‘Nothing out of the ordinary. Did a bit of lesson planning after school, then went straight to netball.’
‘How many goals this time?’
‘Three, but it was only a practice game. Our next proper match isn’t for a while.’ I close the laptop and stretch out my arms. ‘I’ve put a lasagne in the oven.’
‘Great, I’m starving. I’ll just have a quick shower.’
‘OK. Oh, and I’ve heard from Amy, she’s finally organised her birthday do. I’ll tell you over dinner.’
I prepare a salad and serve up the lasagne along with two glasses of sparkling water. Theo is the first partner I’ve had who doesn’t drink, and since our decision to start a family, it’s having a good effect on me. I can’t remember the last time I opened a bottle of wine at home. The boiler whooshes as he showers, and I think about the invitation. I try to convince myself it would be good to get the old gang together again, and the party with all our partners should be fun, but no matter how positive a spin I try to put on it, I’m nervous. On the plus side, Theo has never been to Blackwood Forest before, and there are some great runs for him to do, trails already established by the many runners who use the wood. We could even stay an extra day, just the two of us, away from London and our busy lives. Maybe in a different part of Buckinghamshire, though, as the mere mention of Blackwood Forest makes my skin tingle.
Theo smells of apple shampoo when he reappears. His towel-dried hair looks darker blonde when it’s damp, and he’s shaved his stubble off, which makes him appear younger.
‘Smells good,’ he says as the aroma of baked cheese wafts around the kitchen. ‘Anything I can do?’
‘Just eat.’
We sit opposite one another on bar stools at the kitchen counter, which extends into the open-plan living room. Does it bother him too that we no longer hug when he comes home? In the old days that hug would often develop into a lingering kiss. A peck on the cheek would be a good start. Give it time, I tell myself; we’re getting on so much better than we were this time last month.
I tell him about the birthday weekend while we eat.
‘It falls in the Easter holidays, so that’s not a problem. This term has felt like the longest ever.’ I love teaching Year 6, but by the end of every term I’m ready to drop.
‘So this is the cottage her aunt left her?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Where is it?’
‘It’s in Blackwood, not far from where we went to university.’
Amy was the only student I knew who actually came from the area. At eighteen, most of us couldn’t wait to get as far away from home as possible. Me and my sister would have ended up killing one another if I hadn’t. I could never have foreseen how we’d all leave Blackwood as soon as our finals were over, returning briefly for graduation before scurrying back to our respective homes. Once again, Amy was the only one of us who stayed in the area. It must have been tough for her, an impossible choice, but her mother needed her.
‘Will she move into the cottage?’
‘I doubt it. She only bought her flat about two years ago. This has come out of the blue. Last time we spoke, she was still in shock about it. She’d been close to her aunt when she was younger, but they lost touch when the aunt had some kind of falling-out with Amy’s mother, and this was totally unexpected. The aunt wasn’t old, either. In any case, I can’t imagine Amy would want to move in.’
‘Why not?’
‘The cottage is small, and it’s on the edge of a huge forest. It’s a bit creepy. I wouldn’t want to live there.’
‘It would be great for walking and running.’
‘I knew you’d think that. And yes, it would, although …’ I concentrate on a particularly chewy piece of lasagne, not wanting him to pick up on my discomfort. I didn’t plan not to tell him what had happened back at university, but given that I preferred to shove the memories out of my mind whenever they made an unfortunate appearance, I’d just never got round to it.
He finishes his food and pushes his plate away.
‘Although?’
‘Nothing important. Did you enjoy that?’
‘Great, thanks. Are you not going to finish yours?’
The half-eaten lasagne on my plate no longer looks appetising. I slide it towards him and he tucks in eagerly. Theo eats more than any other man I’ve been out with, on account of all the energy he uses up at work.
‘So it’s a long weekend for the women, with the men arriving for the main event? Sounds good to me.’
‘Not just men. Kat’s got a partner now.’
‘Oh yes, I forgot, though from what you’ve told me, her relationships don’t normally last that long. Who says they’ll still be together by Easter?’
‘Theo! That’s only two weeks away.’ He’s right, though, of course. Kat’s always been a bit of a free spirit, no matter how much she moans about wanting to settle down. ‘Jade might well be the one. She’s been around for a good few months now, and Kat sounded pretty smitten last time I spoke to her. Jade and I hit it off straight away, so I hope it works out.’
‘Good for her.’
‘You know what this means, though?’ I look at him directly, struck as I always am by how much I love him, wishing I could be sure he felt the same way, hating the niggling doubt that won’t quite go no matter how many times we’ve seen the relationship counsellor.
‘No, what?’ He gathers the plates together and takes them over to the sink, raising his voice as he turns the hot tap on full.
‘Daisy.’
‘Ah, yes. You haven’t seen her since that evening, have you? How long ago is it now?’
‘Six months. I’ve been meaning to ring her but kept putting it off. This invite is deliberate on Amy’s part. The four of us were a really tight group at university and she wants us all back together like we used to be. I can understand why, given what a tough year she’s had.’
‘Give Daisy a ring. I’m sure she’s been meaning to ring you too. And she’ll have had her invitation, so it will no doubt be on her mind. I bet she’ll be happy to hear from you.’
‘When did you get so wise?’ Our eyes meet and I look away, wishing my tongue didn’t run away with me. We’ve spent the last nine months in counselling, and Theo has become very good at articulating his emotions in front of the therapist – too good at times.
‘You’re right,’ I say. ‘I’ll give her a ring. We need to sort it out before the party, to make sure we’re cool with each other before we get there. For Amy’s sake, if nothing else.’
‘I guess it’s possible she won’t go,’ he says, plunging his hands into the sink, then quickly jumping backwards. ‘Ouch. Jeez, that’s hot.’
The suggestion floats through my mind, a lifeline. Daisy might say no and Kat will be busy; Amy will cancel and the weekend won’t happen, we won’t need to go back to Blackwood and confront the ghost that awaits us.
If only.
Chapter Two
‘Do you fancy watching another episode of that drama this evening?’ Theo scrolls through the TV guide, legs stretched in front of him. He used to stretch them across my lap not so long ago. Baby steps.