* * *
I throw myself on my bed. I don’t like arguing with my parents, but this time was worth it. It feels like I’ve taken a heavy weight off my shoulders. I live my whole life pretending I can’t feel people’s every reaction—and this is one less secret that I have to keep.
I let my mind wander and I find myself thinking of my encounter with Adam. I felt vulnerable, not knowing what was going on inside him. I have been relying on my ability for so long; it scares me, the emptiness that comes with not empathizing with another human.
If I can’t read him, I won’t know what type of person he is—he is rude and cocky, sure, I don’t need to see through him to know that, but it would help to know why. If I could read him, I would’ve had an idea of what he was thinking. If he acts rude and feels pleasure about it, that means he’s one sick bastard. Sometimes, people act rude out of anger, sadness or insecurity. That could make him a different person entirely, though I doubt that lack of confidence is his problem. He seemed way too self-confident.
He was very good-looking, I’ll give him that. His skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, and not to mention his eyes. I’ve never felt such penetrating eyes on me before—windows to the soul that were as dark as his emotions. The thought of it makes me shiver.
I’ve always been proud of myself for never letting guys fool me, but I’ve always known their intentions, the kind of person they were. With Adam, I can only see what is on the outside. Reduced to the limitations of any normal person, I’m left wondering: how does anyone ever learn to trust?
4 Adam
“Come on, Adam; tell me what she looks like. I heard she’s really pretty.”
Brianna is starting to annoy me with her questions about the new girl in town. I should’ve known better than to mention I saw her at the lake earlier today.
“She’s different. Happy now?”
“You gotta give me more than that. Describe her to me.” She sits on top of the pool table, not allowing us to play until she gets her answers.
“Not on the table, Bri! Get down.” Matt complains.
“Not ’til Adam answers me.” Brianna rests her chin on her hand and smiles.
Matt gives me a look. “Please, man, she isn’t giving up.”
“Fine! Nice skin, long black hair, blue eyes.” I try to sound casual, I can’t let her know that the girl has gotten my attention; she might try to play matchmaker or something.
Brianna and I are good friends—we have been friends since we were babies. However, Brianna loves gossip and romance and all the related drama, and I’m not into that crap. I just need to learn how to keep my mouth shut.
“What’s her personality like?” Brianna insists. I give her an irritated look. “I just want to know if she and I can be friends, you know, or if she’s like Lindsay.”
Definitely not like Lindsay. Livia didn’t even look at me twice, while I had Lindsay at hello.
Brianna is not a fan of Lindsay. They are very different from one another, and Bri can only stand her for a short period of time. She has to play nice since they are in the cheer squad together. Bri has it down to an art: putting up with someone she’s forced to live next to. I’m hoping I won’t have to learn the same lesson, living next to a girl who waltzes onto my property; I don’t like the idea of having to share my lake.
“I don’t know. I only talked to her for two seconds.”
“I see.” She narrows her eyes at me. “I bet you threw your charms at her, but she didn’t buy it. Looks like someone finally has you all figured out.” She laughs. The problem is Bri knows me all too well.
“That’s enough, Bri,” Matt says, picking her up and taking her to the couch.
“Just so you know, Adam,” she says, “Kyle met her this morning and invited her to the party tomorrow. I’d say he has dibs on her!”
I shake my head, laughing to myself. “He can have her! It’s not like we’re going to be friends, anyway. I had to kick her out of my lake. She wasn’t too happy.”
We play a couple rounds of pool and Brianna watches TV. Matt’s parents are out of town. They always take a trip to Hawaii this time of the year. Matt stays behind, and we throw a huge party at his house, something we’ve been doing since sophomore year; so far, his parents either haven’t found out or they don’t really care.
As I’m about to strike the ball, there’s a loud noise outside.
“What the heck was that?” Brianna gets off of the couch and runs for the door.
“Wait up, Bri!” Matt grabs one of the pool cues before he follows.
“There’s someone outside,” she says, peering out through the big vertical blinds.
“Stay here. I’ll go check,” I say, taking Matt’s cue and heading outside. Though Matt has no idea, I know that, of the two of us, I’m the better one in a fight
I open the door to find Lindsay and her two friends, Amber and Stacy, giggling outside.
“What the hell!” I shout, going from curious to completely pissed off in about point-three seconds. The last person I wanted to see today was Lindsay. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk to Brianna,” says Lindsay, her voice already getting under my skin. “I thought she might be here.”
“I’m here!” Bri sidles past me and walks out the door. “What are you girls laughing about?”
They’re all staring at Matt and me.
“Can you boys give us some privacy, please?” Amber says.
Matt rolls his eyes and walks back inside; I follow him, shutting the door behind me. We try to listen, but they’re whispering and we can’t hear anything.
“What do you think they’re saying?” Matt asks with his ear to the doorframe.
“Who cares, man? Something stupid for all I know. Nothing intelligent comes out of Lindsay’s mouth.” I make my way back to the couch. Matt’s curiosity keeps him glued to the door.
I really don’t care what they are talking about, but I do care that Lindsay is here. I do not want to deal with her again. Four months ago, I was hoping she would show up everywhere I went. I did care for her—that was, until I saw her for what she truly is. Now, I wish she would fall off the face of the earth.
Brianna opens the door and they all come inside, laughing. It must have been a good joke, because Bri’s face is red.
“Are you going to share the joke?” Matt asks her.
“Oh, it’s not a joke, and I can’t share it.” She’s holding in another laugh.
“Whatever, Bri.” Matt is clearly not happy with his girlfriend’s secret. “Are you girls staying? We’re going to watch a movie.” Matt sits next to me, and everyone piles in.
“Actually, I’m leaving.”
The girls look a little taken aback, but Matt glances at me and presses his lips together. He doesn’t say anything; he knows why I can’t stay.
I leave the house with a semi-enthusiastic, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”
As I’m getting in my Jeep, I hear Lindsay calling for me. I turn around and I see her approaching. “Hey,” she says. “Can we talk?”