Mistress Maurielle nodded at him.
“Why don’t we just steal the guns?”
The temple masters around the table looked at each other, and I didn’t stop my little chuckle.
“That makes so much sense.” I rested my head on my fist.
“Steal?” Sona was appalled.
“Yes, steal,” the captain repeated. “With all due respect, they shot the Breaker by way of greeting after millennia of separation. I held out hope they would be as thrilled and delighted as we were to be reunited, but it’s clear”—he gestured to me—“they were not as pleased as we were.”
“We…don’t steal…” Master Argo sputtered. “That’s amoral. That’s not—”
“Oh, please.” Dorian snorted, leaning forward. “Amoral? You have no qualms about bending morality at your whim like anyone else at this table. We all have skeletons in our closets.”
“And some in our beds,” Master Bebbenel snapped at him.
I schooled my features, just barely. I knew all three had taken extra precautions when Elex had been killed. Dorian hadn’t come to bed that night—but could Bebbenel know that Dorian…?
Dorian stared at him. Rilen squeezed my hand again. My lips were sealed.
After taking a deliberate sip from the water goblet, Dorian stared him down. “And some in our beds and in our gardens. Do you really want to play this game, Argo?” He sipped the water again. “Because you know I’ll win.”
Argo grunted and sat back.
“Your honors?” Captain Staviz interjected.
Maurielle nodded. “Yes, Captain. We’ll take your suggestion. But what do any of us know of war? Or raids? Or even of these guns?”
“We have to learn as we go,” Drez said.
Dorian pointed to Drez. “Your cover is blown, Mister Orvson. I want you to work with the captain.”
The captain nodded. “I need someone to handle intelligence gathering, and I don’t know that you’ve been exposed so much that I can’t use you in more clandestine ways. And your mate, if she doesn’t mind.”
Jallina nodded. I could see the pride in her eyes, and I gave her a smile.
“Who is next on the shield?” Dorian asked.
“I am,” Argo said.
“Then let’s let Captain Staniz head out and plan for this raid,” Sona said. “And we can see just how much Master Dorian can teach us about the vampire side of our powers.”
* * *
“I’m going.”
Dorian whirled and grabbed my arms. “You are not going.”
I stared up at him. “I am going.”
“You’re not going!” Dorian’s eyes glowed gold.
“Don’t pull your magic out on me, Dorian.”
“Kimber, please, be reasonable,” he said, calming down. “You’re the Breaker. You have to stay safe.”
“I’ve done my job.” I vaguely pointed toward a window, toward the scar in the middle of S’Kir. “Now what? I sit around being pampered? The three of you fucking me so you have power?”
“Kimber,” Rilen said.
I whirled on him. “You forget the power flows both ways?”
“No, no, that’s not it,” he said. “You are the Breaker. We don’t know what your destiny is.”
“So I sit around eating bonbons, hoping we can figure out what I’m supposed to do next before my ass melds with the couch?”
“You’re not going,” Dorian said again.
“I’m sure I am. You already won’t let me take the shield.”
“We haven’t needed you,” Roran said.
I could feel my anger raising my magic in my eyes. I was sure they were glowing gold as Dorian’s had. “You have needed me. It’s only been a week off my crutches, and I’ve seen how drained, how close to dead you all are when you come off the shield. And if you won’t let me take the shield, then I’m going on the raid.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Rilen traded a look with his twin.
“One or the other. Give me the shield, or I go on the raid.” I folded my arms and stared at the three of them.
Dorian stared back at me. “Neither.”
“Then why did you name me to the dais?” I picked up the bowl on the table and hurled it at the wall, smashing it. “What am I doing here? What is the point of having me wear the robes? If you wanted me in your bed, you could have just brought me here.”
They were silent again, all exchanging looks that were loaded with meaning, and meaning that they weren’t sharing with me.
I threw my hands in the air. “If you need me, or decide to talk to me and let me know what the hell is going on, I’ll be in the practice room!”
Banging the doors open and slamming them behind me, I marched through the halls down to the practice room where Lunella and Mistress Ophelia were sparring.
Both women looked up at me and smiled.
“Mistress Kimber, a delight,” Lunella smiled, but half a moment later, her grin slid away. “What’s wrong?”
“I want to spar,” I answered.
Lunella walked to the wall of swords. “Ophelia, I do believe there’s trouble in paradise.”
“One of the best ways to work out anger is either to hit your bedmate upside the head with a cast iron skillet,” Mistress Ophelia said, “or walk away and take it out on something else.”
I nodded and accepted the sword from Lunella. “Cast iron sounds tempting, Mistress Ophelia.”
“Drop the mistress,” she said, hefting her sword, “and I’ll lend you the pan for Dorian.”
I laughed. I was still steaming mad, but at least they had talked me off the ledge. With the two of them, I was able to burn off a lot of my angry energy.
There would still be a fight to deal with tonight, though. Apparently, my mates thought I was stupid—or still too naïve to talk about their issue with me.
Rilen tried to sit next to me, but I slapped my book closed and moved to another seat. He let out a sigh and followed me.
I moved again.
He followed me again.
I moved again.
This time, he stood directly behind me, not allowing me to move.
“Kimber.”
I didn’t turn around. “No. I’m not talking to you right now.”
Rilen leaned in close. “It’s been nearly six weeks since you’ve done more than sleep in our bed.”
“That’s inaccurate.” I snapped the book shut, and turned in the chair. “Eighteen of those days were breaking the Spine. Five of them I was in the infirmary. Another week was spent recuperating, at your insistence. That’s a full month. My celibacy has only lasted for two weeks.”
“But why… you know we want you there. I thought you wanted to be there.” Rilen truly looked confused and contrite.
I stood up, forcing him back. “I do. I do want to be there. But I will not lay with those who won’t tell me the truth or confide in me. I’m just as much a part of this group—both the bed and the dais—as you three are, and yet you keep secrets.”