When my tears had dried up and my head felt like it was going to explode, I forced myself to get out of the shower and get dressed. Crying wasn’t going to get me anywhere, and I didn’t want any more attention than I was already getting. I wrapped the fluffy towel tightly around myself—it smelled fresh, like it was just out of the washer—and opened the bathroom cabinet. I noticed straight away that there were no razors—in their place were two pink boxes of waxing strips. Nothing in the cabinet could cause any damage—to anyone.
Closing the door, I made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror screwed to the front of the cabinet. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. I looked like I had been in a scrap with a cage fighter. I spun around, not wanting to see how awful I looked any longer, and pulled on someone else’s pajamas.
“Are you ready for bed?” Rose asked as I walked back into the room. I nodded in response and wrapped my arms around myself. “Okay, I’ll show you where you’ll sleep.” She led me into the room beside the bathroom. The walls were painted light pink and the furniture was all white. There were four single beds with pink quilt covers and pillows. On the bedside tables were identical light pink lamps. It all matched too well, like it was decorated for quadruplets. “This one is yours,” she said and pointed to the bed against the wall on the left. Mine. I had a bed. This was supposed to be home.
I was too exhausted to argue, so I numbly walked over to the bed and climbed under the cover. Closing my eyes, I prayed sleep would come soon and take me away from here, and that when I woke up I would be in my own room.
4
LEWIS
Sunday, 25th July (Present)
Missing. I repeated the word over and over in my head. Lewis, we need to go now. Summer’s missing. That was what Henry said. His face was pale as he explained that his sister—my girlfriend—hadn’t been seen for hours.
It was almost three o’clock in the morning, and we had been driving around and looking by foot for four hours. Summer didn’t go missing. The longest she’s gone without anyone being able to see or hear her was the ten minutes it took for her to shower. I couldn’t think of a single reason why she would take off and not tell anyone.
My brother, Theo, drove slowly through the streets. In any other situation, I would be shouting at him to put his foot down or let me drive. Now I wanted to tell him to go even slower. It was pitch-black out and the dim streetlights barely lit any of the bloody ground below them. We could have missed her a thousand times because we couldn’t see properly, but I couldn’t go home and do nothing like my parents suggested. Sitting and waiting would drive me mad.
“Lewis, you okay?” Theo asked again. That same stupid question was shot at me about every ten minutes. What did he think? Of course I’m not fucking okay!
“No,” I mumbled. Where was she? Summer didn’t run off; she wasn’t the type of person to run from anything. She was strong-willed and stubborn. I couldn’t even argue with her properly because she would sit on my bed and tell me to calm down so we could talk and sort it out. She dealt with problems straight on—it was what I both loved and hated about her. Sometimes I just wanted to be pissed off, but she made sure we fixed it.
“We’ll find her, bro.”
“Yeah.” I agreed with him but I wasn’t so sure. I hoped we would more than anything, but I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t go away. Something definitely wasn’t right. “She could be anywhere by now.” It had been over seven hours since she was last seen, and since then, absolutely nothing. It was as if she’d just vanished.
“Summer wouldn’t run off,” Theo said.
My heart dropped to my feet. I know. “That’s what I’m afraid of. She wouldn’t run off…someone must have taken her.”
“Don’t do that, Lewis. Look, we don’t know anything yet.” He was right; I didn’t know for sure. But I did know Summer. “Do you want to carry on and go into town or turn back and go the other way?”
“Other way.” Kerri’d said Summer had turned left at the club. We had checked there before coming this way, but we could have missed something. Double-checking couldn’t hurt. Jesus, triple-checking couldn’t hurt. I wanted to search every inch of the town ten times so I knew for sure I hadn’t missed anything.
The police had people out looking around the area where she was last seen, but because it hadn’t been over twenty-four hours, they were reluctant to put too many officers into it. I had never been so damn angry as I was when I found out they were waiting twenty-four hours when she could be anywhere, going through fuck knows what, before they would take it seriously.
Apparently a bunch of our neighbors had started their own search and were going door to door, hoping that someone had seen something. They knew Summer; they knew she wouldn’t run away. Everyone I knew, except Summer’s mum, was out looking. Dawn was told to stay home in case Sum turned up or called. I wouldn’t want to be in her position.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked it for the millionth time—no missed calls. I sighed and held down number 2—speed-dialing her phone again. It started to ring, like it did before, and I held my breath. Please answer, baby. Her voice filled the car, her voice mail told everyone to leave a message and if you were Channing Tatum, yes, she would marry you.
“Babe, please call me back the second you get this. I just need to know you’re okay. I’m going crazy here. I love you, Sum.” I hung up and clenched the phone in my hand. This is bad.
We drove through the night and into the early morning. My eyes stung from being so tired. As soon as the stores opened, Theo bought some food and energy drinks. I hadn’t been home since we got that call at the nightclub, so I was still in my jeans and shirt.
“I’ll pull over here and we can check the back fields and the park by foot,” I told Theo.
He nodded, stuffing the last of his sandwich into his mouth. “You sure you don’t want anything to eat?”
I shook my head as I pulled up in the parking lot beside the church. “Not hungry. Let’s try the park first.” He got out of the car and headed over to the gate. I followed, quickly overtaking him. “Summer,” I called out. Of course, she wasn’t going to be here. If she were, she would have been found by now. “Come on, Theo,” I shouted over my shoulder. He didn’t seem to have the urgency I had, but then, he wasn’t in love with her.
With every passing minute she was missing, I was even more lost. I felt sick and my heart wouldn’t fucking slow down. I had no clue what the hell I was going to do if anything had happened to her. “Lewis,” Theo said, “what about down there?”
I looked to where he was pointing. The overgrown footpath that ran beside the park and between acres of farmland and fields. I nodded and headed that way. Worth a shot—anything, anywhere was worth a shot. The park had been searched a lot, but the overgrown path wouldn’t have been searched thoroughly enough in the dark. Whatever happened, I wasn’t giving up until we had her back.
***
“Anything?” I asked Dawn as I walked through the door. We had found nothing. No trace at all—all my hope was pinned on her.