Kenny has been a very important person in my family for a long time. I shouldn’t have these feelings for her. Still. I’ve been with other women. In real relationships too. Thought I had found the one, until she found another one. While we were still together. Yup. And even in the back of my mind, it was always supposed to be McKenna. Why I keep feeling this, I don’t really know, and it scares me.
My song changes on my player, and it’s Hootie and the Blowfish, “Let Her Cry.” It’s sobering. I know I love the girl and have since we were young. I also know, if it weren’t for Andrew, it would have happened already. McKenna Taylor is it for me. My feelings are never going to change, as much as I will them to. This girl has gotten to me and I can only hope, I have gotten to her the same way. I need to talk to Andrew and see how angry he would be. This time away, I wasn’t supposed to get her off my mind or out of my heart, it was for me to realize she is it for me. I see her everywhere, I want her with me, by my side and cheering in my corner.
Now to make it happen.
As I round the corner to the road that the cottage is on, I see a familiar car pulling onto the road. I can’t believe my eyes. It can’t be Kenny. How did she find me? I didn’t reply to her messages. I didn’t tell anyone where I was or would be. I should have known they would think to look for me here though, it is my spot. But why is Kenny here, and is Andy with her? Is she alone?
Shaking off the feeling that Kenny is here, I head back to the cottage, a bit behind the car. Slowly it pulls in the driveway. The driver doesn’t get out. Maybe it is because she sees my truck, she won’t get out.
I run at top speed and get there and pull open her door. I might have sweat dripping all down my face, not from the run, but because I am nervous that she is here, but she will never know that. That’s something that I will keep to myself.
“Why are you here Kenny?” I ask a little more annoyed then I intended, but I want to keep her on her toes until I figure out what to do.
McKenna
He’s fucking here?! Why? I was coming here to clear my head and move on past him. Why is he here?
I think about turning around and leaving. He isn’t to my car yet. Is he sleeping? Is he fishing? Since he hasn’t come out, I can only hope he hasn’t heard my car pull in. I only know he’s here because I’m parked behind his truck. And when I make the decision to just leave, he grabs my door and opens it, asking why I am here.
“Better question, Christopher, is why are you here? You said you were leaving.” I anticipated he was going much farther than the cottage.
He smiles and says this is his cottage and his home away from home, so this is where he comes when he has to get away. But he still wants to know why I am here. Which he asks me again. Well, to get over you, asshole, but it’s not like I can tell him that.
“Andrew was supposed to come on a weekend trip with me, but because you left, he’s home, and he told me to come myself.” Not telling him that I was here to get him out of my head, or so that I could forget that mind-blowing kiss we had a couple nights ago. My heart flutters when I realize he’s getting closer to me. “Sorry Chris, I’ll turn around and leave right now. I know you left because I kissed you. Again.” I grab my door back and go to close it when his hand grabs it to stop it from shutting.
“You. Are. Not. Leaving,” he manages to mutter at me.
“Umm, yes I am. You said it yourself, big mistake and all. Bye Chris.”
I try to shut my car door one more time and again he grabs my door. “Why do you keep doing that, just let me leave, Christopher.” I might sound a little whiney, but I have to leave before I do something stupid like tell him I love him and that our kiss wasn’t a mistake.
“Our kiss wasn’t a mistake Kenny, and Ill be damned if I let you think for one minute you kissed me. I kissed you Kenny. Me! I kissed you and God help me, I think I’m about to do it again.”
Unsure how to process this, Chris reaches in my car, undoes my seatbelt and pulls me out of the car and into the cottage at a quick pace. Once we reach the door, he looks at me and says, “Tell me you don’t want this, Kenny. If you tell me that I’ll stop right now, and you can leave. But you have to tell me.”
Stunned, I do something I never thought I’d do again. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss Christopher. Like really kiss him. Having little experience, I’m not sure if I am doing it right but when I feel his tongue lick my lips and then enter my mouth, I am certain of one thing and one thing only: if he stops this now and says it’s a mistake, I’m going to combust and die.
Chris
When I asked her why she was here, I expected her to say I found the letter and we need to talk. I told her in the letter I was going to be here. As much as I hoped she had come on her own, not reading the letter, the answers were in it. She was technically the only person who knew. But when she said because her and Andrew were supposed to come, I know she’s lying. Andrew doesn’t come here often, only when Kenny wants to. No, she was coming here for the same reason I did, to clear her head. I saw her eyes; in no way did she think any differently than I do. And had she read my letter she would be here to tell me it would never happen. See in my letter, I told her straight up, if she wants to end this, to come to the cottage and we would agree to never act on impulse again, no more kisses, touches, everything. But the fact that her lips are on mine, and we are making our way, slowly into the cottage, I am suddenly aware, that she kissed me first. I slowly pull away, taking a moment to savor the look of her swollen lips and smile. She is mine, in every single way.
“Kenny, what are we doing?” I ask softly, letting her have a moment to think things over. Praying with everything in me, she gives me the answer I want.
“For the first time in a long time Chris, we’re both doing exactly what we’re meant to do.” We may have never talked about it, but after that, I know it’s what we’re meant to do. At least that’s what my heart is trying to tell me.
I don’t get a chance to reply before she has her arms around my neck again, and she is kissing me with everything she has. She is putting herself out there and dammit I’m going to be greedy. When it comes to Kenny, I will never get enough. And in return, I give her all of me, openly, wholeheartedly, she has me.
“God Kenny, I have fought this for so long, I can’t fight it anymore. Tell me you’re with me here, Barbie doll, because if you’re not, I’m going to have the worst case of blue balls in the Maritimes,” I say, leading her toward my bedroom.
She pulls me faster, letting me know she’s not stopping either. “Chris, I’m all in. Now kiss me like you mean it.”
That’s all I needed to hear. We make it to my room and I’m ripping her clothes off. We fall onto the bed, in a heap of laughs and kisses and suddenly all is right in my world.
McKenna
I have waited for this moment for the last 12 years. I have been so in love with this man in front of me for as long as I can remember. I have seen him without a shirt before but the fact that he is taking it off, for me, blows my mind.