break since Roy delivered the drinks.” Ethan didn’t take his eyes off Bayden. There was something feral and territorial in them. They were like two dogs going after the same bone.
I snorted. “A break? Yeah, right.” Kandra didn’t come to the table this time, but what about next time? What about tomorrow? There was no way I could avoid her forever. Unless she got fired, but even then, I’d probably just bump into her around town. If I was truly lucky, she would move away again.
Bayden stood up and walked toward Angie.
Ethan tried to grab him again, but he evaded capture.
“He’s tenacious,” I said.
Ethan turned to face me. “He’s a pain in the ass.” He took a drink of his beer. “You never told us why you cut out early today.”
I was glad to steer the conversation in a direction that wasn’t Kandra. “It’s two years tomorrow.” I didn’t need to remind him, because he already knew.
He lifted his head. “You visit him?”
It was what I did. I sat down every year next to his granite headstone and talked to my dad.
“I should have known.” Ethan sounded disappointed. “You know, you can talk to us.”
We’d been over this before. “I know. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to suffer alone.” The raw note in his voice said he was grieving too. Because I was the oldest and had more years with dad, I think I took it the hardest.
This time of the year was difficult for all of us, and we dealt with it in our own private ways.
I withdrew, Ethan pretended nothing happened, Bayden grew sullen, and Quinn … well, I had no idea how he handled things because nothing ever seemed to faze him. Though I knew it had devastated him, he seemed to have bounced back rather nicely.
“Thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
He seemed to sober up as he watched Bayden talk to Angie. “Two years,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to me.