Jane started to put her hand on Santa’s shoulder, but she hesitated. “Hold up a hot minute. When I was new—”
“You are still new, ma chère.”
She rolled her eyes. “When I was newer, every time Ethan touched me, I wanted to rip his clothes off. That’s not going to happen with Father Christmas, is it? Because I am not in the mood to fight off the sexual advances of a horny Santa.”
“Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho.” St. Nick continued his crazed laughter.
Gaston arched a brow. “He’s a married man.”
Jane matched his expression. “Your point?”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Ethan said. “Not once in my entire undead existence have I felt the urge to see Gaston naked.” He glanced at his sire. “No offense, man.”
Gaston pressed a hand to his chest, feigning shock. “Not even once?”
“Sorry.”
“Okay.” Jane gripped Santa’s shoulder. “Focus, Mr. Claus.”
He snapped his head toward her, his eyes widening like he just remembered where he was.
“You got blitzed with Blitzen and left the bar. What happened next?”
“I needed to pee, so we stopped by a tree in the park. Then…” His lips pursed, drawing her attention to the bloodstains around his mouth. They’d have to clean him up before they took him to meet the Magistrate.
“I don’t remember.” He looked at her. “Do you have any soda? My throat feels like chestnuts roasting on an open fire.”
“No, sorry.” Jane cringed. She remembered the feeling, and there was only one thing that would tame the burn.
“Iced mocha? Sweet tea? Maple syrup?” His eyes grew wider and glassier with each question.
Jane glanced at Ethan before squaring her shoulders toward Santa. “You need blood.”
“I’ll settle for a glass of sugar water if that’s all you’ve got.”
“Santa…” She clutched his arm. “You’re a vampire.”
He blinked, tilting his head. “Don’t be silly. You’re a vampire. I’m king of the fae.”
“You’re both.” She explained her little mishap behind the wheel. “If I hadn’t turned you, you’d have died. So, now you’re a hybrid—half-fae, half-vampire.”
He stared straight ahead, stroking his blood-stained beard for what felt like forever but was probably only about thirty seconds. Then he looked at her and smiled. “I can live with that.”
Ethan shifted in his seat. “Technically, you’re not really living…”
“Too many details,” she thought-spoke to her husband. Santa was cool with his predicament, so they needed to leave it alone.
Jane stood and tugged Santa to his feet. “Why don’t you hop in the shower and give your beard a good scrub? You’ll feel good as new, and I’ll run your clothes through the wash before we meet the Magistrate.”
“Can we stop for a milkshake on the way?” He followed her up the stairs to the bathroom.
“We’ll see.” Jane gestured to the shower. “Toss your clothes out after you undress, and I’ll put them in the wash for you.”
He shrugged out of his jacket, and she stepped down the hall to get a towel from the linen closet. When she returned, he’d already stripped down to his boxers, which matched his pin-up girl socks. Not surprising.
What Jane didn’t expect was that all that bulk under his clothes was pure muscle. Seriously, the guy didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on his body. With his massive chest and abs she could do laundry on, he looked more like a polar bear shifter than a jolly old elf.
He caught her gawking and winked, but when he reached for the waistband of his undies, she shot into the hallway faster than a reindeer at feeding time—and those suckers were quick…she’d learned from experience!
“Ho, ho, here you go.” He tossed his clothes into the hall and closed the bathroom door.
Jane gathered them up and threw them in the quick-wash cycle. As she closed the laundry room door, Santa’s deep, melodious voice danced down the hall. Was he singing?
She tiptoed to the bathroom and pressed her ear against the door. Yep. He was singing.
Santa got run over by a vampire
Peeing in the park on Christmas week.
You may think there’s no such thing as vampires,
But as for me and Blitzen, we believe.
Jane covered her mouth as she snorted. This guy was hilarious.
Half an hour later, his clothes were dry, and they were ready to go, but leaving blood on his snow-white beard all day had been a mistake. Even after his shower, he still had an orange stain around his mouth. There was nothing she could do about that now, though. They had an appointment with the Magistrate, and Jane needed to bring her A-game if she was going to get out of this alive…er…undead. Whatever.
Chapter Four
Ethan’s knee bounced incessantly as they waited for the Magistrate to arrive. Jane rested her hand on his leg to still his fidgeting, but the other knee began bouncing instead. Santa sat in the leather chair on her opposite side, and Gaston stood in the corner, running his tongue over his fangs. They didn’t have time to stop for breakfast on their way, not that they could have done much with Crazy Claus in tow.
A massive dark-wood desk sat in the center of the spacious office, and gothic renderings of famous and not-so-famous New Orleans landmarks decorated the space. Four metal filing cabinets occupied the far wall, and a foot-high stack of papers sat atop one of them, waiting for a new recruit to file them.
The Magistrate still liked his bookkeeping done old-school, but Jane was working on bringing the whole organization into the twenty-first century. If they’d ease up on their mandate that a vampire had to be dead for fifty years before they could run for a seat on the Council, she could get things done a lot faster, but that was a rule they wouldn’t bend…not even for her.
Gaston had finagled a private appointment with the Magistrate, due to the elite status of the newest vampire in New Orleans, so they didn’t have to appear before the entire Council…which was a very good thing. Jane may have had the Magistrate wrapped around her little finger, but the rest of the Volturi could suck it. Just forty-nine more years until she could infiltrate the patriarchy and really get shit done.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got this.” She gave Ethan her most reassuring smile, even flashing a little fang because that always turned him on.
He took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. His palm was colder than normal and a little clammy. “I know you do. That’s not why I’m worried.”
“What is it then?”
He fisted his free hand on his thigh and lowered his voice. “Your dad is coming the day after tomorrow.”
She sighed. “Thanks for the reminder.”
His nostrils flared as he blew out a breath, but seriously, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Gaston was playing host since his house was bigger, so she and Ethan didn’t have to do much to prepare. She’d made a shopping list for him, and they’d all agreed to no presents. They were good to go.