She shook her head and whispered, “No.” That one little word felt like being stabbed. Her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and crying, and I pictured Summer the same, waiting for us to find her. The remains of Dawn’s day-old makeup were smudged under her eyes and down her cheeks. “The police are starting a proper search today, though. They’ll find her.” She nodded her head as if she were telling herself the same thing, convincing herself.
“Right, I’m going,” Summer’s dad, Daniel, announced. He stopped as he saw me. “Oh, Lewis. Anything?” I shook my head. It was as if she just vanished. His shoulders were slumped, and from someone who was always strong and positive, it made me fear the worst. “I’ll be back later,” he said and gave Dawn a brief kiss on the cheek. He looked as exhausted as I felt.
“Are you hungry?” Dawn asked, staring into space. “Your mum’s making food. I don’t know what.”
“Thanks, Dawn,” Theo said. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen?” He led her through, wrapping his arm around her back to help her like she was a sick old lady.
I didn’t want to hang around. I just wanted to find out what the plan was and get back out there. Sitting around eating wasn’t going to get Summer back. “Theo, Lewis,” my mum gushed, throwing a tea towel down. “Sit, sit.”
“Thanks for cooking, Emma,” Dawn said. Mum smiled sadly, her eyes showing how scared she was.
“I don’t want to sit. I just want to know what I should be doing. Is someone coming to sort a proper search out yet?” I asked. Surely the police had a plan rather than just sending everyone out looking randomly?
“They’ve already been, sweetheart,” Mum replied. “They’re starting with a thorough search of the area they believe Summer was last—”
“How do they know that?”
“Know what?
I sighed in frustration. “Where she last was?”
Mum shrugged. “I’m not sure, a combination of the direction she went in, where a young girl would go, and how long it was before Kerri called her and noticed she wasn’t answering to work out how far away she was likely to be. I don’t know exactly.”
“So they’re just guessing? They don’t even know Summer and they’re guessing where she was likely to go?”
“Lewis, calm down,” Theo ordered.
“No. Fuck this!” They didn’t have a clue and now Summer could be anywhere.
I stormed out of the house. I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to get out. My girlfriend was missing, and I had no clue where she was or how to find her. And it didn’t seem like the police had the slightest clue where to start either.
“Lewis!” Theo shouted. I heard his footsteps getting louder, so I knew he was following me too. “Wait up.” He grabbed the top of my arm and swung me around. “You can’t just go running off. Look, I’m going to the town hall, that’s where the search is based. Come with me and we can ask as many questions as you have before we get back out there.”
I sighed and ran my hand over my face. “Theo, what if she’s…” Dead.
“Don’t. She’s not; she’s fine.”
“You don’t know that!” I exclaimed. My heart was racing. “It’s been hours, and no one’s heard from her. She never goes off and—”
“Lewis, stop. This isn’t helping Summer, is it? She needs you, so quit the bullshit and do something to help her.”
He was right. I nodded. My eyes stung but I refused to cry. I needed to be strong for her and falling apart now wouldn’t get her back. “You’re right.” I sighed and my heart dropped. “I just can’t lose her,” I whispered. As cheesy as it sounded, my biggest fear was losing Summer—in any way. I loved her.
“Let’s go.”
Theo smiled and unlocked his car. “Here.” He handed me something wrapped up in a paper towel. A bacon bagel. “Eat.” I got in the passenger side and forced myself to eat. Every bite made me want to hurl, but Theo was right—Summer needed me—and I had to be strong for her. I was no good if I was a mess.
“She’s okay, isn’t she?”
Theo nodded. “She’ll be fine.” She’ll be fine. He didn’t think she was fine now, but she would be when we found her? I should be able to tell where she was. I love her, so shouldn’t I just know what was wrong? Where are you, Sum?
We pulled into a tight parking space at the hall, the only one left. The place was full. Were all those people here to help?
The main hall was heaving with people. Right at the front was a long table stacked with maps, bottles of water, and high-visibility vests. Where did all that come from? A picture of Summer was pinned to a board beside the table. The world stopped spinning. I took a deep breath and walked toward the police officers.
Above Summer’s picture were the words: MISSING 16-YEAR-OLD SUMMER ROBINSON.
5
SUMMER
Sunday, July 25th (Present)
I pushed myself up and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I wasn’t home; I was still in that bedroom. Why couldn’t I just wake up properly? All I wanted to do was to be at home with the family that drove me crazy most of the time. I wouldn’t even complain about Henry running to the bathroom before me or my dad’s crappy attempts at giving me a curfew.
“Good morning, Lily,” Rose said from the bed opposite mine. Good morning my arse. This was a morning from a nightmare—one that I couldn’t wake up from.
I attempted to smile but I was sure my mouth didn’t even move. What happened now? What was I supposed to do today? I wanted to say something to Rose, maybe ask her, but I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. I kind of felt like this wasn’t happening to me, like I was in a dream or a movie.
Rose smiled in sympathy and opened the single-width wardrobe beside me. “Here, you can borrow some clothes until Clover gets you some new things.”
The blood drained from my face. Rose laid a pair of jeans and an oversized lilac sweater on the bed. I shook my head. How could she expect me to wear the clothes of a girl that had been murdered down here—the Lily before me “No,” I whispered. “I can’t.” I wasn’t going to walk around in a dead girl’s clothes.
“These are all we have.”
“You get used to it,” Violet said, holding her own similar outfit in her hand. We all color matched. The tops were slightly different but the same color. We were like a lame group of friends at school that thought it was cool to have matching days. I felt like we should start braiding each other’s hair and talk about dreamy boys.
“Okay, I’m going to have a shower. Poppy and Violet, can you explain to Lily, please?” Rose said and picked up her clothes and a towel. Explain what? I doubt I wanted to know.
They waited until Rose left and then sat on my bed. “The morning routine,” Poppy said, brushing her dark red, almost brown hair. “We need to take a shower and be ready by eight, every morning. That’s when Clover comes down for breakfast.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “What? We have to dress up for him?” This was too crazy to be real. “The bloody psycho.”