Maybe I do sin... but why can't she teach me how not to do it anymore? If not her, then I don't know who else. My brother is twenty... I think that's a lot. But he doesn't like to talk to me. He usually just nods at me and leaves. And my father... I'm simply happy when he doesn't notice me. Honestly, I've wanted to learn how not to sin for a long time. My mother says that if I don't stop now, I'll sin even more when I grow up.
I don't want to sin when I grow up. I want to be normal... And maybe if I don't sin, then mother will like me too.
"Sure." She takes one look at the puppy in my arms and shrugs. We'd just returned from a parent-teacher meeting at my kindergarten when I saw a tiny ball of fur outside my school. I'd nestled it in my jacket and given it something to eat. All this time I'd been waiting with worry, thinking she'd say no. But she agreed. I can't help but beam at the thought, hugging the little furred body closer to my chest.
I think the puppy likes me. And now, since mother says I can keep it, I won't be alone anymore. I'll have a friend.
I've always wanted a friend. Other kids at kindergarten have friends, but they never talk to me. They told me their parents warned them not to become too friendly with me because my father is an evil man. I know my father is bad, but I'm not. I'd tried to tell them that. I do sin sometimes, but I try to be a good boy. At least not to anger mother. But they ignored me.
Mother rolls her eyes at me and leads me towards our car, where the driver is waiting for us.
The drive home doesn't take too long, but mother keeps clutching her cross necklace in her hand and whispering something. I try not to think about that since she's scary when she's whispering things.
When we get to the house, I hurry out of the car, taking the puppy with me. I don't want to wait around in case mother changes her mind, or worse, she has one of her fits. I immediately dash to my room and close the door.
Our house is enormous. I sometimes get lost in it, but I try not to wander too much. Father's already told me off for going where I'm not supposed to. My room is on the third floor, but I'm the only one living there and it's a little scary.
My brother, Tino, used to live here too. Now, he rarely comes home. But he always brings me a chocolate bar when he comes. I like that... even though he doesn't speak to me, at least he remembers I exist.
I tried once to go downstairs, but some areas are forbidden, especially the basement. I'm really curious though. I've been curious ever since I heard some maids talk about it. They're not allowed there either. I once tried to go to the basement, by my father's men stopped me.
Father has a lot of men obeying his orders, and they are always around the house. He told me there are monsters in the basement and that they could hurt me. I don't know why, but I don't believe that. If there are monsters there, then why are they allowed to go? Do the monsters not harm them too? Or maybe the monsters prefer kids... I don't know, but I don't think I want to risk it.
And it's not only the basement. I'm not allowed on the first floor either. That's where father and mother live. Mother told me she never wants to catch me there, or I'd regret it. She said nothing about monsters, though. But it would be weird if they lived with monsters, wouldn't it? How could they survive that? Unless they're monsters, too. But I know they aren't. Because if they were monsters, I'd be a monster too. And I'm not... At least I don't think so. I know my mother says I sin a lot, but I don't think I'm that different from other kids. I just don't have any friends.
I unbutton my jacket and carefully take out the puppy to place it on the floor. He looks at me with wide eyes and I can't help but smile at him. He gives a small yapping sound and then runs around the room, inspecting every corner. His body is so small, his fur a warm shade of brown. As I watch him energetically running around my chair, I think of a name.
He should have a name.
He barks a few times at me, and I assume he wants attention. I scoop him again and nuzzle him with my cheek. That's when I catch a sniff of something bad. I don't know what this smell is, but the puppy reeks of it. Probably because he's been living on the streets.
"Let's get you cleaned!" I tell him. He shakes his head and nuzzles his nose against my foot as if he understands me. Maybe he does.
"You'll feel better clean. I always do." I open the bathroom door, and since I can't reach the sink, I drop the puppy in the bathtub. I take off my own clothes, folding them aside so they don't get wet before joining him inside.
Setting the water temperature on warm, I scrub the puppy clean, lathering a good amount of shampoo on the fur, and rinsing it well. The puppy doesn't seem too happy, and he tries to jump out of the tub a couple of time. I frown at him and I try to tell him in a stern tone that he can't do that.
Somehow, he stops being that restless, and that earns a smile from me. I think I got myself a friendly puppy.
Back to the name... I keep thinking about it as I clean him, and only one thing comes to mind. He will be my first friend... my first amico. That's why his name should be Amico.
Satisfied, I take a towel and try to dry him before doing the same for myself. Amico runs out of the room before I'm finished, though.
I try to hurry as much as I can, and when I catch up with him, I take it in my arms.
"From now on, your name is Amico."
I don't think father would approve of him.
I'm not worried that mother will tell him though, since she probably forgot about it already. In the days after I adopt Amico, I see mother only a few times around the house, but she doesn't take notice of me. It's ok though. It's usually like that. And since she takes most of her meals in her room, there's really no reason for us to meet.
The maids like Amico too, and they sometimes sneak food for him. One of them even got him dog treats. I feel bad, since I can't afford to buy Amico actual dog food, and he usually gets my leftovers. But he hasn't complained yet.
IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS now that I've had Amico, and I don't know how I managed before. It's so different having someone to talk to, even if Amico can't talk back. And he's so playful... he's always in the mood to run around.
"Signorino Marcello," Amelia, a maid, calls me over from the hallway. She's one of the few ones who asks me how I'm doing. I know it's her job, but it feels nice.
"Melia." I go to her and look up, curious why she'd want to talk to me. Amico is nestling in my arms, and he makes a small noise. She looks at the puppy with an almost sad expression.
"The Signor is home. Be careful." She says in a hushed tone, before heading for the stairs and going back to work.
I sigh deeply, already uncomfortable at the thought. I'd imagined father would be gone for much longer. He rarely comes home.
I go back to my room to drop Amico off, hoping father would quickly return to his business as usual. I don't know what will happen if he finds out I brought a dog home. He has strict rules...
I open the door and stoop low to put Amico down. He's barely out of my hands when he dashes back into the hallway and down the stairs.
"No..." My eyes go wide with horror, and I run after him. I see him hopping down a few stairs and I do the same, trying to catch up. But he's smaller and faster than me. He rushes down to the second story, and I'm horrified.