For the first time, he realized that spending three weeks with her might be a mistake. He had a feeling he was falling for her, had probably been falling for months, and she needed more than he could ever offer. Not only that, but once she learned he’d left her in that pit, she’d hate him.
It was very likely he’d finally met a woman he could love…and she’d end up spitting in his face.
Phantom studied Kalee once more. She was sitting straight up with her hands in her lap. He’d put her by the window so no one would accidentally touch her when they walked by. She’d tolerated his arms around her, but that didn’t mean she was ready for anyone else to touch her. Or him again, for that matter.
“You don’t like flying, do you?” he asked.
She shrugged.
He took that as an agreement. “To be honest, neither do I,” he told her.
She looked at him skeptically.
“It’s true. Yes, I’ve taken more than my share of flights, but I don’t particularly like putting my life in someone else’s hands.”
That earned him a small smile. God, he’d kill to keep that look on her face.
“I know, I know, that’s so stereotypical, right? Big bad Navy SEAL can’t let go of control to let someone else fly his ass around. Well, the last time someone flew me around, I ended up with a hole in my leg.” That wasn’t exactly true, but Phantom wasn’t above exaggerating a bit to get her mind off the flight.
“What happened?”
Her words were low, and he’d barely heard them over the conversation in the cabin, the clinking of glasses, and the rumble of air circulating through the airplane, but nothing had ever sounded better. Every word she felt relaxed enough to say was a major victory.
This was a perfect time to start sharing stories about his friends. His plan over the next three weeks was to tell her about Piper, Sidney, Caite, Zoey, and Avery. He wanted her to feel as if she knew them as well as anyone so by the time she got back to Riverton, she’d allow herself to be welcomed into their friendship circle. He also planned to tell her all about his fellow SEALs.
Lastly, he wanted to assure her that, while what she went through was bad, she could still live a normal life. He was willing to share things about himself that he’d never shared with anyone before. If he could live through what he had, so could she.
The thought of sharing intimate parts of his life with anyone made him want to puke, but he’d do it for Kalee. She deserved to have the best life possible, and if he could offer that by sharing some of the fucked up things he’d lived through, he’d do it.
“I was in Afghanistan. Avery, she’s a naval nurse, was a POW. Taken captive by insurgents. We’d found her, gotten her away, and Rex, Avery, and I were on the run. A chopper came to pick us up and while we were flying away, I was shot.”
Kalee’s eyes were huge in her face and she leaned toward him a fraction.
Even that little movement made Phantom melt inside. She was leaning toward him, not away. It was a step. A small one, but a step.
“It hurt like a motherfucker. And of course in my head, I blamed that poor pilot for not flying fast enough. For not doing enough evasive maneuvers. When they pulled my ass into the chopper, I knew I was in trouble. My head was spinning and I was losing blood fast. Turns out the bullet had nicked an artery and I was bleeding out. But Avery knew exactly what to do. She didn’t have a tampon handy,” he smiled at Kalee, who returned it, then continued, “so she stuck her fingers inside my leg, clamped down on that damn torn artery, and kept talking as if nothing was wrong. She stopped the bleeding, holding on all the way until we landed and I got into the operating room.”
“Did you date?”
He loved hearing her voice, especially with how quiet she’d been, but the last thing Phantom wanted was for Kalee to think he had the hots for Avery, or any of the other women in their group. And he didn’t want to make a huge deal out of the fact she was speaking. He didn’t want her feeling self-conscious about it.
“No. It was clear from the start that she and Rex had a connection. I love all of my friends’ women, but not in a romantic sense. You have to understand, Rocco, Gumby, Ace, Bubba, and Rex are like brothers to me. I’d do anything for them. Anything. But with most others, I’m kind of an ass.”
Kalee raised an eyebrow.
Phantom shrugged. “It’s true. You can ask any of them. I usually say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I’m too blunt. I’m not the kind of guy anyone wants to hang around for long, simply because I make people uncomfortable.”
She didn’t respond, and Phantom tried not to feel disappointed by that.
The flight attendant came by to verify what they wanted to eat for dinner. After she left, Phantom was wracking his brain to think of something else to talk about when he felt something on his arm.
Looking down, he saw Kalee had placed her hand on his forearm.
She didn’t say anything, and in fact was staring out the window. But she’d reached out…to soothe him? To reassure him that she wasn’t uncomfortable around him? To reassure herself that he was still there?
He had no idea. But ultimately the why didn’t matter. What did matter was that she was touching him. Voluntarily.
Phantom didn’t dare move. Not one inch. Her fingers felt as if they were burned into his flesh. He’d never felt anything better.
Kalee wasn’t sure why she’d reached out to touch Phantom. She hadn’t liked the look in his eyes when he’d said he made people uncomfortable. It wasn’t regret, exactly, more like a bone-deep acknowledgement that he knew he was different from those around him. She didn’t know his reasons, and was shocked to realize that she wanted to know everything about the mysterious man next to her.
But she couldn’t stand the thought of him not knowing how amazing he was. She had so many things she wanted to say, but they were all stuck in the back of her throat. The only thing she could do was touch him. To show him that she wasn’t afraid of him. That she didn’t mind blunt.
It was crazy. She didn’t know this man. Not like society thought a woman should know a man before she began to have feelings for him. Intimate feelings.
She wasn’t sure she was having intimate feelings for him, actually. All she knew was that when she was with him, she wasn’t afraid a rebel would drag her back into the jungle. She knew his age, his name, his address, and that he was a Navy SEAL. But those were all superficial things. She also knew he was observant, and gentle, and that his smell reminded her of safety.
As Kalee stared out the window, she mentally shook her head in disgust. She was acting like an idiot. She’d known Phantom for like, two seconds. She was a job for him. Nothing more. And of course, she didn’t want anything to do with men. She’d seen and experienced how awful they could be firsthand. How could she ever want anything to do with one again?
But then, less than a day ago, she’d vowed never to touch another man. To never open her mouth around one so he could use her words against her, to hurt her as a result. And now, not only was she voluntarily touching Phantom, she’d spoken seven words to him.
Seven. Yes, she was counting. And she hadn’t been struck by lightning or by a fist. Nothing bad had happened, and, in fact, she’d made Phantom smile, which was something she had a feeling he didn’t do much.