The dirty bubbles swirled at her feet before they disappeared down the drain.
But then the enjoyment and high of being free faded suddenly, and the realization of just what she’d escaped pressed down on her. Of what she’d endured. Of what she’d been made to do.
Tears formed in her eyes again. She hadn’t cried in forever, and here she was crying for the second time in minutes. It was as if getting clean washed away the armor she’d donned to protect her heart and mind from the hell she was living in, leaving her vulnerable and unable to function.
Kalee’s knees went weak, and she fell to the floor, not even feeling the pain from her knees hitting the tile. The hot water rained down on her back as she bent, her arms around her stomach, her forehead resting on the floor.
She sobbed. The unfairness of her situation hitting her all at once. She couldn’t breathe, images of what she’d seen and done flashing through her brain, sickening her.
One second she was lost in her memories, and the next the water above her turned off and she felt a towel drape across her back. She should’ve freaked out when she felt hands turning her. Lifting her. But deep down inside, she knew it was Phantom. He wouldn’t hurt her. Not like the others had.
She found herself sitting on Phantom’s lap, her face buried in his chest. His beard tickled her cheek.
After a few minutes, she barely registered the sensation of her body being lifted. Clinging to him, Kalee let her mind shut down. She couldn’t take any more. Not one thing. Everything was overwhelming. Her skin, which had felt so clean a second ago, now tingled and burned with the heat of the water. The dirt flaking from her body had opened a wound so deep, she wasn’t sure it would ever heal.
“I’ve got you, precious. That’s it, let it out. You’re safe now.”
She heard his words, but they didn’t really penetrate. Kalee felt him push open the door to the bathroom and stride toward his room. The cold air felt good against her overheated skin, and she didn’t even care at the moment that she was probably flashing anyone who might happen to come down the hall.
Phantom leaned over and sat her on something soft, but she refused to let go of him. The tears wouldn’t stop either. They coursed down her face as if someone had turned on a faucet inside her.
Phantom didn’t seem to have any plans to make her let go. She felt him shifting them until she was under a sheet, and he was sitting on top of it. He readjusted the towel over her shoulders, and she snuggled into his side as he leaned against the headboard of the small bed in his room.
Squeezing her eyes shut didn’t stop her tears. Nor did it stop the images running through her brain as if they were a movie on fast forward.
The bodies of the little girls she’d gotten to know at the orphanage.
The leering expression of the first man to rape her as she fought him with all her might, to no avail.
The screams of villagers as the rebels swooped into their small towns, shooting everyone who moved.
The drunken laughter of the rebels as they celebrated the day’s haul with beer and food, making sure she didn’t get any.
The pictures went on and on in her head. Taunting her with all she’d had to endure.
How long she sobbed on Phantom, Kalee had no idea. All she knew was that with his arms around her, the nightmares couldn’t pull her under. She was watching everything that had happened to her over the last months, but Phantom was there to make sure she didn’t get sucked back in.
When she finally realized where she was again, and that she wasn’t a captive anymore, Phantom was slowly rocking her back and forth. She was still naked, but at the moment it didn’t matter. She was being touched. More than that, she was clinging to Phantom as if she’d fly away if she let go.
But she wasn’t embarrassed. Mostly because of Phantom. He wasn’t telling her to hush. Wasn’t begging her to stop crying, as she figured most badass Navy SEALs probably would. Instead, he was murmuring for her to let it out. To cry as long as she needed to. To cleanse her soul…that nothing she did was her fault.
Feeling exhausted, Kalee tried to lift her head. Tried to get her muscles to obey, to let go of the man under her. But Phantom simply tightened his hold.
“Close your eyes, Kalee. Rest.”
But they needed to go. He’d said they had to get to the embassy and catch a flight.
As if he could read her mind, Phantom said, “We’ve got time. I’ve got you. Sleep. Just for a bit. I’ll wake you when we need to go. You’re safe, Kalee.”
She felt safe. For someone who hated being touched, it sure felt good to have Phantom’s arms around her.
One second she was wondering why his touch didn’t freak her out, and the next, she was out.
When she woke up, Kalee had no idea how much time had passed. She was no longer snuggled up to Phantom, but on her side on the twin bed, clutching a pillow in her grasp. She had a sheet pulled up to her shoulders and, surprisingly, she felt pretty good. Not great, but a little less raw than before. And she seemed to be thinking better now too. Before, she’d been on autopilot. Simply reacting, not thinking.
Turning her head, she saw Phantom sitting on the end of the bed. He had one hand on her calf and was staring off into space. She could see the muscles in his jaw flexing and his lips were pressed together as if he was pissed off at something, or someone.
Instead of being scared of him, however, Kalee relaxed further. He hadn’t left her. Even when she’d been fast asleep, she knew he’d been right there next to her, standing guard.
She moved slowly, sitting up, tugging the sheet to cover her as she did.
Phantom immediately moved. His hand came off her leg and he stood, backing up. Putting at least five feet between the bed and himself. Giving her space.
He studied her for a moment before saying, “You look better.” His gaze gentled for a second, and Kalee was fascinated to see the change. Up until that point, she’d only seen pain and determination.
But right in front of her eyes, he hardened. It should’ve worried her, but instead, something deep inside her decided that she’d do whatever it took to see the real him again.
“I was going to wake you up in another ten minutes. We need to get going. Your clothes are over there on the dresser, and we’ll stop to get something to eat on the way to the embassy. I’ve got a comb in my pack you can use and feel free to pilfer anything you want from my shave kit. Although I have to warn you that I don’t have any frou-frou shit, like flowery lotion, and my deodorant is from the men’s aisle.
“When we get to the rental in Oahu, we can go shopping and get you razors, makeup, lotion…whatever other stuff women think they need to look good. It’s all bullshit, but whatever. You gonna be all right, getting dressed on your own? I can find the owner of this place to help you if you need it. She’s a bit gruff and doesn’t speak English, but she’ll still be happy to assist for a nice tip.”
Kalee wanted to tell Phantom that she didn’t mind if she smelled like him. In fact, she couldn’t think of anything more soothing right now than his scent. She also wanted to tell him that she didn’t need any frou-frou shit, and a little makeup wasn’t going to magically make her look good, not with her hair, weight loss, and bruises. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to say any of it. But she really wanted Phantom to know how appreciative she was.