Eyes closed, I tucked my head against his shoulder. It was just easier to let them make the decisions for a few minutes. “I got you,” Coop murmured. Once we were in the huge suite, he carried me right back to the huge bedroom that came with it. Well, actually it came with two, but they’d all piled in here with me the night before, king bed or not. I’d ended up sleeping across all of them and no one complained.
Once in the room, he set me on my feet and then he bent down to help me out of my shoes. Jake was right behind us, shedding his suit jacket, before he was unzipping my dress. In about thirty seconds, I went from dressed, down to my panties, because even my bra had vanished. Then Coop was pulling one of my favorite t-shirts over my head. He cupped my face to kiss me lightly, before he ran his fingers through my hair like he could comb out the hair spray that left it stiff.
“I need to wash my face.”
“Yep,” he said and gave me another kiss. I think it was one of the first times in a long time they’d gotten me naked so efficiently, only to put me in another outfit. I sighed and when I wrapped my arms around him, Coop just hugged me tight. No rushing at all.
When I finally peeled myself away to go wash my face, he and Jake spoke in low tones. The door to the suite opened and then closed. “Don’t everyone rush me at once, bitches, I know you were waiting for me to get here.”
Rachel’s voice made me smile. By the time I'd washed off my face and stepped out of the bathroom, Jake and Coop had both changed into shirts and sweats. Jake picked me up into a hug and I laughed as he carried me toward the sitting room.
“I can walk.”
“Yeah, but Coop’s been hogging you and I need some Frankie cuddle time.”
“You’re gonna make me throw up, aren’t you?” Rachel sprawled on one of the armchairs, like us, she’d also changed into looser clothing. Though her pajama leggings were a lot classier and so was her button down top. I swore she looked almost too prim and proper. “What?” she glanced down at herself and then at me. “I bought them in the gift shop. Sue me, I sleep naked and didn’t have any PJs with me.”
“Damn, I did not need that visual,” Jake muttered as he sat down and settled me in his lap. Coop draped my legs over his as he sat next to us. Rachel had brought more than the pajamas, there were two bottles of wine on the table.
“It wasn’t for you,” she retorted and for the first time in what felt like forever, a real laugh bubbled up from beneath the broken wreckage and debris of heartache that I couldn’t bring myself to sort through yet.
The door opened again to Archie and Ian in.
“I come bearing pizza and chocolate,” Archie announced and the smell of the pizza hit me, and my stomach gave a hint of a grumble. I actually couldn’t remember when I’d last eaten. “Wine, some pizza, our woman and—”
“Rachel,” Ian finished for him with a snort.
“Don’t get all excited, boys, I’m here for Frankie.”
“Aww,” Archie said as he put the pizza on the table and went to sit on the arm of her chair. “Really? And see here I thought you’ve been harboring some fantasies about the rest of us.”
“You mean throttling you?” she snarked.
“Oh, no,” Archie said, smirk growing, and I groaned.
“Be nice.”
They both paused to look at me and I gave them both a meaningful look.
With an exaggerated sigh, Archie said, “Fine, I was just going to say if she wanted to get dicked, I could recommend some better guys than Walsh. That guy’s an ass.”
“I think I’m giving up dick, the experiment is a bust. It’s all vag, all the time, but thanks for the thought.” Rachel’s smile was too serene, but she shook her head at me and reached forward to flip open the pizza box. It was loaded with everything, including pineapple. The second box was a straight up meat lovers.
“Glasses,” Ian announced as he carried them out from the little kitchenette that came with the suite. “There’s also soda if anyone wants to skip the wine.”
“Jere made sure to bring us some beer too,” Archie said. He and Ian went to change, they didn’t take long and when they came back, we all spread out and I sat on the floor in front of Jake so I could eat at the table. Rachel kept filling our wine glasses and the guys were giving her shit and she was dishing it right back.
This—this was better. I caught Ian watching me and I gave him a little smile, mouthing ‘I’m okay,’ and he nodded. No questions, just—just the guys and Rachel and this was what I needed. I was out of words. But I could soak up their warmth, their nearness—their stability.
CHAPTER FIVE
OK TO NOT BE OK
FRANKIE
Three days after the funeral, we were back in the city and the guys had classes. I was supposed to be in them too, but I just couldn’t seem to work together the energy to care. My academic advisor had confirmed what the bereavement emails offered. I could take all passing and it wouldn’t affect my GPA. She suggested I should give it serious consideration and accept the offer. I’d think about it.
Hank had encouraged me to do the same before we parted the day after the funeral. He needed to get back to Boston and his life, and we had to be back here. As it was, I sat outside, not far from the building where Rachel would be leaving one of her photography classes. I was a horrible friend, I couldn’t even remember which class it was. Just that we usually got coffee after these classes.
The last ninety minutes of sitting here hadn’t gotten me any closer to answers or a decision about what to do. I could have stayed home at the brownstone. Jeremy probably would have fussed over me, and I could have curled up in bed and watched sad movies to try and make myself cry. So far, very little had worked. My eyes were still dry, and the world still felt like it was a foot back, or like there was this thick pane of glass between me and everyone else.
“Whatever is making you scowl like that, we need to find it and bury it,” Rachel announced as she suddenly blocked out the sun I hadn’t even realized was making me squint behind my sunglasses.
“Pretty sure we already did that,” I told her as I stood, and Rachel’s grin froze. “It’s okay,” I said, waving off the impending apology. “Really.”
“Fuck my life,” Rachel exhaled the words before raking a hand through her mass of messy hair. She was usually way more put together than this. “I’m sorry, I know I can be a thoughtless bitch…”
“Stop it,” I said, hooking my arm through hers. “You’re definitely not a thoughtless bitch. It was an offhand remark.”
“But in hella poor taste,” Rachel grumbled, bumping my shoulder with hers as we walked together toward the corner, where we could cross the street and head down to the coffee shop. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Frankie.”
“You’re forgiven,” I told her easily enough. “And it worked, I’m not scowling anymore.”
“Ugh.” Tilting her head back, Rachel groaned. “Fine, but I reserve the right to try and make this up to you at some point in the future, even if you don’t think I need to.”