I don't know when she stops doing it, or how I end up in the back yard, covered in blood and bruises and trying to give Amico a proper burial.
But there is one thing I learned that day.
I am a monster.
I am a sinner.
And there is no redemption.
Chapter Three
PRESENT-DAY,
STANDING IN FRONT OF the Lastra mansion, I have to steel myself against the unwanted memories rushing back. I'd never thought I'd have to return here—ever again. When I'd finally escaped this life, I'd decided it was forever. I should have known that someone like me can never fully run away.
It's now been a week since my brother's death. I have to be honest with myself. Tino's death had hit me hard. Harder than expected, considering we'd never been close. He had done me the greatest favor, however, and so he'd earned both my respect and my loyalty. Funny, how I'd been caught between that loyalty and my friendship with my best friend, Adrian, whom I ended up betraying.
And because of me, he's now laying on a hospital bed, uncertain whether he will wake up. Bianca, his wife, had prohibited me from visiting. Given what I'd done, I deserve that. Still... it hurts not being next to my friend when he needs me. Even though I'd done irreparable damage to our relationship, I still hope that someday I'll be able to make amends.
Someday.
Already sweating, I take off my coat and fold it nicely on my arm. Nodding at two of the bodyguards, I go in front of the door and ring the bell. An older woman appears and frowns at me. Of course no one would recognize me. It's been too long.
"I'm Marcello." I say and watch her face spread into a smile.
"Signor! Venezia will be ever so happy to hear you are finally here."
"Finally?"
"Yes, Signor Valentino told us you were coming back. Such a pity he died. May he rest in peace." The woman says as she makes the sign of the cross with her hands.
"Come in, come in." She ushers me inside the great hall, and I have to take a deep breath to shut down the unwanted memories. The screams... The pain...
"What's your name?" I ask her, more out of courtesy than anything.
"Amelia, signor."
"Amelia..." I say her name, suddenly remembering something. "That Amelia?"
"Si, signor. I was rehired by your brother, but it was after you'd left." She confirms, and I'm slightly more at ease.
"Are you... my brother?" A soft voice inquires from the top of the stairs. I lift my head and see a young woman, looking almost timidly at me. She is wearing a long blue dress. Her mahogany hair is curled in ringlets down her shoulders. She has a heart-shaped face, with strong cheekbones and a pair of slanted hazel eyes.
She looks exactly like her mother.
"You must be Venezia." I relax my features into a pleasant smile. The last thing I want to do is to scare the girl away.
"Yes." She nods before tentatively taking a step and then another until she is on eye level with me and Amelia.
"Signorina." Amelia fusses over Venezia, and it's clear they have a close relationship.
"You've grown a lot." I add, trying to come up with a suitable topic. "Last I remember, you were this tall." I move my hand to show she'd only reached my thigh when I'd last seen her... when she'd been about five.
"One does that in ten years." She says, but immediately lowers her gaze as she realizes her tone.
"Signorina!" Amelia's outraged voice chides.
"I know I've been gone a long while. But now I'm here. And I'll do my duty for this family."
"Really?" Venezia snaps at me, her eyes narrowing. "Like you did with my sister? Tell me, will you send me away too?"
"Signorina Venezia, your brother meant well." Amelia tries to interject, but Venezia does not stop.
"He meant well when he called her a Devil's child and gave her away to a convent?" Her voice is full of malice as she emphasizes Devil's child. I have to briefly close my eyes at her accusation. How does she even know? Venezia's tirade continues, and I know I have to do something about it.
"Enough!" My voice booms, and both women are quiet, their eyes wide as they stare at me.
"Last time I checked you are under my guardianship, Venezia. And now I am the head of this family, so you will do well to respect my authority. You're right. I sent your sister away. It would be quite easy to do the same to you." Venezia opens her mouth to say something, but I continue. "How much easier would everything be if I didn't have to worry about you..." I say musingly.
Venezia pales as she realizes that I might be serious, and she mumbles something.
"After all, I find your manners quite lacking. Maybe a finishing school would do just the trick."
"You can't do that!" She exclaims, coming closer. I can tell she's fuming at the notion.
"It's up to you, really." I try my best at seeming disinterested in her fate as I list her options. "But then again, if you behave... we can all get along, can't we?"
She looks at me defiantly for a second, before admitting defeat.
"Yes."
"Yes what, Venezia?"
"Yes, sir." She adds meekly before running up the stairs.
I turn to Amelia, but she's looking at me with disappointment in her eyes.
"I thought you were different. Sir." She says before she too leaves.
All alone in the great hall, I take a deep breath.
I thought I was different too...
Until I wasn't.
THE HOUSE IS STILL as I remember it... And that's the problem.
I bring a small luggage into one of the guest rooms on the ground floor, thinking this would do for now. I don't own a lot of things. It's been a habit since the day I ran away. I unpack the luggage and take out a few shirts and pants, and a small bag of toiletries to put in the adjoining bathroom.
The urge to flee almost overwhelms me, but I have to remind myself I'm doing this for my sisters. I have to ensure their safety, especially since a power void like Tino's death would make them bargaining chips in a potential takeover. With Venezia so young, and Assisi still a novitiate, the odds of them being in danger are just too high. Never mind the plan that Vlad suggested...
But there are things to be done. No matter how much I may dread my current position and what it entails, I also need it for its resources. To kick start the succession plans, I'd met with Tino's lawyers and accountants and they'd forwarded me the documents to look over. I'd also been given a list with all the people previously under Tino's command.
Being Capo doesn't only mean taking charge of the business side of the famiglia, it also means earning the respect of the people in the famiglia. A lawyer by profession, I'm no stranger to the legal aspects of running a business. Although I'd focused on criminal law most of my career, I have some experience with the corporate side, which should prove useful. It's the latter part that worries me. I must summon an official meeting within the famiglia and introduce myself as capo to make them accept me as the new authority. Tino had taken care of everything, though. He'd known his end was near and had made sure there were enough loopholes in the succession order that I would be the most viable option as capo. That doesn't mean there won't be opposition.