What have I done to you? I had this amazing guy right in front of me, who couldn’t do more for me if he tried, and he thought he was losing me. And I hadn’t been giving him many signs to the contrary. I’d put him at the bottom of my priority list time and time again.
“I’m sorry.” I grabbed for his hands. “I don’t want you to feel that way. I love you. I do want you, and I do want to be with you, and you’re definitely not going to lose me. I promise. No more cancelled dates, and no more scatterbrained Ryann. I’ll do better, I swear.”
I wondered if I should tell him the whole truth, then and there. All this lying was driving me insane, and it felt worse knowing that it was driving a wedge between us. I didn’t want to lose him, but straddling two worlds had backed me into a corner. I couldn’t hide my new life from him forever, now that the magical world had become such a huge part of my existence. But I couldn’t explain without breaking a lot of rules. Plus, what if I told him and he took it badly? What if he freaked out and had to have his mind wiped?
And then there’s Finch… I needed to keep helping Finch, and that meant more meetings like today. Adam would have to meet him again, and I’d have to explain that I’d been working closely with him. I’d probably have to try and describe our odd friendship, too. Heck, I’d probably have to do that even if I didn’t tell Adam about the magical world. I couldn’t cast Finch aside, not in his hour of need. But that wouldn’t be an easy conversation with Adam.
Finch had been right about his first impression of Adam—my boyfriend didn’t like my friend much. Well, it was more that he didn’t trust Finch; he thought there was something off about him. If he heard the way Finch called him every serial killer name under the sun, he’d probably form an even worse impression. But maybe it was just because they didn’t know each other. Ugh. I wished I could find a way to reconcile all these aspects of my life in one smooth, fell swoop.
“What if you didn’t have to worry about dates and things?” Adam asked.
Is he… breaking up with me? “What do you mean?”
“Well, since you’re so busy, and I’m so busy, why don’t I just move in with you?” He smiled, a hint of mischief in his eyes. “At least we’d see each other more often that way, even if we were just ships passing in the night. We could leave notes on the bathroom mirror. And you’d never miss a date again, because we could have them all right here.”
“Are you serious?” I arched a nervous eyebrow.
He shrugged. “Maybe not. I’d probably spend more time out in the hallway, waiting to be let in while you put on a sweater.”
“And you’d be searching my curtains for hidden men!” I laughed too hard, my bout of hysterics echoing false. And if I could hear it, he definitely could. I even punched him in the arm, trying to cover my anxiety and shock with a display of manic hilarity.
Adam started to laugh but with way less vigor. In fact, it sounded downright awkward. A flicker of disappointment crossed his face. It made me sick to my stomach, watching him squirm. This clearly wasn’t quite the reaction he’d expected. And, honestly, if he’d asked me six months ago, maybe this wouldn’t have been the reaction I gave.
Four
Finch
Leaving Krieger and his protégé to hatch their Halloween scheme, I left the infirmary with my haul of books. I had no idea where to put them. There hadn’t been time to discuss that before Ryann booted me out of her apartment for the sake of Captain Canuck’s ego. I figured the best place to store them would be the Alton Waterhouse Room.
In a display of magical prowess, I sent a stream of Mimicry through the Telekinetic strands and matched the book bags to their surroundings, just in case I happened to bump into Miranda Bontemps or O’Halloran, or pretty much anyone who might have some questions about why I was hefting around an entire library. It was the closest thing to an invisibility cloak you could get, outside of fiction.
Fifteen weary minutes later, I arrived outside the Alton Waterhouse Room. Even with the help of magic, these books were friggin’ weighty. My muscles were doing a Popeye, and the underarms of my T-shirt had turned unpleasantly damp.
I paused before entering, hearing the sound of voices inside. Curious, I knocked and pushed the door open. “Yello?”
Harley and Wade turned, surprised. “Finch?” My dear old sis spoke first.
“We were just talking about you,” Wade added.
“All good things, I hope.” I laughed, slightly nervous.
“That depends on whether you think Erebus is a good thing.” Wade scraped back his stool and stood, as if I were a fine lady who’d just walked in. Ah, the manners of high society.
I pulled a face. “Nope.”
“Why the red face?” Harley came over, wearing a suspicious expression.
“Can’t a guy look like a beet for no reason?” I grinned and released the Mimicry hiding the book bags.
“Some light reading?” Wade chuckled as I dumped the books on the ground and heaved an almighty sigh of relief.
“Ryann’s idea. She wanted to research Atlantis, see if there were any stories in here that might give us some clue about our next step.” I hesitated. “She asked me to put them here for later, you know, so we could sift through them again.”
Harley smirked. “You got kicked out, didn’t you?”
“Huh?” I feigned ignorance.
“You were supposed to be meeting at her apartment, weren’t you?” Harley knelt and picked through the dusty tomes. “What happened? Did Adam show up or something?”
My cheeks burned a tiny bit more. “Something like that. I didn’t want to intrude, so I vamoosed. You know, couple time and all that. Watching folks smooch and canoodle isn’t my idea of a fun afternoon. So, just in case you were about to start with the PDA, please don’t. I’d hate to empty my stomach on this sacred ground.”
Wade and Harley exchanged a conspiratorial look. Man, I hated couples sometimes. Especially the pseudo-telepathic part. Way to make me feel like a third wheel.
“Well, your timing couldn’t be better.” Wade came over to look at the books with his fiancée. I’d never get used to seeing that sparkler on her finger. I imagined it’d be weirder when they added an actual wedding ring.
Ugh, I have to get through a wedding without embarrassing myself or anyone else… If the Macarena came on, it’d be game over. But they hadn’t mentioned any plans yet, so maybe it’d be a long engagement.
Harley nodded. “We finished all the smooching and canoodling and were getting down to business.”
“What you two do in here is something I never want to hear about!” I protested with mock horror.
“Not that kind of business. We were discussing the Erebus situation,” Harley replied with an obligatory eye roll.
Wade nodded, the Tweedle-Dum to her Tweedle-Dee. “We’ve been thinking of coordinating a task force, but since we don’t know Erebus’s endgame, it’s kind of tricky to make a solid action plan.”
“You have that kind of power?” I arched an eyebrow. “Those uniforms must be working for you.”