Riley bit her lip, her brows lowering. “Are you…okay? I mean, you are happy, right? Happy that I’m here?”
My face grew hotter. I wasn’t great with words. This was the longest time I’d spent alone with a woman who wasn’t my mother. I didn’t know what I was doing. Was I happy she was here? Happy didn’t come close. But I was also out of my depth, aching for my sweet little wife and scared out of my mind that I’d mess everything up.
Talk, Cash.
“Yep.”
Idiot.
That wasn’t enough. But I didn’t know what to say. I shoved my door open and grabbed her bags down, then rounded the plane and opened her door for her. I reached up, and she gripped my shoulders instantly as I caught her around the waist and lifted her down. I had to bite back a groan as her soft, full breasts pressed against my chest, her hips brushing mine as she slid down the front of me.
I grunted from the contact, then I blushed hotter. There was no way she didn’t feel how stiff I was behind my zipper.
I winced and quickly put her on her feet, snatched up her bags again, and headed for the house. My nerves grew again as I led her up the front steps. I’d built this place just for me. My family home was on the other side of our property. I hadn’t wanted to live there after my parents died—too many memories. I’d scattered their ashes there right after I lost them, and now the old place had been pretty much taken over by nature.
The house had been built by my great-grandparents and hadn’t been in the best of shape when I was a kid. My dad and I had planned to build a new house together. We never got that chance.
The last time I saw it, a tree had taken out one wall and a family of raccoons had moved in.
My father would have liked that, giving that piece of our land back to nature.
This house was small: one bedroom, a living room, a kitchen, laundry, and bathroom. I was glad I had a working toilet now. At least there was that. But I wasn’t finished. I’d begun working on an extension, adding another couple of bedrooms and an office for Riley to write her books in.
I switched off the small electric fence charger, unhooked the bungee cords across the door, unlocked it and shoved it open. She followed me in.
“What was that?” she asked.
“Electric bungee. Stops the bears.”
She laughed nervously. “Bears. Right…of course. How could I forget?”
I strode through the living room and into the bedroom, putting her bags on the floor. My gaze moved to the bed, and my gut tightened, the ache increasing, becoming almost unbearable.
“This is so pretty,” she said behind me.
I had to stop myself from jumping out of my skin.
“Still building the extension,” I made myself say. I wanted her to know I was going to give her a good home, that I could provide for her. That I’d give her whatever she needed.
“So right now it’s just the one bedroom?” she asked and glanced around my room.
Her cheeks were pink, her eyes wide. I cleared my throat. “Yep.”
“Maybe you could…show me the rest of the house?”
Was being in the bedroom with me scaring her? The grip in my gut wasn’t the good kind anymore. What if she didn’t want me like that? What if she saw the size of me and was disgusted? Afraid?
My heart beat faster.
She married you.
I dragged in a breath, trying to calm myself. She had. She could have backed out, but she hadn’t.
I dipped my chin and led her back into the living room, then through to the kitchen. I motioned to the door off that. “Laundry and bathroom. Just put them in.”
She walked through, and I held my breath. Riley said she loved baths, so I put in a tub. It was the old, heavy, cast-iron, claw-foot kind. I’d taken it from my family home, the only thing I had here from my life before I lost my folks. It’d taken some getting it here because of its size and weight. I’d restored it for her, as a kind of wedding present.
She stood in the middle of the room and took it all in. It was a big bathroom. I’d built the cabinets and ordered the basin and toilet in special from the city. The washing machine was new, too.
“This is…wow, Cash, this is beautiful. If the extension you’re working on is half as nice, your house is going to be gorgeous.”
“Ours,” I said before I knew the word was coming out of my mouth.
“Pardon?” she said, turning to me, eyes wide.
“Our home,” I forced myself to repeat, even as my face heated again.
Her lips curled up at the edges. “Oh, yes. Ours.”
I wanted to kiss her then, badly.
Instead, I walked out before I embarrassed myself.
We’d finished eating a little while ago. I’d had some leftover venison stew I’d heated up. Riley was on the couch, her legs tucked up under her, eyes heavy. She was tired and trying to fight it.
It wasn’t overly cold, but I’d lit the fire. I didn’t want her cold. I wanted her to feel warm and happy here with me, safe. She needed to know how good I could take care of her.
It was getting late, but neither of us had made a move to the bedroom.
What was I supposed to do? Did she expect me to make the first move? How did I do that? Did she even want that? Did she want time to get to know me before we did…anything?
“I love the wedding ring you chose, and you know I adore my engagement ring,” Riley said, breaking the silence and beaming at me, then glancing down at her hand. “I know I already emailed you that I loved it, but it really is perfect. I couldn’t have chosen better myself.”
I flushed with pleasure. I’d been terrified of getting it wrong. “Good,” I choked out, my vocal cords feeling impossibly tight. I’d picked them out of a catalog Landon had ordered for me. The engagement ring had a diamond in it, was dainty and pretty like Riley, which is why I chose it.
I looked down at the one she’d slid on my finger earlier and swallowed, hard. I liked seeing it there. I liked the way it made me feel. Like I belonged to Riley. Like we belonged to each other. Insane, I know, since I could barely goddamn talk to her.
“I almost forgot. I have something for you,” she said, breaking through the silence and my racing thoughts. She left the room and was back a few minutes later with a book. As she handed it to me, her face lit up in a way that stole my breath and made me nervous at the same time. “You said you liked thrillers. I bought you the new Stephen King.”
How did she know I liked thrillers? Had I told her and forgotten? I didn’t think so. I took it from her and frowned down at it.
“Um…is it okay if I take a bath?” she asked.
“Don’t need to ask,” I said roughly as images of Riley naked in the tub filled my head. “Towels are in there.”
She started toward the kitchen.
“Thank you,” I blurted. “For the book.”
She smiled at me over her shoulder, then disappeared around the corner.
I wandered around the house, shaking out my hands, not sure what to do with myself. There was a restlessness inside me, something I’d never felt before. I gripped the back of my neck and dragged in a deep breath. It didn’t help, nothing helped. And every now and then I’d hear a splash in the bathroom as Riley moved in the water. My imagination ran rampant. I may not have ever been with a woman, but I wasn’t an idiot. I’d seen movies. I had a large DVD collection, and I obviously read books, lots of books.