The Tree
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
~Maya Angelou, Caged Bird
A vast canvas of emerald green stretches before us, dotted with colorful wildflowers, towering trees, moss covered boulders, bushes and plants and all manner of nature. The day is warm, and a cool breeze teases my skin. Sebastian rests his hands on my shoulders and uses his strong fingers to rub the knots of tension out of my muscles. I lean into him, closing my eyes, enjoying the feel of him at my back as he massages me. The scent of wildflowers carries on the wind, and I breathe it all in and smile.
"You've been at this for hours," he says, his lips brushing my earlobe as he speaks. "Ready for a break?"
I open my eyes and look around, then sigh. "There's still too much to do," I say. "The people need food. What good is this new expanse of Otherworld Ava'Kara gave her life to create if it's not livable?"
In the wake of what happened nearly a month ago, I thought things would be easier for the magical folk who claimed this new land as their home. It didn't take long to realize the world expansion created new problems. There were no homes, no farms, no food sources. It was an untamed wilderness that was created raw and uninhabitable by anyone but woodland creatures and dryads.
And few of us had the kind of magic needed to make this part of the world more hospitable. Which means for the past several weeks, the Night brothers, Lily, and myself have been working tirelessly to cultivate this new land for those displaced.
For many long days after that night, I feared my magic would never return. I was more exhausted than I'd ever been in my life. Even the revelation that I was one of the Fates returned couldn't penetrate the fog that surrounded me. I spent most of that time unconscious.
Callia, the unicorn I inadvertently pulled into this world, disappeared shortly after telling me I was one of the Fates reincarnated. For a time I was convinced I hallucinated her.
The brothers nursed me back to health with Liam and Matilda's disgusting potions, Sebastian's back rubs, Derek's wry jokes to make me laugh, and Elijah's gentle voice reading to me when I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to read for myself. I snuggled Liam's baby, cuddled in front of the fire on long nights, listened to Liam playing his violin, and I soaked in the love and affection offered to me. I tried hard not to think about Cole, but his ghost haunted me. It's now impossible to feel like we are a complete family without him.
I glance down at my ring, his ring, and twist it on my finger, a melancholy settling over me. Sebastian notices and pulls me tighter into an embrace, his arms circling my waist as I lay my head against his chest and settle my hands over his heart.
He kisses the top of my head and sighs. "I think about him too."
"He belongs with us," I say, sadly.
Sebastian doesn't respond. I know it's complicated for him. For all of the Night brothers. They feel guilt and anger in equal measure. I have no guilt, but somehow my anger is dimmed. Despite the fact that Cole betrayed me in such a heinous way, taking the form of my twin brother, convincing me Adam was not only still alive but had committed monstrous acts of violence against the innocent,I can’t help but think of all that he has gone through that led him up to that moment and forgive him. Cole is a man tortured by his past, both by acts done to him as well as those he himself has committed out of anger and vengeance. Did his brothers deserve his wrath? Perhaps. But justice without mercy becomes tainted by its own misguided righteousness. We need the tempering influence of compassion and forgiveness, otherwise we risk perpetuating a self-destructive cycle that can only end badly for everyone.
I could stay angry at him forever. He would deserve it, if that's how we are meant to measure justice. But if I consider what he's been through, where he came from, what his life cost him… it's harder to stay angry. Perspective shapes our perception of life. And his story gives me a different perspective of his actions. They have to be seen together. His choices don't exist in a vacuum. We are, all of us, stories told and retold with layers that cannot be ignored if we want the truth of a thing. So who can possibly measure the weight of a person's soul? Who among us can ever truly know what another deserves?
I choose to believe we all deserve forgiveness. Mercy. Love. Compassion. Perspective.
I can offer that to Cole at least.
I can't yet offer it to Jerry, but someday maybe I'll be able to see the brokenness in him and forgive him for what he did to me as well as to Mary and her child.
Near us, something explodes, sending dirt and rock flying through the air. Sebastian attempts to shield me with his body, but I use my power to subdue the debris, letting it fall harmlessly back to the ground with ease.
He shakes his head, grinning, his forest green eyes sparkling. His wild, dark hair is dusted with specks of dirt, and his simple shirt clings to his broad chest and shoulders, muscles rippling under the stretched fabric. He's like a sculpture carved from the very earth. He's definitely in his element here. "I'm still not used to how powerful you've become since the spell you performed."
"Neither am I," I say. "But it feels good. I can tell there's still so much untapped in me that I want to explore."
"Slowly," he says. "Don't push yourself too hard. We still don't know what you being a Fate means or how it will impact your abilities, your health, or even your life span."
I roll my eyes. This has been a constant discussion since my powers returned. Once I was well enough to get about on my own, I accidentally blew up the kitchen trying to light the fire. We all realized then that not only had I not lost my powers, but I had unlocked them to the nth degree. They flooded me in a dizzying avalanche of magic I am slowly learning to control.
That's when Callia returned. She showed up after the explosion and smiled widely. "I've been waiting for you to wake up and recover your strength," she said. "I'm here to train you, as I have trained all the Fates before you."
"You'll teach me how to use my powers?" I asked, stunned.
But then everyone looked at me strangely. "This is Callia," I told them, gesturing to her, but she shook her head.
"They cannot see me. Only you. While you have brought my spirit back, my body is no longer viable."
And so I had to explain to the Night brothers that I had an invisible unicorn to train me.
There was some concern I'd done damage to my brain after the spell, but Elijah was the first to point out that the Fates have always been able to see what others couldn't. He felt it made sense, so the others backed off. They're still wigged out by it though, I can tell.
It was actually Callia's idea to use my powers to cultivate this land, and it was a brilliant one. Not only am I doing good, but it's a practical way to stretch and test what I can do.
Everyday I'm gaining discipline under the scrutinizing eyes of the brothers and the fleeting attentions of Callia who comes and goes at her whim.
Liam strolls over, a huge grin on his face, his golden eyes flashing and his auburn red hair in sexy disarray. His simple trousers and sleeveless shirt are tinged with burn marks. "Sorry about that. I was trying something new and it got a bit out of control."