He held her hands again, unable to resist the urge to sooth her. “Is there any chance we will be able to convince you to stay? That bonding to us is not a fate worse than death?”
Her blue green eyes met his own, tears gathering in the corners. “Chel, I already like you. A lot. More than I ever thought I would. I even like Gwarnon, when he isn’t being a robotic douche. I feel things for you both that I’ve never experienced before. Powerful things. And, God knows, you’re so hot, I could stare at you all day and the sight would never grow old. The fact that you want to be with me is still surreal, but I’m starting to think this soul bond bullshit isn’t bullshit. I’m starting to think it’s very real, and I don’t know if that scares me more or makes me insanely happy. Every woman—hell, every person—wants to find the love of their life. I just never thought the love of my life might be two guys.”
“You love us?”
She shook her head in denial, her golden curls catching the light. “I don’t know what I feel. I just know that I think about you all the time. Even when I should be worried about the upcoming fight, when I have a million other things I could be thinking about, I find myself thinking of you. I even dream of you.”
He gently gripped her hands in his own, giving them a squeeze as he said, “Good dreams?”
She licked her lips in a way that left no doubt as to the nature of these dreams. “Very. But it still doesn’t change the fact that things are…complicated right now.”
Hating the reality of their situation, he nodded. “Complicated is a good word to describe this.”
The smile she gave him held a hint of relief, and her hands relaxed in his, making his muscles do the same. “Thank you for taking the time to explain stuff to me. And for cluing me in on Gwarnon.”
“I will always be here for you, Lacey. To talk about anything you wish.” Part of him wanted to ask her for the kiss that would Transform her, but his instincts told him to wait, that the time wasn’t yet right. “And, speaking of Gwarnon, we should probably head back before he gets too jealous.”
Instead of laughing, a frown line appeared between Lacey’s eyebrows. “Why would he be jealous? It’s not like we did anything.”
“You let me hold your hand. You touched my face.”
A light pink flush hit her high, wide cheekbones as her gaze flickered up to his. “So?”
“Other than training, you never willingly let either of us show our physical affection for you.” He deliberately slipped his hand into hers, warmth instantly filling him as touch strengthened the bond between them. “And Gwarnon is jealous because he was deprived of a loving touch when he was a child. He craves affection and has looked forward to the day when he finally had his alyah and could shower her with all the love he has to give. Love his mother rejected.”
Lacey looked down at their joined hands, a confusing sense of guilt, anger, and a growing sense of determination filtering through their bond.
“And I’ve rejected his love as well. Insulted and badgered him, made him go cold.” Lacey’s shoulders slumped. “Hurt him just to be a bitch.”
“You didn’t know about his youth or his family.”
She continued to stare at their hands, her bond closing off bit by bit until he could barely feel her anymore. All he could sense was that she’d come to some kind of decision. “I’ll make this right.”
“What are—?”
A high-level message pinged at his subconscious, and he was silent as he received it, then he smiled. “Lady Roxy has awoken from her transformation. I must get and attend her.”
The smile Lacey gave him back was genuine, and he marveled at how it transformed her face from its usual severe beauty to something softer. “Go, take care of her. I’m going to apologize to Gwarnon.”
“Thank you.” He pulled her into a hug, his whole body warming as she allowed him the intimacy.
She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest, and for one blissful moment, Lacey shared his happiness.
Chapter 4
Gwarnon
Pacing the empty practice arena, Gwarnon was ready to put his head through the wall.
Over and over again.
Lacey Taylor was the most frustrating, stubborn, intelligent, honorable, and driven females he’d ever met. And she was also the most confusing. One minute, she’d be responding to their flirting, the scent of her desire filling the air around her in a delicious cloud of lust. For an instant, he’d feel her soul, feel the brush of her powerful but gentle spirit, then the next moment she’d once again have an impenetrable wall up between her spirit and his.
It was frustrating beyond belief because they could not figure out what was stopping her from responding to their attentions. If he had some idea of her background, of who she was and where she’d been, they would be able to better plan a winning courtship. But they didn’t dare research Lacey or mention her by name to anyone, not wanting to draw any attention to her. The longer she stayed anonymous, the better her chances for survival. Already Nosa and Cormac had received word that rumors had reached the High Congress that human women would be competing in the Baladium.
Only a few more days until it would be too late to transform Lacey and give her the best chances possible of surviving the Baladium.
Thankfully, Roxy had just completed her transformation into a Matriarch, and Chel was checking on her right now.
Envy nipped at Gwarnon as he wished with all his might that Lacey would allow them to begin her transformation. They had done everything they could possibly think of to win her heart. And now they were at a loss as to how to get Lacey to see that being their Matriarch would be the best decision she could ever make. The only thing he could do was pray to a Creator that he wasn’t sure was listening.
At least he had some new information to work with. Nosa, Rastar, and Lord Rell had given him a brief tutorial on the sexual differences between the women of Earth and most Kadothian compatible females found in the Bel’Tan Galaxy. From what they had shared, human women’s sex was shaped differently from what Kadothian men expected. Nothing extreme, but the pleasure bud was located on the outside, instead of inside, the vaginal sheath. It made for easy manipulation, and Cormac swore it was the secret to pleasuring an Earth woman. He said they responded especially well to oral pleasure, and that they had the most delicious tasting arousal in all of the Universe.
His cock started to fill and he forced himself to think of something other than lapping between Lacey’s spread thighs like a man dying of thirst. He wanted to feel her wetness, to rub his face in it and cover himself with her scent, to bring her to release over and over again. Lord of Life knew, she needed it.
Lacey was so filled with anger, fear, and sadness that all she wanted to do was hurt anyone in her path. He understood the need to lash out in pain, but that didn’t take the sting out of being on the receiving end of her sharp tongue. Her verbal barrage had been enough to drive him behind his walls, which seemed to infuriate her. Instead of growing closer, the more time they spent together, the further they were forcing each other apart.
He was beginning to lose hope that they would ever be able to convince her they were not her enemy.