“Nothing.” I set my sketchbook aside and join her on the bed. “You’ve just gotten close to them since all of this happened.”
“Close?” She raises an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t call us close. I’m tolerating their existence for your sake, Sophie.”
“Just tolerating?” I tease. I’ve seen how she’s interacted with them the past few times we’ve all been together, and I wouldn’t call it tolerating. “I’ve seen you give them shit, and they give it right back. But it doesn’t feel like it did last semester. From what Elias has said, it sounds like all of you guys bonded a little bit at the hospital when I was sleeping,” I say with a laugh.
She punches my leg playfully. “Eh. We bonded over our worry for you. Not over anything else.”
I give her another look. “You sure about that? You almost looked like you were having fun with them.”
“Fine,” she says, giving in to my teasing. “I’ll admit they aren’t that bad. But only because I’ve seen how much they’re taking care of you, and no matter how big of assholes they were in the past, I can’t shake the feeling that this… this is real.”
She’s not alone on that.
Because I can’t shake the feeling either. This is something more.
A few more days go by, and I start to feel like I’m completely recovered.
My memory of the night of my fall is still fuzzy, but last night as I was falling asleep, I almost thought I could remember some of the moments leading up to it… or at least going to the party.
I remember what I was wearing, remember getting dressed in my dorm room. I remember Gray picking me up, and his hands and mouth on me as he kissed me outside my dorm room door. Right about there, everything starts to become static again.
Or, hell, maybe my mind just invented all of that stuff. I should ask him what happened when he picked me up and see if I’m anywhere close to the truth. He can tell me if it’s just a false memory I’ve made up in my desperation to fill in the blanks, or if my memory might actually be coming back.
And if that memory is accurate, maybe more will follow it. Maybe it’ll all come back.
The thought makes excitement bloom in my chest, but I quickly push it down. I’m not one to get my hopes up with stupid thoughts like that. I believe in reality, not in hopeful what ifs and maybes.
The smooth floor is cool on my bare feet as I head down the stairs, my stomach grumbling.
It took me a couple days of wandering around and getting lost to figure out the layout of Gray’s house, but I think I’m starting to get the hang of it. Mainly, I stick to three main rooms and the paths between them—my room to the kitchen, my room to the family room, and my room to the bathroom. The house is massive, and I haven’t even been in half of it.
I’m not even sure where Gray’s room is, I think, stepping into the kitchen.
Since I arrived here—five days ago now—I’ve spent plenty of time with him. But beyond our kiss that first day, he hasn’t really touched me.
Not quite how I imagined we’d be spending our week together, that’s for fucking sure.
I get the feeling that Gray is holding back.
Not holding back because he doesn’t trust me… but because he doesn’t trust himself with me. Like he’s afraid he’ll break me if he touches me.
Fuck. He of all people should know I don’t break that easily.
And living in the same house as him, knowing he’s under the same roof as me, just down the hallway? It’s driving me crazy, lighting my whole body up with need. A fall down the stairs and a few days in the hospital haven’t taken away the memories of every second Gray and I have spent connected, both mind and body.
But especially body.
My toes curl a little as I try to shove away images of all the places his mouth has touched my skin, the tips of his fingers, his body—but those images are forever seared into my mind, a visceral feeling that follows me in my dreams, my thoughts.
Reaching up into the cupboard above the fruit basket, I grab a coffee mug for myself, then one of the fancy as shit K-Cups that are surprisingly delicious. Popping it in the machine, I wait for my coffee to brew, watching the steam rise up from the mug as the kitchen fills with an enticing coffee scent. Gray’s family also has an espresso machine, but that looks super expensive and confusing. I saw Gray use it once, but I’m not sure I trust myself not to break it.
Once my coffee finishes brewing, I grab the mug and settle into one of the barstools, taking a cautious sip of the steaming liquid.
There’s a quiet noise behind me, and I turn around as Gray walks into the kitchen.
I try not to stare, I really fucking do. But he’s wearing a pair of gray sweatpants that seem to be a cue for my hormones to pick up, no matter how much I want to resist. They hang on his hips just right, and the white t-shirt he wears frames his arms perfectly.
I put the mug back up to my lips and take another sip, turning around before he can see the grin that’s creeping across my face. To my surprise though, instead of heading to the machine to brew his own morning coffee like he usually does, he pulls out the barstool next to me and sits down, his knee brushing against my thigh.
“Good morning, Sparrow,” he says quietly. I glance over at him, unable to help myself. When he has my attention, he holds out a small black box with a little bow tied around it, and my heart does a sudden thud-thud in my chest. “I got something for you.”
My gaze jumps from the box to him, then back to the box. I’m not sure what to do. I want to take it from him, but I can’t.
“What?” I ask, clenching the coffee mug in my hands a little tighter, like I might drop it if I’m not careful.
“Take it.” A small smile tilts his lips. “It’s Christmas. It’s a gift.”
Christmas. Gift.
Somehow, although I’m not really sure I’m doing it until the box is in my hands, I reach out and take it from him. I completely forgot about the holiday, and even if I hadn’t, I wasn’t expecting anything.
I can’t remember the last time I got a Christmas gift from someone. Maybe I did when I was younger, even though I can’t remember it. Kids get Christmas gifts. Not rebellious foster teens who bounce from house to house without ever putting down roots.
I must speak some part of my thoughts out loud, because Gray says, “Everyone deserves a Christmas gift. Open it. I promise it won’t bite.”
When I meet his gaze, my throat is tight. I don’t know if he fully understands what this means to me. Gray has probably gotten dozens of Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, and gifts in general. Me? This shit makes me almost want to cry, in a good way. Which is almost worse than crying in a bad way.
With trembling hands, I thumb aside the ribbon and open up the box. Set on a bed of silk is a beautiful little necklace made of gold and the daintiest heart set with diamonds. The little stones reflect the sunlight that pours in through the kitchen window, and I can tell this isn’t just something he picked up from the local mall. It’s expensive, but not in a way that makes my skin crawl.
“Gray, this is…” I look up at him, my voice faltering. “This is beautiful. Thank you.”
I’m almost afraid I’ll break it as I pull the little chain out of the box to take a better look at it. We never really talked about Christmas, or if we were doing anything for it. It completely slipped my mind because I’ve gotten so used to not celebrating the holidays—actively ignoring them most of the time.