“Leaf,” was all the man said.
This immediately stood out to Nikki. Nothing about being called Nicole, or her usual opening line about only her parents calling her Nicole. None of that. Just ‘Leaf.’ Nikki didn’t have anything against the name. It was just that the name was a curious first puzzle piece of the man whom Nikki had just met.
His open and carefree demeanor instantly was noticeable. And Nikki knew it was just standing out to her because of her prior engineer-date’s rigid, mechanical demeanor. No – Leaf was the complete opposite, and she could tell it from his vibe instantly. That vibe was another piece of the puzzle that was Leaf. Another piece was his long, shoulder-length curly hair. Yet another puzzle piece was how his button-shirt was completely unbuttoned all the way down to essentially his belly button, leaving very little to the imagination. Along with the puzzle piece of his wide, openly – but almost too – friendly vibe, Nikki was immediately starting to make assumptions about the man. So, she decided to have some fun and test her assumptions.
“Leaf, huh? Did your parents name you that?”
“It’s just Leaf.” He said with a non-defensive tone through his smile. Nikki even detected a hint of some type of accent, but couldn’t tell if it was in her mind or if it was real. Was it middle eastern or something? It couldn’t be, she thought – Leaf didn’t stand out as being from there at all. Was it some type of fake accent? What was going on? All of these thoughts raced through her mind as, right off the bat, she tried to put a finger on who this guy was.
“Oh, c’mon – you gotta tell me. Did you pick the name? I love it.” She was lying, but figured fake flattery was the only way to get more info from the guy. The meaning behind his name would be a big clue to the question permeating her mind: was it Leaf’s parents, or Leaf himself, who was the hippie? She didn’t care either way, she just was trying to figure this man out quickly so that she’d be able to steer their conversation to the more-meaningful questions which she wanted to explore in a relationship. Again, she was willing to give every guy a chance at the start, regardless of their background or beliefs.
“I chose it,” he said with a wide smile.
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“To symbolize that I’m like a leaf blowing in the wind waiting for fate to steer me in the right direction. Who knows, maybe it’s fate that blew me toward your direction.”
Instantly, two things popped into Nikki’s mind – the first being that a kite does the same thing, yet he didn’t choose to be called ‘kite.’ Now, she’d have a tough time holding in calling him kite. But mainly, the other thing she couldn’t get out of her mind was Leaf being the one to mention fate. Leaf raising the topic of fate instantly brought Nikki back to this same chair a couple of weeks ago and her unique conversation with Luke. Before that date had abruptly ended, Luke had asked her if she believed in fate. She didn’t really know how to answer then, and in the time since that mystery-man’s question, she hadn’t obtained any clarity on the subject.
Instead of giving the guy across from her a hard time about his name, she asked the same serious question Luke had asked her a couple weeks ago.
“Do you believe in that?”
“…what?”
“Fate?”
The man smiled, being slightly caught off guard at the seriousness of Nikki’s inquiry. But he seemed all too happy to hear himself speak. So, he did. And with the abundance of words from his mouth came his complete life philosophy:
“I believe in fate as though it is the air I breathe. I believe fate is sewn into the essence of the soul like the atoms in our being. And just as a leaf is guided to its next great adventure through the air, so too am I. I have been to many fascinating places in this wondrous world, and yet I have learned one thing. Life is sex. Opposites attracting, filling the void emotionally and physically – catapulting emotion and transcendence as the highest peak of human existence. What you or I experience is all just a blur to the whims of fate. I’m helpless in it. You’re helpless in it. We’re all helpless to the desires which compel us to one another. And it’s that fate which I accept like a leaf in the wind.”
His lecture ended. Yet, he hadn’t really said anything of substance. Long strings of meaningful-sounding words were attached to each other like links in a child’s toy, but there was no meaning in them. It was as though he sought to lure her into his cultish harem through a soliloquy of words, but didn’t really know the reality of what he was saying. It was all a game of charm, as Nikki so easily interpreted it.
But there was one thing he said to her that did stand out. It was his phrase: “Life is sex.” She asked one simple question about fate and his meandering response wove in sex. Nikki knew what type of man this was. And he wasn’t for her. Maybe some other woman would be searching for meaning in her soul about who she was, but not Nikki. Nikki knew who she was. She was just searching for love. Not sex. Not a babbling leader of some philosophical enlightenment nonsense. Nope, she was really looking for love. And it would not be with Leaf.
Previously, Nikki had showed patience on her prior date with Eric to help give him experience and confidence. But now, Nikki’s patience had all been spent at that prior date with a man who actually internalized her lessen to improve. That man was not Leaf. So, she was pulling the plug – the fastest she’d ever done so.
“I can’t.” She said bluntly. She gave a confident look of feigned remorse and then got up from the table before Joey even arrived to greet them. It was that fast – a matter of minutes – that Nikki knew things weren’t going to work out with the man that evening.
While leaving the restaurant, it hit her where she’d met this guy to arrange for a date. He’d messaged her on an app. She should have seen tonight’s events coming, and couldn’t believe that she hadn’t yet learned her lesson from blind dates requested over the app. She must have been looking to move on quickly from the dismal experience she had with Eric and overlooked the red flags on Leaf’s profile.
She passed by Joey as she was exiting his restaurant, who was shocked to see her leave so early.
“Are you okay, Nikki?” He asked.
Nikki smiled to reassure him that she was fine and there was no reason to be alarmed. But, still, she couldn’t hold in her joking to the waiter. “That man,” she said while pointing with her eyes to Leaf, “he’ll definitely have the fermented fish tonight. And if he asks what it is, just tell him that life is sex, so go with what fate has ordered for you.”
Joey chuckled loudly. “That bad, huh?”
“Can’t win them all,” she said confidently as she turned to leave the restaurant.
But it’s what Joey said in jest from behind her as she walked away which stayed with her on her short walk home. “Can you win any of ‘em?”
Nikki knew Joey was just trying to joke back with her, and that he didn’t mean it as any form of disparagement. But still, the words stung. Another night she may have even let it affect her personally, but she made the choice not to let those words arouse any feelings of worthlessness inside of her. Rather, her thoughts morphed into that one word which stood out to her just a few minutes ago.