Prologue
10 YEARS AGO,
WITH SHAKY FINGERS, I clutch my stomach. There's a life growing inside of me. A life that's been forced on me... A sob wrecks my body as I remember his icy fingers on me. Immediately, I heave and go straight to the bathroom, emptying the contents of my stomach. After putting myself slightly together, I move to the mirror and examine my figure. There's already a bulge where a smooth stomach had once been. Soon, I will not be able to hide my condition at all.
I don't want to think about what my father will do when he finds out. No matter what, this child is not guilty of anything, and I intend to guard it with my life. Which is why I've been biding my time so it's impossible to get an abortion. It's been around five months now... five should guarantee my baby is unharmed, no?
I steel my spine and go downstairs before my resolve disappears. I head straight to my father's study, and I knock.
"Enter." He barks, and I make my way inside. My mother and Enzo are there too, and I hope maybe they will help me.
"Catalina, a surprise." My father looks me up and down in distaste. He already knows about the incident. I'd been missing for two whole days, and for a sheltered seventeen-year-old to do that... They already knew what to expect when they found me. Ever since that moment, my father had declared me damaged goods. I don't know how I hid the pregnancy until now, given the circumstances, but maybe it was a small mercy in the grand scheme of things.
"Talk!" He demands, and my hands start fidgeting in front of me.
"I... I'm pregnant." I whisper, and my head droops, not wanting to meet his gaze. I only hear a banging noise before my body is forcefully backed against the wall. My father has his hand around my throat, his eyes blazing with fury.
"You're pregnant..." He gives a mirthless laugh. "And you noticed just now? Stupid girl."
"I want to keep it," I say, hoping my voice holds enough power. He gives me a shove, and I fall to my knees.
"She wants to keep it. Do you hear that?" He's laughing now, a maniacal laugh that has me wincing. "After all I've done for you, and this is how you repay me, girl? I could have found a husband to overlook your lack of virtue, but a bastard. No one's going to take you now."
"Please..." I whisper, not knowing exactly what I am asking for.
"Out! Get out! If you're of no use to me, you might as well disappear from my sight."
"But papa..." I start, panicking. I'm seventeen and pregnant. How can I manage on the streets alone?
"Father, I think I have a better solution. One that won't sully our name either." Enzo interjects, his eyes turning towards me and pleading me to stay quiet.
"Speak!"
"We can send her off to Sacre Coeur. She can give birth there and live with the nuns. If anyone asks, we can say she had religious inclinations, and we could not stand against her righteous path. Then our name will not only suffer no injury, but we will also be praised for our Catholic spirit." Enzo explains, and my father considers this for a minute.
"Fine. But she's never to return. From now on, she's no longer my daughter." He declares, and I can only sigh in relief. I will be safe. My baby will be safe.
Enzo comes to me, helping me to my feet.
"Easy, Lina. I got you." He whispers close to my ear, and the tension in my shoulders is suddenly released. I let myself lean on him as he helps me out of the study and to my room.
"You should start packing some essentials."
"Thank you, Enzo. Thank you!" I fling myself into his arms. "You've not only saved me, but you've saved my baby too." His arms tighten around me.
"This is just the beginning of the road, Lina. You've made a decision that will affect your entire life, but I can't say I blame you." He shakes his head ruefully.
"At least I will be with my child... and safe," I add, a shiver going through my body at the thought of that man with the amber eyes.
"I will make sure of it, piccola. When I become capo, I will return you to your rightful place. Just... wait for me." He kisses my brow and leaves.
A convent... Anything is better than remaining in this den of vipers. I have someone to protect now.
TWO MONTHS LATER,
I DIDN'T EXPECT SACRE Coeur to be so... sacred. I've tried to interact with some nuns and novitiates, but they've been cold to me, as if being pregnant out of wedlock is the biggest sin on earth. After being rebuked too many times, I just stopped trying. They had given me my own quarters in the form of a small and barren single bedroom. It's not much, especially for an expecting mother, but they'd told me I was already fortunate enough to not have a roommate. Somehow I doubt it had been my fortune, or rather, no one had wanted to share a space with a sinner.
I carefully make my bed before heading out for breakfast. As usual, all the women give me icy stares, so I take my tray and head towards the back of the dining hall. The food they serve isn't the best... but I guess at this point I really can't be picky. I have a roof over my head, and I get to keep my baby. Nothing else matters. I'll get used to the standards at some point.
Minding my own business, I'm startled by the sound of sliding metal against my table. I lift my head a fraction and see a little girl looking at me hesitantly.
"Can I sit here?" She asks in a quiet voice, incertitude written all over her face.
"Of course." I immediately reply. She gives me a tentative smile and quietly takes a seat across from me.
She's young, probably around eight or nine years old. She's wearing a dark blue uniform, similar to the other girls her age. Her hair is so blonde, it's almost white, which is contrasted by her olive skin tone. A very unusual combination. Her eyes, though, are the lightest shade of brown I've ever seen in my life. She has stunning features, and she'd undoubtedly grow up to be a stunner. But there's also something else. A splotchy red circle mars her skin on her right side, spreading from the top of her eyebrow and going into her hairline.
I notice her tight smile trembling a little at my perusal and I realize I'd been staring. I give her a soft nod, hoping to alleviate her fears that I won't judge her for her appearance.
We eat in silence and I can't help but hear hushed voices around us, some of them mentioning Satan's whore and the Devil's child. Of course I know who they're talking about. The girl in front of me is probably just as marginalized.
"What's your name?" I ask.
"Assisi." She replies after chewing her food and swallowing.
"I'm Catalina."
She doesn't respond, but her features seem more relaxed.
After finishing my food, I stand up to put my tray away. Assisi immediately rises from her seat as well and follows me.
"Can I come too?" She asks in the same quiet voice. I frown.
"Where?"
"Wherever you're going." She shrugs slightly. One look around and I can see how the other women stare at her. Poor child...
"Of course." I say and to show her she's safe with me, I take her hand. She seems a little surprised at the contact, but instead of shying away, she fits herself closer to my body.
I show her my room and she marvels at the fact that I live alone. She tells me that her sleeping quarters have ten beds that are always full. I'm taken aback by that. Surely that can't be legal. I don't comment on it, however, since it's clear that this is all Assisi's ever known.