“Right. Right.” And she realized that she was just standing there repeating herself, and felt vaguely idiotic.
His lips curved into a smile. It echoed inside her. “If you want to have a drink, that’s fine by me. We can stand here and exchange pleasantries for as long as you need to, but I feel like I need to make one thing perfectly clear—I aim to get you into bed tonight.”
Her knees nearly buckled. And somehow, she managed to remain standing.
“We don’t even know each other,” she said.
“We’ve known each other for six months.”
The truth of that burst in her chest. She had known him for six months. She might’ve seen him once, but she’d thought of him every night since.
And he felt confident enough in that to just say it. His confidence was intoxicating. An aphrodisiac and an inspiration. So she took a breath, and she decided she was going to practice that same amount of confidence. Because she wasn’t Mallory Chance tonight. She was a mystery woman with the mystery man. And there would be no consequences, no nothing from this.
This wasn’t anything.
And she... Didn’t even know what that was like.
She’d first slept with Jared to keep him with her. Had been consumed with the idea of impressing him. Had worried about what she looked like, what she’d done, what she’d acted like, nearly every time since.
Everything about sex with him had been complicated.
From the desire to use it to bond him to her, to the trauma that had come as a result, to the way she’d felt like...like she was constantly paying penance for what she’d put them both through. And in fairness to him, he hadn’t told her any of that. Had never said he needed it—as payment or anything else—it was just all this inadequacy in her.
Somehow, it had always been about him. About her desperate need to keep him with her.
But this was about her. Because she didn’t need to create any kind of feelings in him. He just felt them.
And if she felt a burning, bright piece of guilt embed itself in her heart, she decided to go ahead and ignore it.
Because it had been fifteen years, and maybe she could have something else. Something for her.
And no one ever had to know.
So she reached forward and put her hand on his chest. And her heart was slamming against her breastbone, heat igniting in her body as she made that first contact. And suddenly, he wrapped one strong arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his body. He was hard. And hot.
Everywhere.
And she felt like she was going to... To... No.
Standing there in the bar being held up against this stranger’s frame. She had never been this close to an orgasm this quickly in her entire life. Not ever.
“We can do a whole date if you need to,” he said, his voice rough. “I’ll buy you dinner. Whatever you need. Whatever it takes.”
“I don’t need that,” she whispered. “I don’t need a drink either.”
“I’ll pay the man,” he said. “We can be on our way.”
It was so casual, and at the same time, anything but. The tension vibrating beneath the words was radiant with heat. She wouldn’t have been surprised if it left visible waves.
“I have a motel room,” she said, her lips feeling numb, her tongue clumsy. “Just up the street. We can... We can go there. Now.”
She had never done anything like this in her life. It was reckless. Crazy. But, she was reasonably certain that he wouldn’t murder her, since he apparently came to this bar frequently enough that people would know him. And he came back to it. And... She should be fine. She was willing to excuse anything right now. Absolutely anything.
Whatever got her out of here. Whatever got her in his arms.
Because he was the reason. He was the reason she was here tonight. This was the reason.
Yes, the relationship with Jared had ended because of him. Because she had let it be exactly what it had always been. Had ignored the fact that she had changed and he hadn’t. While she’d built shrines to the relationship that she wished it were. While she honored an investment of time that truly wasn’t worth honoring. That only she cared about.
The truth was, his cheating had been the line in the sand. But there had been a moment right before that echoed in her head.
A birth for one of her clients.
The father on his phone, standing propped up against the wall while the woman was helped primarily by Mallory and her best friend.
I don’t know why she’s with him.
The friend had whispered that to Mallory when they’d taken a break and gone into the kitchen for a moment.
And Mallory had known.
She’d nearly defended it. Because without knowing the woman, she’d known.
And it had disturbed her down to her core.
It was why she’d had to be done. Just done when she’d discovered he’d been unfaithful while living with her. While sleeping in their bed.
And right now she not only felt resolute, but triumphant.
Because at the end of it all, she had a job that she loved, had a family that loved her and had what promised to be a night of incredible sex in front of her.
And Jared was just him. With no one to take care of him. A whiny manbaby who would have to find some other woman to foot the bill of his life. Because she wasn’t doing it anymore. She didn’t want to.
Her cowboy left a ten-dollar bill on the bar top and tipped his hat at the bartender, who waved slightly. And then, he wrapped his arm around Mallory’s waist and started to propel her toward the door.
And a whole bunch of worries and doubts started to crowd her throat, trying to make their way toward her mouth.
What if this just wasn’t actually that good?
Because that was the other thing. While a lot of her friends had engaged in one-night stands, they’d also said that the drawback to it was that the guy didn’t have to care about your pleasure, since he never had to see you again.
And she thought privately that the man she saw all the time didn’t care all that much about her pleasure.
That was the worry. The concern. She hadn’t been able to get to completion more than half the time with the man who actually knew her body. So... What hope did she have with a guy who didn’t know her at all?
What if he didn’t enjoy himself? What if it was all a whole lot of... Excitement and buildup, and then it was nothing.
But then she found herself outside, and very suddenly, pinned against the wall of the bar, just around the corner from Main Street, in a shadow, concealed from the streetlight. And he was right there, hard in front of her, his eyes glittering.