Without.
His chest started to tighten again at the thought of something happening to her, but thankfully, the brush of her hips against his shifted his focus back to the warm, naked woman in his arms.
“Remember that day we didn’t leave the bed?” She moved her hips in a slow circle against his. “Morning until night, we must have tried every position on the planet.”
“What were your favorites?” He certainly had a few that he was dying to repeat.
“All of them!”
He laughed again, the sound hoarse as he cupped one of her breasts, lightly stroking the sensitive skin. When he found the taut tip and pinched it gently, he earned a sound of pleasure from his wife.
“How does this feel?” He already knew what her answer would be, but he loved hearing her say it.
“So good.”
“Only good?” He moved to her other breast, giving it the same sensual attention. “I must need to work harder.” He pressed his erection against her, going for a joke so bad he knew she would love it. “Much harder.”
Her laughter lifted him even further from the darkness.
“It’s a good thing you chose farming over comedy, cowboy.”
“You’re the only one I want to make laugh,” he agreed. Then he slipped his hand from her breasts down over her belly and into the vee between her legs. “And the only one I want to make come.”
She was already so hot and wet and ready for him that he could barely keep from taking her. Not that she would have any problem with a blisteringly fast orgasm. But this morning, he wanted to stay wrapped around her warmth as long as he possibly could.
Because once he had to let the real world in…
Steeling himself against the fears that were, even now, trying to infiltrate his head and heart, he focused one hundred percent of his attention on the feel of Lori’s aroused, damp skin, on the desperate little sounds she was making as she rocked into his fingers, on her clean, sweet scent, on the way she was always so open, so happy, so confident and secure in every part of herself, body and soul.
She turned her head over her shoulder, and the moment he captured her mouth, she shattered against his hand, her body trembling from the power of her orgasm, then shaking even harder when he slid two fingers inside, finding the spot that always turned her limbs to jelly.
He’d expected her to need some recovery time…but he should have known better. At eight months pregnant, Lori remained a wildcat in bed, her hand coming around to grip his rock-hard shaft, her thigh lifting so that she could position him right where she wanted him.
He didn’t need further hints, or encouragement, before thrusting deep. With one hand on her hip, he held her there for a long moment, letting her feel what she did to him, how desperate she made him.
Finally, they began to move again, her hips dancing with his. They had always been a perfect pairing, and yet their rhythm was never better than when they were making love.
The sounds of the waves crashing outside and their ragged breathing formed the soundtrack to their sweetly fierce lovemaking as they both reached the fever peak…then went tumbling over into ecstasy together.
* * *
“This is the best babymoon ever.” Lori rolled over to prop herself up on one elbow so that she could drool over her extremely handsome husband. When the muscles just below her stomach tightened, she shifted into a more comfortable position. “We should do this every time we have a baby.”
He blanched so quickly that she almost missed it, but after months of telling herself she was imagining things—and then keeping her difficult questions to herself last night—his tanned skin going pale was one troubling reaction too many.
Lori knew Grayson wanted to trust her with absolutely everything, but in order to be fully honest with her, he would need to be fully honest with himself first.
“Which part of what I just said freaked you out?”
He shook his head, obviously trying to push her concern away, just as he had so many times before. “I’m fine.”
“No one should just be fine after sex that good.” She put her hand over his chest and swore she could feel his heart skip a beat, even as her lower abdomen twinged again. It was a slightly weird feeling, one that hadn’t come before in her pregnancy. “What’s going on inside your head, cowboy?”
He remained silent, long enough that she actually had to bite her tongue to stop herself from prodding him. Whenever someone poked at her emotional wounds, she closed up like a clam. Though Grayson sometimes needed a little push, they were similar enough in that way that he wouldn’t appreciate a shove. No matter how much it looked like he might need one.
The silence had drawn out long and heavy by the time he finally replied, “Every time.”
She blinked at him, trying to figure out what those two words could mean. Because they obviously did mean something big and bad to him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have sounded so hoarse.
And gosh darn it, she wished she could figure out how to get more comfortable on the bed so that these darned twinges in her stomach would stop! Right now, she needed to focus every last ounce of her attention on her husband.
Her voice was gentle as she asked, “Every time…?”
“Every time we have a baby. That’s what you just said. We should do this every time we have a baby.” He’d scrunched his eyes closed as he spoke, almost as though the words pained him too much to look at her as he said them. “I’m barely holding it together for this baby, let alone more babies in the future.”
She could hear, could see, could feel, how much this admission cost him—her amazingly strong husband, whose shoulders carried such heavy physical weight every single day on their farm.
Had he been carrying an even heavier emotional weight for the past eight months without her knowing it?
Lori thought about what her mother had said at the baby shower—All he wants is for you and the baby to be safe and sound—and felt as though her heart was breaking. Why hadn’t she seen this sooner?
And why did her body have to decide to knock her with so many of these darned Braxton-Hicks “practice” contractions all of a sudden?
“Grayson.” She put her hand on his jaw, waiting until he opened his eyes and looked at her again. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. Please.”
He gritted his teeth, a muscle jumping in his jaw, a faint sheen of sweat appearing on his skin. “I’m freaking out.”
“Because of what happened to Leslie?” She wasn’t afraid to speak of his late wife, and though it hadn’t been easy for him at first, over the years he’d been able to speak more freely about her too. At least until now.
“Yes.” He grimaced. “No.” He cursed, running a hand over his face. “I can see how healthy you are. I’m there at every doctor visit and hear the nurse and obstetrician say how well your pregnancy is going. And when I feel our daughter give a good, strong kick against my hand, I know better than to let the darkness come back.” He paused, let out a harsh breath. “But it’s been coming anyway.”
“It’s normal to be scared,” she said softly. “This whole baby thing we’re doing…it’s a big deal.”
“Not scared.” The look in his eyes seared her. “Terrified.”