He remembered her. He remembered her. This man who had haunted her dreams—no, not haunted, created them. Had filled her mind with erotic imagery that had never existed there before, was... Talking about her. He was.
He thought of her. He remembered her.
“I was,” she said.
He looked behind her, then back at her. “Where’s the boyfriend?”
He asked the question with an edge of hostility. It made her shiver.
“Not here.”
“Good.” His lips tipped upward into a smile.
“I...” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to say, because this shimmering feeling inside of her was clearly, clearly shared and...
Suddenly her freedom felt terrifying. That freedom that had felt—only a moment before—exhilarating suddenly felt like too much. She wanted to hide. Wanted to scamper under the bar and get behind the barstool so that she could put something between herself and the electric man. She wondered if she was ready for this.
Because there was no question what this was.
One night.
With nothing at all between them. Nothing but unfamiliar motel bedsheets. A bed she’d never sleep in again and a man she would never sleep with again.
She understood that.
Any number of her friends had had those sort of experiences. And she never had.
It was such a funny thing. Because she had felt...
She’d felt lonely and wrong a lot of the time in her life. Not quite the golden boy her brother was, though her parents loved her, and she knew it. But she’d had to work to reach even a minimal standard. She hadn’t been popular at school. Hadn’t excelled at anything in particular.
She wasn’t conventionally pretty. Her hair was frizzy and a mousy brown color, her curves unremarkable as far as she was concerned. She had never been popular, but she had never been particularly alternative either.
She hadn’t had a big group of friends, until she’d started dating Jared at fifteen. And then suddenly it had changed. He had been fun and funny. He had a whole group of people who surrounded him.
And she’d been one of her first friends to lose her virginity.
She’d felt worldly and sophisticated. Special. Because she knew all about those things that transpired between men and women. It had caused a sort of rift between the old friends she’d had before beginning to date Jared, who were convinced that she was losing herself and her perspective.
She’d felt like she had gained perspective. She was in love and they didn’t understand. She was ready for deeper, more mature things than they were.
She’d kept it all a secret from her family. Carving out a division between her social life and the life she had at home. Trying to be perfect in every arena. Sexually experienced, confident Mallory at school. Studious and well-behaved Mallory at home, who might not be quite the all-star Griffin was, but who was self-sufficient, didn’t cause trouble and didn’t give her parents grief.
And then her world had caved in around her. And she’d still tried to keep everything separate.
The impending changes, the fear, then the overwhelming grief.
Only Jared knew. Only he had walked her through it. The course of her whole life had changed—her grades had suffered and her parents had been so disappointed when she’d missed getting into the school she’d wanted to get into.
Because her grades had slipped so much in her sophomore year of high school and had never recovered. And she’d never told them why.
But their disappointment over her not getting into the university she’d wanted, into deciding not to do medical school at all, had only confirmed her decision to keep her other transgressions from them.
But she’d found a purpose in training to be a midwife; she’d gotten a good position, earned good money. And Jared came along for the ride.
It was like everything had stalled out. Like she was still dating Jared in high school.
And her friends had gone on to have all these experiences that she’d never had. They’d left their hometown. They’d dated multiple men. Had one-night stands. Brief flings. Lived alone, lived with roommates, lived with boyfriends.
She’d lived with Jared.
In a house that she’d paid for.
And the sheets on that bed had been paid for by her.
And that was her experience. Her one and only experience.
This was an unknown. And it felt... Dangerous.
But then a surge of defiance shot through her. He didn’t know anything about her. And he didn’t have to. She never had to see this man again.
Apparently, you found him in this bar. And she didn’t need to go to it. Ever again.
She was here to start fresh. He didn’t know about her experience or her lack of it. Didn’t know that she wasn’t actually a sex goddess.
For whatever reason, he felt this. The chemistry. This pull between them. Because she knew it wasn’t about her being... The most beautiful woman in the room.
Not by half.
There were women in here that looked like they belonged between the pages of men’s magazines, and they hadn’t put on summer dresses to come out and have a drink. They were in painted-on jeans and skintight red dresses. Not flowing, sweet yellow frocks that fell down to their knees.
Some of them had big hair, but it was intentional. Not expanded from humidity and a general lack of knowledge on what to do with it, in spite of it having been on her head for the last thirty years. Their makeup was applied expertly, and not in the sparing manner that she’d used. Some sheer lip gloss, and a little bit of shiny stuff on her eyelids, because she just didn’t really know how to handle makeup, and it always made her feel like an imposter. And the one time she tried really hard to follow some kind of a tutorial, Jared had asked her what had happened to her face.
This man didn’t know any of that. And for whatever reason, he didn’t seem to see it. With Jared she’d always felt uncertain. Never sure if she felt more than he did. If she cared more. If the excitement that she felt when they’d kiss had been mostly weighted toward her. If the strongest feelings that existed were on her end. She was confident that he was feeling the same thing, this stranger. And she had never felt that kind of connection with another human being before. That kind of certainty.
The fire was in his belly too.
It was reflected there in those blue eyes.
And she knew.
“I just...I just ordered a drink,” she said. “You want a drink?”
His lips tipped upward. “I don’t need one.”
She shifted. Excitement blooming between her legs.