Maybe I was fifty-one after all.
As Finn continued to scroll and sigh, I grew bored and began to walk out of the room when the bare floorboard beneath my feet creaked. I turned quickly to find Finn sat up looking right through me before darting his eyes around the dark room, using the laptop as a torch.
I didn’t move an inch, wishing ghosts really could float like they did in the cartoons Maia and I had watched. I could feel Finn’s fear as it became energy for me before he began to relax a little, closing his laptop shut and lying back down.
Quickly, I tiptoed out of the room without making another noise and reached the stairs with a big exhale.
Why was I so worried about making noise? Wasn’t that the plan?
‘You’re starting to really confuse me, AB,’ I said to myself before deciding whether I wanted to go to the library or go downstairs. I had been tempted to try out the big TV that now sat above the fireplace in the living room. I had watched Maia use the nine thousand TV controls that turned it all on, and frankly, if a five-year-old could do it, so could I. Tonight was the night.
As I reached the living room, I could hear the dog growling from behind the back door.
‘Shh,’ I said through gritted teeth, not wanting the stupid thing to ruin my TV night. Her growls only worsened once I looked out of the window at her.
‘Look, I’m not saying we have to be friends, but I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not doing yourself favours by barking at me all the time.’
It was starting to rain and, although she was covered and wouldn’t get wet, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. I sighed loudly. ‘Listen, pal, I’ll let you in, but if you bark, I’ll throw you far enough to land in that pond, understood?’
She had stopped growling and was now just sat staring up at me as I unlocked the door. She bolted right in and went straight into the kitchen. I followed her, finding her stood by her empty bowl giving me a look that said, ‘Food. Now.’
‘Don’t look at me like that.’ I frowned before noticing containers of food left on the kitchen side—all labelled with names.
‘Hmm,’ I said finding one belonging to Jack with food wrapped in foil.
I looked back down at the dog now sat at my feet waiting for me to reveal the food.
‘Fine, but I never want to hear you bark at me ever again,’ I said, unwrapping the sandwich to find it stuffed with chicken and bacon then placed it in front of the dog. I stood and watched for a few moments as she dug into the bread before walking back into the living room, hopping over the sofa and landing perfectly on the other side.
‘Ok, let’s see if we got this,’ I said, pressing the red buttons on both controllers before holding onto the volume button with a vengeance not wanting it to wake someone and have them ruin my evening. Scrolling through the unlimited choices, I finally settled for a film called The Notebook after reading the catchy taglines of ‘must-watch’, and ‘best film you’ll ever watch’. As I settled cosily into the mountains of pillows amazed by the clearness and colour of the screen, Mitzi jumped up beside me, and after a few circles, laid down in the arch of my legs.
‘A sandwich was all you needed.’ I rolled my eyes but didn’t move her away.
Two hours later, and I was in the same spot staring at the titles scroll on the screen, sobbing.
‘Who on earth would choose to watch a film like that?’ I said to the sleeping dog before hearing footsteps behind me and feeling a surge of energy. It was the kind I had received from the visits before Finn and his family had moved in. On top of the energy I already had, I felt beyond powerful.
‘Crap,’ I said as I found Finn staring at the TV with wide eyes. I could see him silently trying to rationalise what had happened. Could it have been his mum who had forgotten to turn off the TV? Or maybe the dog had accidentally knocked the controls? Eventually, he talked himself out of the fear enough to turn the TV off, grab himself a glass of water, and run up the stairs as if someone was about to reach out for his ankles.
I chuckled before taking the stairs back to the library where I would try to forget my heartbreak from The Notebook with a Harper Lee classic. As I reached the library to shut the door, I found Mitzi in front of me, waiting to be let in.
‘Really? You were growling at me a few hours ago and now we’re best friends?’ She flashed me her big eyes, and I couldn’t help it.
‘Fine.’ I sighed as she walked in, and I closed the door.
As I stared down at the words in front of me, I became distracted by the strength I felt. I had never been this strong before. I could feel it pulsing through me, like threads of gold weaving inside of me. For years, I had spent every day using the little energy I had to do the most minimal of things but now I had an unlimited supply of it and could do whatever I wanted.
Things I was desperate to try years before.
I closed the book and rested it on the floor as I stood to look out of the arched window in front of me. In the darkness, I could see the endless rows of trees that made up the forest I used to explore during my living days. I ached to be out there again. I wanted to feel the breeze against me, I wanted to see the world in person and not from behind a pane of dirty glass.
There was a reason why I hadn’t scared off this new family yet despite having ample opportunities to do so. It wasn’t them that I wanted to leave—it was me. I wanted to be free again and surely now it was a possibility with the energy I had.
Mitzi appeared beside me as I pictured the moment that I would leave the house, free from the invisible shackles I had worn for over thirty years.
‘I have a plan, Mitzi. I am going to finally leave this house.’
8
Finn
Finn!’ Mum shouted as she banged on my door.
I jumped out of sleep and was hit with a wave of sickness.
‘Up. Now,’ Mum said again walking into my room with a red flustered face. She looked down at her feet where Mitzi was now licking a bleary-eyed Maia.
‘How did you get into the house?’ Mum said frowning down at the dog, ‘I bet your dad left the back door open.’ She sighed before going to knock on Theo’s door as he opened it.
Of course, he came out looking like he had been up for hours, sweating from his morning weights session. I hated thinking about it, but I wished I looked more like him. His body was literally no different to those you saw on football players and male Instagram models.
‘Morning, Mum,’ he said smiling at her before walking down the hallway out of sight.
‘Oh, Finn, I wish you wouldn’t stay up all night playing those games. Look at the bags under your eyes,’ Mum said trying to touch my face as I walked to the door, heading for the bathroom.
‘Sorry, sweetie, Theo got in there first. Why don’t you use the one in my bedroom, and we’ll use the one downstairs.’ She smiled as she took Maia’s hand.
‘Of course he did,’ I muttered as I ignored her and begun to walk down the stairs.
‘Come on, Maia, hopefully, you’re in a better mood than your big brother,’ Mum said behind me as I reached the downstairs bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me.
After using the toilet, I looked at my reflection and wondered if I should do something to my face, perhaps maybe even have another shower but instead, I grabbed one of Mum’s makeup wipes and quickly rubbed it against my face, secretly enjoying the floral smell.