It all spilled out of me in what sounded like a run-on sentence, the punctuation barely intact. That’s how it all felt inside too. Hot and messy and pushy and rude—a monster clawing to be unleashed. Only in that moment did I realize the creature had been prowling for a while, waiting for the right chance to destroy my composure and roar free.
“Missy?”
“What about her?” I barked.
“Did you rename your 240sx ‘Missy’?”
“Well, the alter-ego thing, remember? Suits her, don’t you think?”
“Of course it does.”
His gentle response, along with the recognition that he truly remembered why I’d been calling my car by a different name, settled my tone by a few octaves. All the while, he kept grinning. Because he got the reference.
Because he got me.
“Don’t try to distract me. I’m pissed at you for leaving that letter there. It was a total ball-less-wonder maneuver.”
He broke out into new laughter, half choking between his answering words. “Ball-less…wonder?”
“What? You want to pretend it was courageous to write all that shit in a letter and leave it on my car?” My tone danced on the borderline of bitch, but I didn’t care. I’d been ramping up for this moment for weeks. Each day, every day. Ramping. Readying. For exactly this chance. To take enough of a chunk out of the good doctor so he bled too. So he hurt just as deeply as I had on the night he dropped that soul-crushing letter on me.
“It’s the only way you’d hear me out, Taylor.”
“Hear you out?”
“You heard me. Or did you?”
He was so fucking sane about it. Trying to make the shit sound like…logic.
“Sure.” I spun around and advanced on him, leading the action with my head. I probably looked like a goose on crack, but I didn’t fucking care about that either. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“What?” He spread a smile, so gorgeously benign. And then added his stunning stare, full of such tender adoration that I wasn’t sure whether to slap him or maul him. “Have you ever tried having a serious conversation with you, Taylor?”
I screwed my face up tight. “That’s…absurd.”
“Well, you know what I mean.”
“So it was my fault? Am I hearing you correctly?” I whooshed back, both arms up with my palms facing out. “You really should have texted. Easier, faster, and just as high on the douchebag scale.”
He paled for a moment as my words seemed to finally sink in. After inhaling and then exhaling deeply, he stated, “I’m sorry, then.”
I sputtered. Lovely. Guess it was better than looking like a rehab-ready goose. “You’re…”
“Sorry,” he filled in, clearly meaning it. “Sorry if I handled things wrong. Sorry if my method wasn’t right. I hope you can forgive me for that. But now, I really hope we can work on us”—there was the word again—“because I’ve missed you so much.”
I sucked in a long breath of my own. “You…you have?”
“Yeah.” He stared harder at me. “I’ve realized over the past couple of weeks without you that I want you to be a part of my life. All the ways you make me smile and laugh…and yeah, even rage and go a little nuts…I want all of it, Taylor.” He braced himself directly in front of me, reaching down to wrap both my hands inside his steady, certain grip. “I want to do what it takes for that to happen.”
And finally, he paused again. He just stared down at me with those intense greens, encompassing me in his strong hold and letting me process everything about what he’d said.
His confession was…healing. My fire was cooled, my anger chopped in half. But shit, that meant my resolve was caving. Fast. “I would like that, as well.”
See, Doc? I can be an adult too.
He grinned as if I’d just declared we were truly going to Disneyland. “Okay. So maybe we can make some sort of plan?” The hopeful look on his face returned while he dipped his toe in the still-stormy waters of us. But at least now there was an us.
“Okay,” I answered. “What are you doing next weekend? And don’t think we’re done discussing a certain communiqué.”
“I have my first race at Thermal. Finally.” His tone changed when an idea struck. “Hey! Why don’t you come? The house is finished, and you can stay if you’d like.”
“I’ll text you. I may already have plans.” I was dying to just tell him yes but didn’t want to make it too easy for him. Though he smirked like he already knew that, as well. Glorious, gorgeous, pompous ass.
“Okay.” And yep, there went the supremely self-pleased head nod. “I’m glad I saw you here today,” he said, tucking a kiss to my cheek. “Now go eat. I, regrettably, have to leave. I’m on call and have to go do rounds.”
I paused for a few beats. I didn’t want to see him leaving already, now that we were on some sort of mending trajectory. “Happy Memorial Day, Mac.” I looked directly into his carved, forceful face. I couldn’t believe life was giving me a second chance with this smart-as-hell, sexy-as-fuck man. But was I brave enough to go for it? To make this happen now?
I prayed the answer was yes.
That somewhere deep inside me, yes was really going to happen this time.
“Same to you, Sassy.”
He hugged me again, bussing me on the forehead as we pulled apart. I already missed everything about him. The way my arms felt around him, the way he smelled, the way my heart sped up when he was near me… All of it.
I wanted him so much.
And couldn’t wait to see him again.
I walked back into the house with a stupid smile on my face, almost colliding with three impatient and expectant women. Claire, Margaux, and Talia, my three closest friends in the world, standing with hands on their hips and grins on their lips, all but tapping their red-white-blue-pedicured toes, waiting for every detail about what had just happened behind that closed door.
But honestly, I wasn’t sure I knew myself.
Chapter Two
Mac
Time became the cage that confined me. Something that felt like madness set in as the days dragged on. First there was Tuesday in the clinic and then a dragged-out Wednesday from hell in my office catching up on dictations and paperwork. I welcomed Thursday, as my surgical rotation always sped by. By the time we sutured Mr. Creager’s cranial incision, most of the hospital was quiet for the evening.
There was actually a bounce in my step as I walked through the parking structure, readying to go home. Tomorrow I’d head out to Thermal. On the following day, my perfect Taylor would be back in my arms—and then beneath my body, if fortune chose to smile my way.
Fuck, I missed her. Everything about her. Her silly jokes and the even sillier way she always laughed at them. The look on her face when she thought of something kind to do for someone else but then quickly attempted to cover up the softness in her demeanor with some smart remark. All the things she didn’t think I knew about her. All the things she didn’t even know about herself.
And then there were the more obvious things. All the shit that drove my senses crazy and woke my cock with matching speed—especially when she let me put the pedal to the metal on those urges. Her creamy skin, always smelling like whatever lotion had hit her fancy that week. Her fluffy, fresh-fucked hair that tickled my cheeks when she snuggled against me after I’d screwed her through a few gasping, gorgeous orgasms…