I closed my eyes as the car whizzed over the boundary, expecting a punch to the chest as the power keeping the taint caged slammed into me. Instead, my lungs grew tight and invisible arms wrapped around my waist, tugging me back against my seat.
The hold snapped a moment later as we crossed the boundary. I fell forward in my seat, gasping for air.
The car swerved and came to a halt. “Quinn, are you okay?” Dillon rubbed my back in small, soothing circles.
“Yeah. I’m okay, I’m fine.” I grinned up at him. “We made it.”
He grinned back, a boyish, carefree grin, before starting the engine. “Now let’s go free your father.”
DILLON
I hate lying to her. Pretending not to know what happened to her is hard. Tate has already filled me in on everything. Things not even Quinn knows yet, but I agree with him that telling her Lorenzo’s theory is a bad idea. I don’t believe the Mageri is wrong about the taint’s intentions toward Quinn, but I have faith that Quinn can fight the darkness that any changes in her might evoke.
Changes I can sense within her. A dark seed waiting to bloom. I don’t believe Quinn would ever hurt an innocent deliberately. I don’t believe she would ever be malicious and cruel, but that darkness is a part of her and so she has that potential. I’m just certain she can fight it.
Her heart is pure despite the sins she may believe she carries. Her guilt is proof of that.
I take my eyes off the empty road long enough to glance her way. She tears her gaze from the side window to catch mine with a smile.
“I’m okay,” she says.
I fix my gaze back on the road. “You know this is the farthest I’ve been from Hawthorne.”
“Really?”
“Yes, it’s…exciting.”
“Raventhorn territory is gorgeous. Lush and green and filled with life. Open plains, forests, and clean air.”
“It sounds beautiful.”
“It can be…for some…” She trails off and I risk another glance at her, noting the downturn to her mouth. “There are six packs that share the land, but the High Pack, Henrik’s pack, has the lion’s share. I used to wonder maybe if I’d been born in a different pack life would have been different, you know? Maybe they wouldn’t have treated me like an outsider just because I couldn’t shift. I made casual friends with a Lycan from another pack while at the ministry. She invited me to come stay at her home. My dad said no, but I begged and begged and finally he conceded as long as Tate went with me.”
“What happened?”
She sighs. “Turned out this girl only invited me to her pack to prove to her real friends that I existed. A Lycan that couldn’t shift. They thought I was a freak, all oohing and laughing at me. Tate was so mad. Yeah, after that I stuck to Swiftwood. Better the devil you know.”
Pontus’s rage burns my throat. I want to crush every Lycan who’s ever hurt her. My grip on the wheel tightens, but when I speak my tone is calm and completely Dillon. “Sometimes it takes time to find out where we belong.”
“Yeah…yeah, it does, and now I have the Faoladh, Tate, and you.” She beams at me. “I couldn’t be happier, if not for a psycho ancient evil mother who wants me to join her in all her evilness.”
Her tone is light, affecting humor, but she can’t hide the pain underlying her words. We’re connected, and I feel it acutely.
“She isn’t your mother, Quinn. She’s just a genetic donor.”
She’s silent for the longest time. “I’m not so sure, Dillon. There are things…Things I remember and…” She shakes her head. “Never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“My siren mother wanted me dead. She tried to kill me, which leaves only one conclusion.”
“What?”
“That the taint was the mother who sang me to sleep and read me stories. I think she might have been the mother who comforted me when I cut my knee. The one who baked cookies with me and sang silly songs.” Her voice thickens with emotion. “Dillon, I think…I think she might be the only mother I’ve ever known.”
Shit. I don’t know what to say because if that’s true, then this game the taint is playing is even more convoluted and sick than we could ever have imagined. “Quinn, listen to me. Whatever you remember is an act. That thing, that creature, can’t love. It can’t be a mother, not the way you remember. Not really.”
“I know. I just…It makes me so mad because if she was playing a part, it means I’ve been pining after a ghost.” Her voice breaks. “It means my childhood was a lie and I was raised by a monster, so what does that make me? What does it make me really?”
I pull the car over, cut the engine, and unclip my belt. “Come here.”
She looks down at my outstretched hands, then clambers over the seat and into my lap. I hold her and stroke her hair.
“You know who you are, Quinn, and the people who love you know it too. We aren’t defined by those who raise us. We’re defined by our actions. We’re defined by what we choose to do with our lives.”
Her hands slide up into my hair and my pulse quickens. “Why do you have to die?” Her words are a whisper against my neck. “I don’t want you to go.”
My chest aches, and in that moment, for the first time in forever, I want to stay. I exhale sharply. “Quinn.”
She pulls back so her face is mere inches from mine, lips so close that I can feel their imprint in the air between us.
“I feel you,” she says. “I can feel your warmth and your security. I can feel you inside my heart and I know that we could be…amazing, but if you’re set on being mortal, we don’t have much time.”
Her lips claim mine and the world falls away, leaving just the two of us, cocooned in the car with the rain beating down on us as we kiss slow and leisurely, as if we have all the time in the world. Her body softens, molding to mine, soft moans inflaming my desire until my arousal strains painfully against denim. She rubs up against me, breath quick and eager, kisses becoming punchier, demanding more.
I want to deepen the kiss, to find the silken skin beneath her clothes and taste the slick heat between her thighs. I want to bury myself in her and cement this bond in the most carnal way imaginable.
Fuck, I want more. I can take this to the back seat if I want. She wants me just as much as I want her. But now isn’t the time.
I hold back and ease off, slowing the pace, tasting her tongue with leisurely sweeps of my own, sucking on her bottom lip and dragging it between my teeth before opening her to me again until she relaxes against me, conceding that this is enough for now.
I’m not sure how long we kiss. I believe humans call it making out. But when we break apart it doesn’t feel like long enough.
She strokes my cheek, placing kisses on the corners of my mouth. “I’m sorry I smashed the friend zone.”
I close my eyes and drop my forehead to her cheek. “I’m not, Quinn. I’m not.”
4
QUINN
I’d kissed Dillon and now I couldn’t stop sneaking glances at him.
We’d stopped off for fuel a half hour ago. The rain had stopped, and the late afternoon sun cut a path through the sky, turning the world all hues of orange. I’d shamelessly ogled him as he walked to the station to pay after filling the tank. He was bigger and broader in his godly form beneath the waves, but as Dillon, his body had lithe, lean power. His sandy hair was tousled, giving him a carefree air, and the smile he’d aimed my way as he walked back to the car…That fucking smile made my insides all gooey just like the first time we’d met at Decker’s.