“Quinn not kill another innocent,” Emmit says. “No one manipulate her again. She not be tainted any more than already is. We keep her safe.”
“Which brings me to my next request,” Tate says. “Quinn needs to come live here with you guys.”
I nod. “Agreed. She’ll be safest here amongst the pack.”
“There’s one more thing,” Tate says.
“What?” What more can there be?
“We can’t tell her about this.”
I’m not on board with this plan. “She deserves to know what’s happening to her.”
“And then what?” Tate asks. “She panics, and begins to obsess over it? Have you ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy?”
That’s a valid point. If Quinn knows that her dark side has been activated and what the outcome will be if her taint side is fully woken, then the pressure, the worry, will make her obsess over it. It could leave her depressed and subconsciously believing there is no way out, and then…
I nod at Tate. “We tell her only what we have to, and in doing so we protect her from herself.”
“Dillon should know about this,” Jax says.
“I’ll speak to him,” Tate says.
He hurries away, shoulders drooping under the weight of the lies to come, the shadow of doom chasing his heels.
“I can’t lose her,” Jax says softly. “We have to keep her safe.”
“The only way to ensure that is to end the taint.”
Silence falls over us like a blanket because we all know how impossible that is. The taint exists as a shadow, a monster with no body of its own and hundreds of limbs buried in unwilling hosts. We can kill those hosts with a bite, but the puppet master will always remain.
That puppet master took my first mate. I won’t allow her to claim another.
2
QUINN
“Tate’ll be back soon.” Bea topped up my mug with fresh coffee. “Are you sure I can’t get you something to eat?”
The sun was up, the day had begun, and Tate wasn’t back or answering his phone. I couldn’t even think about food right now.
“I’m fine. Coffee is fine.”
She joined me at the island, taking the seat opposite me and propping her chin on her hand to study me shrewdly.
“Talk to me, Quinn.”
Her tone was so kind, so understanding, that I couldn’t help but well up. “Shit. Don’t be so nice, you’ll make me cry.”
“Oh, poppet.” She handed me a clean handkerchief that she seemed to pull out of thin air. “You’re allowed to cry.”
“I know, but it won’t change what I did.”
“And holding it in won’t change anything either. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
I loved her for not judging me, for not having a horrified look on her face when I’d told her what had happened with the human male and filled her in on my dream interaction with the taint. Instead, she’d been concerned for me, for my mental and emotional well-being. Her reaction had been a hug, one that had enfolded me in warmth, acceptance, and security.
Things I didn’t deserve.
“You’re a good person, Quinn,” Bea said. “Unfortunately, sometimes good people do bad things through no fault of their own. This was all Willow.” Her lip curled. “I had a bad feeling about her, I should have listened to my gut. I’m so sorry I failed to protect you from this.”
I reached out and clutched her hand. “It’s not your fault.”
“And it’s not yours either. We were all fooled by her.”
We lapsed into companionable silence, which I broke with a sigh. “Where is Tate?”
“Could he have gone to see the pack?” Bea asked.
Shit, why hadn’t I thought of that? I pulled out my phone to call Jax just as the patio doors slid open and Tate ducked into the kitchen.
Relief warred with irritation. “Where were you?” I didn’t mean to sound so much like a nagging girlfriend, but the dream lingered in my mind, leaving me agitated and antsy. “I was worried.” God, I sounded lame.
“I went for a walk.” Tate poured himself a coffee and joined me at the table. “I needed to think, and I’ve concluded that you should go stay with the pack. We should be proactive, not reactive.”
Bea let out a squeak of protest. “No. You can’t leave us.”
Tate frowned at her. “I need to speak to Quinn now, Bea. Alone.”
Bea pursed her lips, eyes narrowing to slits. “I don’t work for you.” She looked to me. “Quinn?”
I nodded. “It’s okay. Go.”
Her face fell but she vanished, leaving me with an icky feeling in my belly. I’d hurt her feelings, but this wasn’t something I could side with her on.
“Like I was saying,” Tate continued, “you need to stay with the pack.”
“Agreed.”
His brows shot up as if to say, that was easy.
The last thing I wanted was for him to think I was eager to be away from him. “The taint was in my dream, Tate. She can still get into my head. If I’m with the Faoladh, close to them, then maybe… I don’t know.”
He abandoned his coffee mug and sat forward. “What happened? What did she say?”
“She made me relive killing that man.” My throat pinched and I took a gulp of coffee. I guess it didn’t matter how many times I recounted this, it would still have an impact. “She told me I was like her and nothing I could do would change that. She said…She said eventually you’d all see it and abandon me, and she’d be the only one I could turn to.” I was paraphrasing but that was the general gist of it, and damn if it didn’t make my stomach hurt. “She wants me, but I don’t understand why.” I tapped the lip of my mug with a fingernail, a staccato rhythm that was almost soothing. “I’ve been sitting here thinking about it and it has to be something to do with my being a key. The Dagda said it…He said I was the key in the lock, and all she had to do was twist. I just don’t…I don’t understand how.”
He gently extricated my mug from my grip and took my hands in his. “I promise you, Quinn, we will figure this out. You don’t have to worry. Just enjoy your time with the pack and leave the worrying to me, okay?”
He sounded so confident and sure of himself the knots in my belly eased. “Thank you, babe. I needed to hear that, but realistically, what can we do? How do we stop her?”
“We show her that you’re loved, no matter what. That you’re protected and that nothing she says can change that. We keep our circle close and stick to those we trust.”
“Willow…”
He nodded. “Yes. I think she was working with the taint.”
Yeah, I’d come to the same conclusion but hadn’t wanted to voice it. It hurt to think that my friend could have betrayed me like that.
Tate stood and leaned across the table to press a kiss to my forehead. “It’s going to be okay.”
When he said it, I believed it. “I’m so grateful to have you, babe.”
He stroked my cheek with the backs of his knuckles. “How about we get some food?”