"You might be right," he said with a deep sigh. "I wish...I wish I could tell you she was different when she was younger. That the choices we made changed her. I wish..."
Putting my hand on his arm, I stopped his next words. "I wish I could, too. But she was Maddy."
The wry smile turned wistful. "Yes, she was." He glanced at me, then just past me, and I didn't have to look to know Archie was right there. The guys would give me space and Hank was nearby, but Archie wouldn't leave me with Edward until he was certain.
Even then, he might not.
"I'm sorry, you deserved a lot better." That could have been directed at either of us, so I held out one hand to Edward, even as I reached back for Archie.
The older man gave my hand a long look before he accepted it, but Archie's fingers slid through mine immediately and he narrowed the distance between us until I could have leaned on him if I wanted.
"So did you," I told Edward. And I meant it. Archie loved me. He loved all of me. He even loved my need for the other guys. More, he accepted me for who I was and embraced the family we'd built. I couldn't fathom how Maddy couldn't see what she could have had with Edward or how he'd forgiven her so much and so often and yet she continued to twist and to use and to abuse.
"She's right," Archie said with a kiss to my temple. "You do deserve better. Maybe we can't be—you know—but maybe we can just be friends and go from there."
It was an olive branch, one Edward clearly didn't expect to be offered if the sudden way he squeezed my hand was any indication. "I'd like that," he said. "I know I don't—"
"That's the past," Archie told him firmly. "A past we can all put to rest now. We look forward. You saved Frankie."
"He saved you."
"I wish I could have spared you both. I'll never make up for the pain we caused either of you."
"You don't have to," I told him. "I don't know if any of us could. But Archie's right, I don't want to look back anymore." Not at my life with her. Not at the choices she made. "The only thing I'm glad for is that you guys came into our lives, ‘cause it meant I got to know Archie."
As twisted as that might seem, I'd take it.
Edward stared at us both for a long moment then he tugged my hand and stepped forward, until he hugged us both. I wasn't the only one who froze under the sudden display of affection.
"Thank you for loving each other," he whispered in a voice so cracked with emotion it ripped through the numbness muffling the whole world, and pain burned in my eyes. "Thank you for showing me it can be done."
As swift and fierce as his embrace was, he released us and strode away without a word. Archie wrapped an arm around my middle and pulled me back against him. I swayed, half-dizzy. The picturesque little graveyard with its rich, verdant spring green color swam in front of me. Coop suddenly took Edward's place and he clasped my hand, then Jake and Ian were there, too. All four of them arrayed around me in a perfect circle.
We had a family. Ours.
I wasn't alone.
Still, I couldn't quite help looking at the grave as the workers came forward and the coffin lowered mechanically into the ground. The faint whirring of gears and pulleys a rather ignoble farewell to someone who had cast such a long shadow.
Despite the burning in my eyes, the tears wouldn't come.
I had no idea how long I stood there when Coop said, "We can skip the lunch. Everyone will understand."
"We can even just bring food up and you can get comfy," Jake offered. "No one is going to mind."
"No, they came all this way. I should at least thank them."
"Angel," Ian said and that pulled my attention away from the hole where her coffin vanished. "You don't owe anyone anything. They came here to support you. What do you need?"
I had what I needed.
"Food," I admitted. "I haven't been hungry. But I'm sure I need to eat." A fact Jeremy confirmed for me every day when he put something in front of me three or four times a day. Food had even come to our suite at the hotel this morning while we got ready, but I hadn't wanted any then. I might be able to choke some down now.
We turned away from the grave and headed to where the car waited for us, it shouldn't have surprised me, but it did when I found Hank and Edward talking. Jeremy stood at a discreet distance. I half-missed a step when Hank and Edward shook hands and Edward turned away to walk to his own car.
Alone.
"Fuck it," Archie whispered before he brushed a kiss to my cheek. "You good until we get to the hotel, babe?"
"Go," I told him. "He needs you."
Loosening his tie, Archie nodded and set off at a jog to catch up with him. I caught Jeremy's faint nod of approval as he moved around to open the door. Everyone else had hired cars, Jeremy insisted on driving us and wouldn't hear anything to the contrary.
Hank waited for us to get within earshot before he said, "Do you mind if I ride with you..."
I answered him with a hug. The world might be muffled again, but Hank had been here from the moment he heard, even though he had a life and a family, he'd still been right here with me.
"Thanks for being here...Dad," I whispered, and his arms tightened around me. He'd been here because we were family too.
"Always," he whispered back and I closed my eyes. Everyone waited for us, and I let myself glance back once more at the gravesite in the shadow of the trees. It really was a pretty little spot. Idyllic. Peaceful. Perfect.
All things Maddy had never been in life.
I was never coming back here again.
CHAPTER TWO
I’VE SEEN LONELY TIMES AND FALLING RAIN
FRANKIE
The reception was also at the hotel, Archie or maybe Jeremy—hell it could have been Edward for all I’d paid attention to the details, had made arrangements to arrange for everything to take place there. Lunch would be served, the bar was open, and in lieu of pictures of the deceased, they’d put out wreaths of flowers in all different colors and types. Roses. Lilies. Carnations.
Chloe and Craig had been opening car doors as the limos and other vehicles arrived back at the hotel. Alec stood with his mother at the top step, until Craig opened our door. Hank slid out first and then held a hand out to me.
Coop gave my hand a squeeze and Jake let go of my other hand so I could accept Hank’s offer. Ian had settled back into watchful mode. My awareness of the guys wasn’t as dulled as everything else. Probably the only reason I caught the flash of a frown when I summoned a smile for my younger siblings.
As soon as I stood in the sunshine, Alec jogged down the steps. Chloe wrapped a hug around my waist and I dipped down so I could hug her properly. Then Craig gave me a hug, though his still held an element of shyness. It was dark haired and solemn-eyed Alec who surprised me by giving me a hard, swift hug.
“Mom said to tell you if you need a break or anything, just glance at me and I’ll interrupt whoever is talking to you.” The hurried whisper turned my plastered-on smile real.
“Thank you,” I told him as I leaned back to meet his dark gaze. “I’ll do that.”