He thought I worked at the local government office, interning in regional affairs. Given the strict rules about telling humans of the magicals’ existence, I had no leeway where that was concerned. I’d wanted to tell him the truth, but I didn’t know what the repercussions might be. Bad, I assumed.
“I’d be a hypocrite if I told you to take it easy, but—I miss you. I miss being able to come over because you’re not buried in work. I respect that you need to get into ultimate political warrior mode, but that doesn’t stop me from missing you every evening we spend apart,” he said, draping his arm around the back of the couch. “Though, I guess I’ll have to get used to it, if I’m going to be a FMOTUS one day.”
I snorted. “A what?”
“First man of the United States. Or would it be ‘husband’? I doubt it’d be ‘lord,’ since we don’t have those. Maybe I’d be a FBOTUS—first boyfriend of the United States.” He plucked up a spring roll and devoured it whole. “That has a ring to it. A bit naval.”
“Or a FDOTUS—first doctor of the United States.” I nestled into his broad chest, letting his steady heartbeat calm mine.
“I reckon the senators’ heads would explode. They wouldn’t know what to make of a female president, and I, for one, can’t wait to see it happen.” He wrapped his arm around me. “It’d be a good thing to have a doctor on hand when that day comes, so I can piece all the exploded heads back together.”
I giggled. “To be honest, I’m not sure politics is really my thing. I like my job, sure, but I’m not sure I want to do it for the rest of my life.”
“Are you thinking of going back to law?” We’d talked about this, after I’d dropped out of UCLA to join the SDC. He’d been supportive and wonderful but a touch confused, given how passionate I’d been about becoming a badass lawyer, taking names and chewing gum. But I couldn’t explain to him that I’d found something better. Something that made me want to jump out of bed in the morning, even if I’d gone to bed at four a.m. because of drama at the coven. I wanted to share every part of my life with Adam… but rules were rules. Well, unless Finch was involved. Then, I tended to start breaking them.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I want to see how this internship goes and whether it leads to anything more inspiring.”
I wonder if the heads of the United Covens’ leaders would explode if they had a human president. The United Covens had already had a female president, after President Price had been murdered by Katherine. Helena Caldwell had been influenced by Katherine’s mental manipulation pills and had been replaced after her death. At least they were more open to the idea of a woman in charge, but a human might’ve been a step too far.
What if I could get magical powers of my own? Maybe then they’d accept me. That had been on my mind a lot recently. Not that I wanted to be their president, but I had a faint, persistent longing to truly be one of the coven, like Harley and Finch and the rest of the Rag Team. A magical in my own right. Being involved in this Erebus stuff had made me realize how vulnerable humans were, and honestly, I envied the magicals. I wanted to be useful to them. I managed well enough without magic, but with powers…
“Earth to Ryann.” Adam brushed back my hair. “You alive down there?”
I peeked up. “I was just thinking.”
“Work stuff?”
“Yeah…”
“Did you not want me to stop by?” He sounded sad. “I wouldn’t have minded if you wanted a rain check.”
I twisted to get a better look at him, furrowing my brows. “What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know.” He glanced away from me. A sure sign that he did know.
“Adam… come on.”
He sighed. “It just seemed like you forgot I was coming over. I know you’re trying to keep on top of everything, so I don’t mind, but you looked shocked when you opened the door.”
“I’m sorry, Adam. I’m a total scatterbrain.” I felt like all I ever did these days was apologize to him for one thing or another, through no fault of his own. He always reacted so sweetly and thoughtfully, saying he didn’t mind so I didn’t feel bad. But I kept right on messing up: missed coffee dates where he’d sat alone for half an hour, countless rounds of rearranging dates, telling him not to come over so I could spend more time at the SDC. The list went on.
“You just care about your work. It’s one of the things I admire most about you.” He smiled so wide it broke my heart. “I also admire these beautiful rosy cheeks.” He kissed them tenderly. “And this forehead. And this nose. And this chin. And this neck. And these lips.” He planted a gentle kiss after every sentence, making me melt.
“How did I get so lucky, huh?” I toyed with the edge of his T-shirt.
He shook his head. “I’m the lucky one.”
“Let’s agree to disagree.”
He kissed me again, letting it linger in the most delicious way. “Actually, since we’ve both been working like crazy,” he said, “what do you say to going away on that tropical weekend we’ve been talking about?”
He’d been trying to plan a weekend vacation for the last month, and I’d kept postponing.
I grimaced. “I can’t, Adam. I don’t know when work might need me, so I can’t just leave for a weekend. You know what it’s like. You get beeped all the time.”
“But I also get annual leave,” he replied. “This internship has to have some vacation days.”
“Please, can we not talk about this?” I sensed a storm brewing, and I wanted to hide from it before the lightning struck. “I can’t go away with you yet. When things are more settled, I’ll have some vacation days. But I need to be in San Diego right now in case they call and need me.”
He nodded solemnly. “Well… how about a break outside the city? Far enough to be a vacation but close enough that you can come back if they call you?”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t go an hour outside the city?” A note of exasperation rippled through his voice.
I placed my palms on his chest. “There’s a lot going on, and I don’t want to miss it. But soon. I promise, soon we’ll go away somewhere.”
“Have I done something wrong?” His eyes glimmered like a wounded puppy’s.
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then why do I feel like you don’t want me here?” He lowered his gaze and reached for another spring roll, only to put it back down. It might’ve been the saddest action I’d ever witnessed, and I was responsible for it.
“Hey. I do want you here.” I sat up and looked him in the eyes. “I always want you to be here.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to sound like an asshole, and I hope I don’t, but we need to spend time together, Ryann. I can’t have a relationship with your voicemail. Sure, you have a sultry voice, and I love the way it goes up at the end of your message, but I prefer your actual voice.” He chuckled quietly, but it didn’t resonate in his gaze. “I mean, when was the last time we spent the night together? Again, not wanting to sound like a total ass, but I miss you. I really, really do. And, honestly, I feel like I’m losing you. This is how it starts, right? Cancelled dinner dates, forgetting lunch dates, going AWOL for days. I’m not blaming you, and if you’re just busy, that’s okay. But if you don’t want this anymore, you have to put me out of my misery.”