Lacey sagged back into her chair, holding the pillow so tight, her knuckles turned white. “Fucking shit, I feel horrible. I didn’t mean to hurt him like that. I was just joking with him. I didn’t know he’d been abused.”
“Just joking?” Chel arched a brow as he laced his fingers together and stared at her. “You were not using him as an outlet for your frustration?”
She gave a dry chuckle and shifted uncomfortably. “You know, my drill instructor used to look at me like that when I did something particularly stupid. Yeah, I won’t bother lying, ‘cause I have a feeling you could tell. I might have taken a little bit of my frustration out on y’all, but I didn’t know Gwarnon would take it personally. I…” Tears shimmered in her gaze for a moment before she blinked them away. “I didn’t know. God, I’m such a bitch. Seriously, I am the last person that would want to bully someone else, hurt them like that, ever.”
“I believe you.” He wanted to reach out and hug away her miserable expression, but he held himself back. “Gwarnon is an exceptional man, alyah, and I swear to you he will be an amazing husband. I know our culture is hard for you to understand without the full knowledge of a crystal implant, but trust me when I say Gwarnon is one of the best men you will ever meet. Despite having been raised in such a corrupt court, he managed to come out with his honor and sense of compassion intact. He sacrifices everything to keep the people his mother rules safe, pretending in public to be under her sway, so he can buy them protection.”
Lacey drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair, her lips thinning out into a frown. “If she’s such an evil person, why don’t they arrest her or whatever?”
“It is extremely complicated, but suffice to say Lady Melissi is powerful, and she uses that power to protect herself. Plus, one of her husbands has precognition. He gets glimpses of the future that further allow her to avoid detection and punishment. Not to mention all the people she has blackmailed, bribed, and bought over the centuries.”
“She sounds like the evil Queen in a fairytale.”
“I am not sure what a fairytale is, but Lady Melissi would indeed make a good evil queen in one of our epic sagas.”
Lacey chewed on her pink lower lip for a moment, distracting him with the desire to kiss her. “And, if I bonded you guys, she’d be like—my mother-in-law? Yikes.”
Happiness flooded him to hear that she was even considering bonding with them. The fact that she’d been thinking about it made him want to rejoice. Tightening his shields so his emotions wouldn’t leak out to her, he tried to appear casual as he nodded.
“Yes. But do not fear, we are powerful and have been working toward a day when we are strong enough to be free of Lady Melissi’s control and protect our people.”
Her gaze grew distant, and her pupils expanded and contracted slightly as she accessed her crystal implant. Though she was only getting drops of information instead of the river that flowed through his own head, he waited patiently until her attention returned to him. There was a new sadness in her eyes, and she let out a long sigh.
“Your legal system is very complex.”
“It is.” He gave her a half-smile. “Then again, the Kadothian society has been around for roughly five times as long as the earliest human society. Things tend to get a little complicated over that much time.”
Lacey rubbed her forehead, the little line appearing between her brows that surfaced when she was thinking deeply. “That’s crazy. I mean, when I really think about it, the concept of how old your society is? It’s hard to even grasp. The people of Earth must seem like toddlers to you.”
“No.” He smiled as he stood, enjoying the way she eyed his body with appreciation. “Not toddlers, but your society is still very young. That is why we’re so careful to not disturb your planet during our bride hunt, and why we are so strict about Earth brides returning to the Milky Way galaxy after they become Matriarchs. We do not want to unduly influence the development of your people.”
Anxiety, sorrow, and fear burned through their bond a moment before she closed her side of their connection down.
Her voice was soft, and careful as she said, “So if I become a Matriarch, I’ll never be able to return to Earth? What about my mother? Can I at least see her one more time?”
He hated that he had to deny her what she wanted, but he shook her head. “We can petition and see what the High Congress says due to your unusual situation, but I will not lie to you and say the chances are high. Gwarnon….” He hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should share this information with her yet. “Gwarnon may be able to smuggle you through the wormhole to say goodbye, but again, that is a very slim chance. Getting through the wormhole is not easy, it requires a special kind of ship and crew. And getting through undetected by the Kadothian military is even harder.”
Grasping her hands into fists in the fabric of the pillow, Lacey stared up at him with an intense expression. “But it can be done?”
“It can. The smugglers that kidnapped you and Lacey managed to do it. But it will be extremely dangerous, and Gwarnon may not even agree to put you in such peril.” He slowly reached out, giving her time to object as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Would being our bondmate truly be so bad? Could you not find happiness on Kadothia, with us as your mates? Please, Lacey, give us a chance. We were meant to be together, destined from the moment the universe began to belong to each other. And we have worked so hard for you, secretly setting up a Territory right beneath Lady Melissi’s nose, finding loyal people to serve in your court, building our wealth so we can afford to take care of those harmed by Lady Melissi and her plots. I have been dreaming about you since the moment I was born. What more do we have to do to prove ourselves as worthy?”
Lacey made a pained noise, her throat working as she threw hear head back against the chair and swallowed hard before saying, “It’s me, I’m the one who isn’t worthy. You’re too good for me. Don’t you see? You and Gwarnon are like…heroes on Kadothia. I’ve been able to access little bits of information on you both, though it wasn’t easy. What I found about you…well, it humbled me to realize all the amazing things you’ve done. You’ve saved so many lives, and if half of what you say about Gwarnon is true, well— there should be statues devoted to him. Streets named after him.”
He brought her hand to his cheek, letting out a soft sigh when she began to stroke his jaw with her thumb. “I would not tell Gwarnon such things. He would be insufferable.”
Laughing, she trailed curious fingertips over his face with a soft expression, watching him carefully as she stroked over his cheekbones, across the bridge of his nose, then down his jaw to his lips before returning her hand to her lap, much to his disappointment.
“I can’t. I can’t feel this way. I have to go back,” she whispered with such anguish that it made his own heart ache. “I have to go back.”
“Alyah,” his voice broke as he stared into her eyes, “please, please do not abandon us. I am begging you.”
Her eyes were wet with tears and her chin quivered as she said, “I have to go back to Earth, no matter how much I wish I could just stay with you. I understand how lucky I am that we found each other. I’ve learned…absorbed…whatever, from my crystal implant that the life of a Matriarch is considered a great honor and prize. No, not a prize, argh—it’s so hard to describe what I’m trying to say.”