She leveled with me about her need to make the best of things, but I also needed that chance, and it would be easier without her in my path.
“This is my favorite hangout.” I sipped my beer, and she blinked, then nodded. Her brows knitted together.
“Makes sense, seeing it’s the only bar in town.”
“My brothers and I come here almost every day after work.” I stared into my glass, refusing to look at her, but I was as aware of her as I’d be an angry bear or a rabid dog.
“That’s great.” Her cheerful answer didn’t match the flat tone of her voice.
“What I need you to do is make sure that someone else takes our orders. I can ask Roy later.” I glanced at her as raw panic filled her eyes, chased by the sheen of tears.
“He’ll think I upset you.”
Her ragged whisper made me shake my head.
“I’ll assure him you didn’t. I just think it would be best for the both of us to keep our distance. I don’t want either of us to be uncomfortable. You understand, right?”
Relief seeped into her features, but hurt gathered on the rim of her lower lids and threatened to overflow.
She nodded. “Yes. Fine,” she said, but her tone implied my solution was everything but fine.
Every man knew that when a girl said fine, it wasn’t.
I could have kept her from standing. I could have explained myself—my fears and concerns. I could have told her why, but I didn’t stop her as she stood up and stared at me. She gripped the edge of the table like she might collapse. After a deep inhale, she spun around and left me alone to drown my sorrows in beer.
Chapter Four
Kandra
Pain chewed at me, and I sucked in a deep, trembling breath as I walked behind the bar.
“Time for your fifteen-minute break.” Roy’s voice drowned out the words—words circling my brain like ravenous vultures, ready to devour whatever last vestige of self-esteem I had left.
“Thank you.” Without giving him a chance to look at my face, I slipped out the back door and into the alleyway. Breathing in the crisp evening air, I walked down the steps and put my back to the brick wall and slid down to the ground, my shirt catching on the rough parts as I made my way to the asphalt. The clean alleyway didn’t have a shred of trash, not even a stray cigarette butt. The only thing that shouldn’t have been there was the brilliant green moss growing on the edges of the concrete road and maybe … me.
One of the things I loved about this place was the pride its residents took in the town. Every person had ownership.
When I was younger, Cross Creek seemed like a suffocating place, but as an adult, I understood why my parents thought it was the perfect place to raise a family. It was safe and quiet, and everyone knew each other—everyone cared.
Cross Creek didn’t come with big-town problems or attitudes. The people here looked out for one another.
“I didn’t think it would be like this.” I pulled my legs to my chest and put my forehead on my knees.
“Careful talking to yourself. People might start to think you’re crazy.” I recognized Gypsy’s voice but didn’t lift my head.
“Maybe I am crazy.” Why had I come back? Sure, the town was a great place, but I knew I’d run into Noah again. Maybe in the furthest reaches of my heart and mind, I hoped we could be friends. Not that we could be together because everything had become so ridiculously complicated, but seeing him again stirred things inside me.
The sound of something scraping the wall beside me was all the proof I needed that Gypsy had sat down next to me. “What makes you think that?” A tender hand patted my shoulder.
“I came back. That’s pretty crazy.”
“Seems like a smart move to me.” Her cheerful tone did nothing to brighten my mood since she didn’t know the whole story.
“I thought Noah would have gotten over the anger and pain I caused him.” Tears stung my eyes.
“Did you really think that, or did you just hope he’d magically forget?”
I lifted both shoulders, then let them drop.
“Honey, he was gutted when you left. You hurt him because he loved you and he missed you terribly.”
Loved—past tense. Somehow that stung more than anything else, but what could I expect? I left and moved on. I made choices that I’d have to live with all my life. “Thanks,” I said as kindly as I could while fresh tears clung to my lashes.
Ugh, would I be a mess like this all the time?
“I don’t feel like I was helpful,” Gypsy said.
“It’s not you. It’s just … a mess. All of it.” I wasn’t about to get into details. I could hardly admit them to myself, much less anyone else.
“I thought he might keep me at arm’s length because I hurt him. That is an understandable reaction, but he’s downright cold and verging on mean.”
“Of course, he’d be guarded. He’s afraid you’ll hurt him again. I bet he still loves you. I could ask him if you want.”
“No!” I grabbed her arm to stop her as she stood up. “Please don’t,” I begged.
She nodded, her kind eyes sparkling. “Okay, I won’t ask him.”
I let her go, and she walked toward the door before turning back to me. “You can ask him yourself. I’ll send him out.” With that, she slipped back inside, and I groaned.
There was no way she would talk him into coming out. Noah could barely look at me, much less exit the bar to speak to me.
Besides, I wasn’t sure I could take more of his hostility, no matter how deserved it might be.
The last words he said were still on repeat like a crappy song in my brain. Roy’s is my favorite hangout. My brothers and I come here almost every day after work. What I need you to do is make sure that someone else—anyone else—takes our orders and comes to our table. I’m letting you know first, but I’ll tell Roy later.
The words still smarted. I hung my head, feeling humiliated. Our past was so bad he couldn’t even stomach the thought of seeing me. No, it was worse than that. He thought I’d ruin his favorite place.
Not that I had a lot of choices, but maybe I shouldn’t have come back.
The door opened, and Noah’s tall, muscular frame filled it before moving down the steps toward me. I refused to look him in the eyes, and instead, put my head back down. “Did Gypsy put you up to this?” How the heck did she talk him into coming out here to speak to me?
“Yes.” His careful, neutral voice didn’t betray a hint of what he was thinking, not that I needed to know. I could imagine whatever I wanted about Noah, but the fact that he was here, beside me, had to mean something. Maybe there was hope of a friendship for us, after all.
“Look, I’m sorry for the things I said to you before I left. I burned bridges, and I regret it.” I hadn’t intended things to sound so bad, but I could close my eyes and still see the hurt in his when he begged me not to go and promised we’d be happy in Cross Creek. I told him I needed more than the town could offer—more than he could offer. Even now, the thought of it made me cringe.
“I’m not the same person I was when I left.” A lump the size of a garlic knot stuck in my throat, and it took two swallows to get it down.