“I thought this only happened in the movies.”
Several people are saying nice things about the sentiment, but I’m only interested in one person’s opinion.
She’s mortified and peeking around the curtains until I can see that she’s going to come out. It’s not my intention to embarrass her. This is the only way I can get her attention.
April opens the door and stands in the screened-in portion, looking at me with her arms crossed. She doesn’t look entirely pleased by my gesture. There’s no smile on her face, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t affected by how I’ve come all the way here.
“Do you want to tell me what this is about in three words or less?” she implores with a little boy holding onto her leg who has the same platinum blonde hair.
I lower the volume but stay on my knees, groveling for her acceptance of my apology.
“You gave me a lot to think about. I admit that I’d never wanted to have children. It’s no secret that my childhood wasn’t a bed of roses, but we all have crosses to bear. I can’t forgive myself for letting you go without expressing how I feel. You have to admit you did say a lot with those few words to stun me into silence,” I reply with a swallow of indecision, wondering if maybe I made a mistake by coming here.
“You can’t just show up like this and act like a complete idiot. You’re making a scene,” she says with her arms still crossed, looking at me with this steel gaze to freeze me in my tracks.
“I went to all of this effort to show you how much you mean to me. Do you know how hard it was to find a boom box? I thought about it very hard and had my friends around me to give me their wise counsel. They all had their own opinions, but I came to one irrefutable conclusion. I can’t live without you,’ I say with my heart on my sleeve.
“What do you want?”
“I want us to start over with no secrets. I know you have a child. We can take this slow and see where it goes. I make you my solemn promise to have an open mind. We can do the long-distance thing, but I did see a house a few blocks away for sale and my job doesn’t require me to be in any particular place.” I’m saying in a roundabout way that I’m willing to separate that expanse by building a solid foundation in the very same neighborhood.
“What are you trying to say? You made your feelings abundantly clear about having children. I understand, but maybe you need to think about your future instead of the past. I seriously doubt you will be the same kind of father that ran out on you and your mom. Set your own path,” she states, and I am compelled to take a few steps closer at the risk of being rejected.
I raise my hands. “This thing between us is something I wasn’t expecting. I don’t think either one of us was interested in finding a relationship, but here we are. There’s no denying my feelings for you. I want to make this work and I’m willing to do anything to prove it to you,” I plead with the crowd getting bigger, all drawn to the soap opera that is playing out in their neighborhood.
“I can’t stop you from buying that house; that’s your decision and has nothing to do with me. We can try this on a trial basis. You can call it probation. My child will always be number one. I don’t want to bring this drama into his life unless it’s for the right reasons. That’s the best that I can offer you. I will set up a play date for the three of us.” I hug her and we share a soft kiss in front of a chorus of applause.
It’s a start and I’m willing to build on that.
Epilogue – April
The last few months have been spent getting to know him. I thought we were deluding each other but something clicked between us. He gets along with my son and they have fun playing video games and doing things outside. Gage won him over.
Hiking has become important to us as an extended family. It’s the best way for us to get exercise together. I’m amazed there are so many hidden places just a few short minutes away from the house. I bought a book with hiking trails and waterfalls that we have been exploring. It’s nice to see these hidden gems being enjoyed through the eyes of a child.
He’s at a sleepover tonight, but it’s not for romantic reasons.
I bring in the coffee, still steaming, to our guests. Jake and Chloe have arrived for an extended visit without their baby. He’s spending a few nights with Shane and Amber. I’m betting it’s a trial run to see if they’re ready to have children.
They sit there on my black leather couch with Gage sitting in the matching leather chair. They’re talking about mundane things like sports and the weather.
I sit down across from them in a white summer dress with colorful flowers blooming across the fabric. The purple roses are my favorite.
They look tired, and I know from experience what a newborn baby can do to a relationship. Sleepless nights and no intimacy can lead to harsh feelings and words said in anger. There were some days that I didn’t even want to get out of bed.
Being a mom means never giving up, and it means showing my child how to rise above the noise. Strength comes from within. I have learned through my relationship with Gage that compromise is the key in any relationship.
“We don’t mind getting a hotel room. There’s no reason to go to this much trouble. We plan to stay for a few days to take in the sights. It’s nice of you both to be our tour guides. That brings me to the reason why we wanted to meet with you today.” Jake gently takes Chloe’s hand in his and they share a knowing glance with a deep breath.
I’m not sure why they called this meeting. I think it’s because they want to talk about my relationship with Gage. I’m not interested in any kind of intervention to make me see him differently. He has proven to be a good man with values I can be proud to pass on to my son. What better role model can there be than a hero willing to do what it takes to make the planet safer for all of us?
He’s not in the military, but he still goes to these places overseas. I worry about him when he’s not here, but I have been assured by his friends that they are looking out for him and vice versa.
Gage did buy that house a few blocks away and we have been talking about moving in together. Nothing concrete has happened, but at least the conversation is heading in that direction.
“We should probably tell you that we have been watching you both for the past couple of months. It’s become clear that you are good together. It’s been a debate, but we have come to a decision. We want you to be the godparents to our baby boy,” Chloe asks as she moves a little closer to the edge of the couch.
“I can’t speak for April, but I gratefully accept.” Gage makes his feelings clear and turns to me to see how I’m going to respond. “Before you answer them, I have a question of my own to ask you. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t want to live without you. Every day makes me realize how lucky I am to be a part of this instant family.” He produces a ring box and I become faint, but somehow remain focused when he opens it.
I look with great anticipation and inside is a...key.
It’s a plain-looking key with no distinguishable marks. It’s definitely not what I was expecting. Somewhat disappointed is a good way to describe what I’m feeling. I thought we were on the same page, but maybe he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m not sure what to say. I’m going to need some kind of clarification about what this means for the two of us.