“Make it strong, please.”
When the microwave beeped, he poured the warmed blood into glasses and mixed the whiskey into both before settling on the cushion beside her. “I’ve been in plenty of jellies in my life, my friend, but this one takes the pie.”
She took a giant gulp of her whiskey blood. “I think you mean ‘jams’ and ‘cake,’ but yeah. How am I going to talk my way out of this one? Who do I even need to talk to? The Magistrate? The SWO? Santa’s wife?” She shuddered at the thought of that conversation. Hello, Mrs. Claus. I almost killed your husband, but don’t worry! I damned him to darkness instead. Yeah…that would go over really well.
“One step at a time, ma chère. First, you’ll get him registered and deal with the Magistrate. You’re lucky you and he are friends. Vampires have been staked for far pettier crimes than this.”
“Since when is adding to the vampire population a crime?”
Gaston sipped his drink, watching her over the rim of the glass like he expected her to answer her own question. “Have you forgotten the hell they gave Ethan when he turned you? And you were merely the daughter of someone important.”
“Well, I…” She clamped her mouth shut. The wannabe Volturi Vampire Council had threatened to stake Ethan for not filing the proper paperwork before turning the Texas governor’s daughter, but Jane had talked them out of it.
“I am not…” She was about to debate her own importance—Jane Devereaux wasn’t merely anything—but her sexy-as-sin husband walked through the door, and she forgot all about the petty argument she was about to have.
Ethan wore jeans and a dark green t-shirt that made his emerald eyes pop. His wavy chestnut hair fell perfectly into place, and he smiled as his gaze met hers. “I brought the carrots.” He held up three bags. “Is this enough?”
Jane rose to her feet and moved toward him. “Get over here, you scrumptious creature of darkness.” She stepped into his arms and planted a ginormous kiss on his lips. She might have been in the biggest mess of her undead life, but she couldn’t resist the hottest vampire in New Orleans. Don’t judge.
An mmm sound resonated from his throat as he pulled her closer. “Now look what you’ve done. Vlad’s awake.”
She grinned at his use of her nickname for his dick, but the mention of dicks reminded her of another piece of meat she’d accidentally witnessed earlier tonight. “When you see the mess I’ve made, you’ll want to impale me with a stake, not Vlad.”
He gave her a quizzical look. “Does this have anything to do with the carrots?”
“Come see.” She took his hand and led him around the sofa to see the sleeping Santa.
Ethan stopped, tilting his head and blinking at the man on the couch before cutting his gaze between Jane and Gaston. “Jingle my balls, is that who I think it is?”
“Your wife has gotten herself into a preserved cucumber, which means both you, as her sire, and I, as her accomplice, are marinating in the brine as well.”
“You mean a pickle.” Ethan looked at the bags of carrots in his hand. “Why do I have a feeling there’s a reindeer involved?”
“Blitzen is in the backyard,” she said.
“And Santa is here because…?”
Jane swallowed hard. “So, you know how you had to work on the end-of-year audit at the club tonight?”
“Yes, Jane. I do remember what I was doing half an hour ago.” He set the carrots on the coffee table and pressed his lips into a thin line.
“Well, Gaston and I had just finished hunting for dinner, and I might have maybe convinced him to let me drive Genevieve.”
Ethan glanced at Santa. “Okay…”
He knew. She could tell by the look on his face and the perturbed tone of his voice he knew exactly what happened, but he was going to make her say it.
Jane lifted her hands and dropped them at her sides. “You know how powerful that car is and how heavy my foot can be. I lost control and ran over Santa, and he was about to die so I turned him.” She covered her face. “I turned Santa into a vampire.”
Gaston lifted a finger. “A hybrid. Only a human can become a full vampire.”
Ethan blinked rapidly, shaking his head like the blinking guy meme people use when they can’t believe something. He looked just like that for a good thirty seconds before he finally spoke. “But…your dad will be here in three days.”
“I know, I know. But Gaston said if I let him die, I’d be staked and start a war. Having Vampire Santa in the house for a few days will be better than fighting off the fae in front of my father.”
“Jane.” He took her by the arms. “The Council might still vote to stake you. A war might still happen.”
“Okay, but a war definitely would have started if I didn’t turn him. Now we have a chance it won’t. And do you really think the Council would stake Jane Devereaux? After everything we’ve been through and talked our way out of?”
“She has a point, old friend. Turning him really was her only option.” Gaston took Jane’s unfinished glass of whiskey blood from the coffee table and downed the contents in one gulp.
Ethan blew out a heavy breath through his nose, gave Santa a hard look, and then softened his gaze at Jane. “I guess we’ll be visiting the Magistrate tomorrow night.”
Jane nodded. “You’re not mad at me, are you?
He chuckled. “I could never be mad at you, princess.”
She kissed his cheek. How the hell did she get so lucky? Well, lucky in love. In life, not so much at the moment. “I’ll fix this. I promise.”
“I know you will.” Ethan grinned. “Is there really a reindeer in the backyard?”
“Yep. I rode him here.”
His mouth dropped open. “You rode a reindeer?”
“He’s faster than lightning too. Come say hi to Blitzen.” She took his hand, grabbed the carrots, and led him down the hall to the back door while Gaston went to the kitchen for a refill.
“Wow.” Ethan’s eyes widened in wonder as they stepped onto the porch and Blitzen loped toward them.
Jane set the bags on the patio table and opened one before placing a carrot in Ethan’s hand. “See if he’s hungry.”
He held out his hand, and Blitzen took the carrot between his teeth, pulling the entire thing from Ethan’s grip before the reindeer lifted his head and let it fall into his mouth. When he finished chewing, he nudged Ethan’s arm, asking for more.
Jane stood next to Blitzen and ran her palm over his side. “Question. Well, two questions, actually.”
Ethan’s smile brightened his eyes. “Shoot.”
“Why can I say ‘Christmas’ out loud, when vampires were smote…smoted? Smited? Anyway, I can’t say the first half of the word alone without feeling like I’m going to hack up a lung, but I can sing ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ all day long.”
“It’s only the religious icon and his son’s name vampires can’t speak aloud. Christmas was built on pagan traditions, and the holiday has become so commercialized, it doesn’t count.”
Jane pursed her lips, nodding as she considered his explanation. “Gotcha. That makes sense, so on to question two. Since Santa is real, why is it that the parents buy all the presents for their kids, and adults don’t even know he exists? What does he do if he doesn’t deliver gifts?”