“Right, guys, you two have a lot to catch up on,” Tyler says as he produces some papers from his work bag, putting them on the table.
Two coffees and a couple of hours later, Michael and I have been brought up to speed and we all decide to break for an early lunch. My brain has been overloaded with information, so I am grateful for the unanimous decision.
“Shall we nip back home and get some food there?” Michael says, phrasing it as a question that I’m not expected to answer. I don’t have time to do anything as he grabs the top of my arm and marches me out of the office and out of the building. His long strides mean that I have to almost jog to keep up with him, otherwise he would be dragging me along behind him, and his grip is so firm that I know he isn’t about to let go.
It only takes five minutes to reach the apartment. I’m sure that he is looking forward to spending the next fifty minutes of our lunch break teaching me about how Tyler’s hug this morning was totally unacceptable.
We climb the stairs of the apartment block, and when we reach our front door, Michael unlocks it, thrusting it open with a kick of his foot before he pushes me in front of him. I keep myself upright and walk as casually as I can into the kitchen, but my whole body is tense, on alert.
The front door slams shut.
I stay rooted to the spot in the kitchen, keeping my watchful eyes on Michael as he walks down the hallway. Before I can process anything, Michael grabs me and slams me against the kitchen wall, causing me to yelp out loud as pain bursts all across my back. He presses the front of his body into the front of mine, pinning me, using his hands to hold mine by my sides.
“Do you enjoy embarrassing me?” he says, inches from my face, making me feel flustered. Adrenaline pulses through me, but the fear is taking over, stopping me from trying to show him that I am done with this bullshit. “Have a thing for Tyler, do you?”
“Of course I don’t,” I reply, my voice sounding stronger than I feel.
Michael shakes his head from side to side. “I thought that you had learnt from your past mistakes, Lucy.” His tone is cold, and I know that I am going to have to try and persuade his fucked-up brain that he is being unreasonable.
“I have, Michael. I’m sorry if I have upset you, but please, I don’t want to argue, not after the last two weeks with you have been like they used to be.” I prise one of my hands free, lifting it and placing it on his cheek, gently running my thumb along his slight stubble.
“We’re getting back to how we used to be, Michael, so please, let’s not ruin all of our hard work.” I sound pathetic, and nothing like the strong woman that I vowed to be this morning.
But then, maybe that’s the point?
Flip the switch.
Play a different game.
Something different.
“I want that too,” Michael says as his eyes soften, and his grip on my other hand loosens. He moves his hand up my side, along my collarbone and places his fingers around my neck. My pulse quickens, but I stop my eyes from going wide. He enjoys my fear, I won’t let him feed off it anymore.
His fingers grip my throat, not tight enough to really hurt me, but tight enough to let me know that he isn’t fucking around. “You have to understand that I still worry that you’re going to leave me. I’m never going to let that happen, Lucy. You’re mine, and if I can’t have you then no one will.”
His words chill me to the bone and I stop myself from gulping down the lump that has formed in my throat. Instead, I cup his cheek, move my other hand to the one around my throat and gently pull it away. He complies, and I pray to God that this is enough to keep him from losing his cool.
I move my head forward slightly until I place a light kiss on his lips. “I don’t want anyone else. Only you.”
His eyes light up from my words, and if I ever needed a moment to clarify to me that Michael is a fucking lunatic, then this was it. Despite the beatings and the cruel words, his enjoyment at trapping me is insane. It makes no sense to me. Why would anyone want to trap another person?
He runs his tongue along the bottom of my lip and I control my body, stopping it from shuddering like it wants to.
“I’m so glad that you’re finally learning, Lucy,” he says as he nuzzles my neck and wraps his arms around my waist, holding me close to him.
Michael will kill me if he can’t have me, and I’m not prepared to live this life anymore.
One of us won’t recover from this, and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that I’m no longer a victim.
Michael wouldn’t know true love if it smacked him in the face.
No, the only type of love he knows is the one in hell, and I’m tired of feeling the heat.
Chapter Seven
Learning to dodge
The week has passed by in a miserable blur. Work has been the only thing that has kept my mind occupied from thoughts of everyone that I love hating me. Kim has shot daggers my way whenever she has seen me, Michael has looked more joyful than ever as the week has gone on, and I have had no way of contacting Cal.
My resolve to embrace my inner-strength is waning, rapidly.
I have been racking my brains for a way to see Cal, so that I can explain what I am doing, but so far, I am drawing a blank. I desperately want to talk to him even if it is selfish of me. His parting words, “I fucking love you, Lucy,” have been at the forefront of my mind. He came back from travelling the world to be swept up in my shit-show of a love life, and now he thinks that I have cast him aside.
I don’t want him to think that.
I need to put this right.
As the clock ticks closer to five o’clock, I know that I don’t have long left to try and speak to Kim. It’s my only chance, and I’ve been building up to it all week long.
“I just need to nip to the toilet,” I say, standing up from my seat before Michael can say anything, and before I lose my nerve. I swiftly leave the project room, my heart pounding as I walk straight past the toilets and enter the main office. Rushing over to Kim’s desk, I start to speak before she can tell me to fuck off.
“Kim, I know that things haven’t been great between us recently, and I am so sorry for that,” I start, getting my words out quickly. I don’t have long in which to say what I need to. “I can’t explain to you what is going on, I just need you to trust that I am doing the right thing. I miss you, Kim, and I hate the thought of you wanting nothing to do with me.”
I look at the clock, realising that a couple of minutes have passed since I left the project room. I need to go back before Michael comes looking for me.
“Please, Kim, please just trust me,” I plead, quickly taking two letters out of the waistband of my trousers and placing them on her desk. I folded each letter small enough so that Michael wouldn’t see them.
“Just read the letter with your name on, I beg you. The other letter is for Cal, please, could you give it to him for me?” I desperately hope that she will pass that letter on.
“I have to go,” I say before turning and scurrying from the room. I run to the toilets and lock myself in one of the cubicles, trying to calm my racing heart and trembling body.
A few minutes pass and I let myself out of the cubicle, going to the sinks, running cold water and splashing it on my face. I grab a couple of paper towels and pat my face dry before tossing them in the bin.