I was moments away from leaving the bathroom when I heard my dad yell to my mum.
‘Cait?’ he called out. ‘Cait!’
‘What?’ she yelled back.
‘You forgot to make my lunch, and I’ve got no time to wait,’ he said, followed by the sound of her footsteps down the stairs.
‘No, I didn’t. I made you a chicken and bacon sandwich and left it there with the others.’ She was downstairs in the kitchen now as I spied through the gap in the door.
‘Well, it’s not here.’ He held up the empty box, ‘I’m just gonna take Finn’s…I don’t have time to wait.’
‘Jack, just give me a few minutes,’ Mum said as she brushed the hair away from her face in a huff.
‘Cait, you know I prefer to drive when the roads are clear. It’s fine, this will do,’ he said shoving my lunch into his backpack and without another word, he placed a rough kiss on Mum’s cheek and walked out of the house. Mum’s forehead wrinkled as she checked the empty box.
‘Mummy,’ Maia whined from the top of the stairs soaking wet.
‘Maia, get back in the bloody shower,’ Mum yelled running up the stairs.
I opened the door, looking at the two lunch boxes left on the side. Of course, he’d taken my lunch. He wouldn’t dream of making Theo go without. I sighed and shook my head as I went back upstairs to my room wishing it was Friday afternoon already.
An hour later and the house was just as chaotic with Mum running around getting Maia ready for school. Maia was clearly as excited as I was about starting at a new place though she would soon settle once she made new friends.
‘Ok, kids, grab your lunches and get into the car before we’re late,’ Mum said checking her watch three times in as many minutes as I pulled on my black hoodie.
‘Mum, where’s my lunch?’ I said staring at her while both Theo and Maia took their boxes. Of course, I knew where it was, but I wanted to remind her she had again forgotten about me.
‘Oh, crap! Your dad took it…Let me quickly make you something now.’
I sighed. ‘It’s fine. I’m not hungry anyway.’ I walked past her and out of the kitchen.
‘Finn, you’ll be hungry later. It’ll just take me a few minutes,’ she said, but I ignored her and left the house for the car instead.
As we began our journey to our new school, I kept my eyes on the streets outside, trying to distract myself from the churning feeling in my stomach. The new town was a lot smaller than our old one. It was like someone had decided to place a few buildings in the middle of a valley and call it home. I could already tell it was the type of place where everyone knew each other from the waves they gave each other from across the street before stopping for a quick chat. Everything was clean too. No litter on the floor or graffiti on the walls. It was like everything was in HD with the colour of the trees and flowers looking impossibly bright.
As we pulled up outside the same building I had seen on the internet, I felt the strong burn of bile rise in my throat.
‘Ok, boys, have a good first day at school,’ Mum said before calling me back. ‘Here, get some lunch with this. I promise your lunch will be sorted for tomorrow.’
I took the money from her and stuffed it in my pocket as I mumbled a quick thanks.
Soon enough, she was gone, and I was left standing outside the school, avoiding eye contact with anyone that passed me.
My legs grew heavy as I urged myself to walk into the building filled with people chatting with each other. I sighed a relief once my eyes had found the sign for the school reception, and I quickly walked in and closed the door behind me.
‘Hello, you’re a new face!’ The woman behind the desk smiled at me revealing a set of the whitest teeth I had ever seen. They looked even more unsettling next to her bright pink lipstick.
‘I’m new,’ I said, handing her a signed letter Mum had given me earlier that morning.
‘Oh,’ she said scanning her eyes across it with her long, pink fingernail. ‘You’re Finn.’
I nodded.
‘I just met your brother, Theo. What a lovely, handsome boy he is. He’ll fit in perfectly here.’ She looked up at me, not finishing her sentence but I could have guessed what it would have been. ‘I’m sure you will too.’ She quickly added a fake smile as she handed me my class schedule.
‘Yeah, I’m sure I will,’ I said before leaving the reception not waiting for her directions on where to go.
I looked down at my schedule, finding my first class before I stumbled backwards from the weight of someone else crashing into me.
‘Hey,’ said a tall and stocky boy with a frown. ‘Watch where you’re going, you idiot.’
I stepped out of the way and closed my eyes for a split second.
Here we go again.
9
Ab
It was as everyone rushed out of the house, slamming doors behind them that I realised I had temporarily forgotten what silence was like. Over thirty years I had spent with it, and all it took was three days to make me forget. What I hadn’t forgotten was the plan I had come up with the night before. I was still feeling strong, especially after a quick chat with Maia as she got ready for school. I made sure to use barely any of the energy I already had, keeping it all locked away for this moment.
I approached the front door. The windowpane was no longer foggy with dirt and was now clean enough to see right through to the end of the drive without so much of a squint.
That was where I wanted to be—on the other side of the door and at the end of the drive. I would escape this house.
As my hand reached out for the handle, I wondered where I would go first. If I had learned anything in the last few days, it was that the world had become a different place. I no longer knew anything about it. I no longer knew what still existed, but despite all that, I knew that whatever the world was now, it had to be better than what this house could offer me.
The door handle unlocked under the careful pressure of my hand and once the door was wide open, I felt almost winded by the sight—by the possibilities. The world might have changed in the thirty-odd years, but this view hadn’t, albeit the front garden wasn’t looking so healthy these days with its unkempt bushes and overgrown grass.
This was it. I was going to leave this house for good.
I took a small step forward so that I was a mere few centimetres from the line that bordered the house and the garden. I was ready.
As I took a step forward, I felt myself crashing into something hard, but nothing was there. I tried again summoning more of my strength, but it was no use. I took several steps back, lining myself directly in front of the door. Maybe I needed to be quicker. I ran towards the door only to hit the invisible wall, sending me flying backwards. I tried over and over again, growing more and more frustrated until I landed on my backside shouting all kinds of obscenities at the stupid door.
Why couldn’t I just leave? Why was I stuck in this stupid place?
Once my tantrum had passed and I was back on my feet with the front door behind me, I looked around the house, hardly able to recognise it from the place it had been before. It seemed bigger and brighter, and even though it was now empty, life still beat through it. I had grown to hate this house after being stuck in it for so long, but seeing it like this forced me to remember a time when this house had been somewhere that I had loved to come. Huffing, I swatted away the memories and wandered the house, going into each room for a few seconds before leaving and going into the next.