The joint slips from between my fingers, dropping onto that pretty elite rooftop garden below us, but I don’t give a shit. Not when Declan’s fingers are sliding through my hair, pulling me closer. Not when he kisses me so deeply that I feel like I’m falling.
When we finally break apart, a small laugh escapes his lips, his exhale ghosting over my skin as his thumbs brush over my cheekbones.
“I’m glad you came here, Soph. To Hawthorne.” His voice is raw and vulnerable, so full of honesty that it makes my heart stutter. He’s not trying to hide anything, not trying to lie to himself or me about the way this is making him feel. “I’m glad as hell I met you.”
Little flecks of lighter shades in his dark brown eyes gleam in the light as the sun filters down on us. My whole body feels like it’s buzzing, like I’m floating somewhere happy, safe.
“Me too.”
With that quiet admission, I pull away from him and rest my head on his shoulder, the woodsy, warm scent that I’ve come to associate only with Declan still lingering in my nostrils.
I’ve been alone for so long that it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I have four people, Max and the guys, who seem to feel something for me other than disgust or hate.
All my life, I’ve never known what it was like to be cared for, and now…
Don’t get used to it, I tell myself. Nothing lasts forever.
4
“Pack your bags, bitch. You’re getting out.”
I laugh at Max’s dramatic declaration as she swings my door wide open. I had a restless night last night, waking up twice from dreams I couldn’t remember. After the second one, I fell back to sleep replaying my moment with Declan on the roof, and no more nightmares disturbed me.
“Thank fuck,” I mutter, and now it’s Max’s turn to laugh.
Unfortunately, I have to go through a few more ridiculous health checks, as if the doctors are afraid I’ve suddenly grown a tumor overnight or something. I put up with them and go along with everything Doctor Cohen asks of me to get it over with as quickly as possible.
Stepping through the sliding glass doors feels amazing, and even though I’m still walking with a slight limp, I start to make a beeline toward Max’s beat-up old car the second I spot it in the parking lot.
“Uh, no. Not that way.”
To my surprise, she steers us away from the car and into another section of the parking lot. Maybe it’s just the stir-craziness that’s been keeping me on high alert, but my heart jumps to my throat when we don’t get in the damn car. I’m ready to get home.
“Where are we going?” I ask, leaning on her a little. My ankle is mostly better, but everything is still sore. I have a feeling it’s going to be like that until I get back into my own bed and get a solid three days’ worth of sleep. “Your car’s back there.”
She glances at me, cocking an eyebrow. “Yeah, but the guys are this way.”
Sure enough, when I look up, I catch sight of all three of the Sinners lounging against a car that’s much nicer than Max’s.
“They wouldn’t let me drive you,” she explains. “Gray seems to think my car is a death trap just because it’s not a luxury model. It’s a beater, but it still fucking runs.” She rolls her eyes. “So since I won’t get to do that part, I got to be the one to help you check out of the hospital. Fair’s fair.”
There’s something in the way that she says it that makes me think there was definitely a little bit of an argument about who gets to do what, and I try not to laugh thinking about Max going up against the Sinners. They’re lucky they still have their balls.
“Hey, Blue,” Elias says with a flirtatious grin as Max and I near the car. “Good to see you out of that room.”
“Good to be out of that room,” I say flatly. “Don’t ever let me fall down another flight of stairs again.”
It’s meant as a joke, but I don’t miss the way Gray’s eyes darken or the way Declan bristles. Even Elias drops the flirty smile. No one finds what happened to me particularly funny, especially since we don’t know for sure if it was an accident or if it was done on purpose. I’ve got a lot of enemies at Hawthorne—not because I came to the school looking for a fight, but because some of the students are spoiled, entitled assholes who couldn’t seem to handle the concept of just letting me live my life.
I once thought Gray was one of those people, until I found out about his sister’s death. It doesn’t excuse any of the shit he put me through, but at least it gives his actions some context. Grief makes people do some fucked up things.
“It won’t happen again,” Gray mutters, his expression hardening for a moment before smoothing out. “And to answer your question, we decided it would be best if you stayed at my place for the rest of winter break.” He gestures to the other Sinners. “None of us will be staying on campus, and we want to make sure someone can keep an eye on you until you’re back at one hundred percent.”
“Which will be soon,” Elias adds, his eternal optimism shining through.
“My parents aren’t home,” Gray continues. “My dad is on a business trip in Hong Kong, and my mom went with him. They’ll be gone for the next two weeks.”
It strikes me as a little sad that his parents just left him alone for the holidays. Not that I’ve ever had family to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving or any holidays with, but I’m a foster kid with a shitty past. I sort of assumed that kids who grew up with luxury and privilege would have families who cared about them and spent time with them, but that’s obviously not always the case.
“What about my stuff?” I ask, still trying to process what this actually means.
Winter break with Gray? At his house?
I’ve already spent a week of our break in the hospital, but there’s over a week left before classes start back up for spring semester.
When I meet his gaze, my stomach flutters a little bit.
An entire week with Gray. In his house. No school or other things to distract us.
“I packed up a bag for you.” Max pipes up, bringing me back to the present. “It’s already in the back of Gray’s car, and if you need anything, we can go to the school together and get it eventually. I don’t think you will though, I got basically everything I see you with on a daily basis.”
I find myself agreeing with the plan, even though it’s the last thing I expected. All I really planned on doing was going back home to my dorm and hunkering down for the next week with my paints and my thoughts, not spending the holidays with Gray.
It doesn’t fully sink in that this is really happening until I’m saying my goodbyes to Max and promising to text her once I’m settled in. She’s the only one who is staying on campus over the holiday, and she’s already made it clear that she’ll be coming over to Gray’s place often to check up on me.
Elias pulls me into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of my head and squeezing me gently. Then Declan draws me into his arms too, flicking a glance at Gray as if daring him to say anything. He doesn’t though, just watches us with an unreadable expression as he leans against his car, arms crossed and keys dangling from his fingers.