Taking my turkey salad and fried pickles into the breakroom, I try to eat them, but I’m too upset. It doesn’t taste right and I don’t feel right.
Something is wrong.
He made such a big deal about meeting with me, claiming that he had so much to say to me and now he’s ditched me.
I doubt that he has anything to do today, especially since I remember him telling me once that he doesn’t do anything while he’s here. He doesn’t work, he spends time with his friends, but most of them are working day jobs, like me.
“You okay?” Mark asks as he sinks down in the chair across from me.
With a jump, I lift my gaze to his. He’s grinning at me and I have no clue what he finds funny, but I don’t ask either. I like him enough as a co-worker, but we’re not friends and I just get weird vibes from him all of the time.
“I’m good.” I nod.
He hums, his eyes roaming over my body before they lift to my face. “Yeah, you are. Hey, if you have tonight off, I’d love to take you out.”
“What?” I practically screech.
“Saw you last night. Liked what I saw. Thought since you’re still single that you’d like to go out.”
Gulping, my eyes widen as I realize what he’s saying to me. He saw me last night.
He. Saw. Me. Last. Night.
“Think about it.” He grins as he rises to his feet.
I don’t have to think about it. Mark is nice and everything, but he’s my boss and he’s a good fifteen years older than me. Plus, he still lives with his mother. Not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with that, but I’ve heard him talk and he’s mentioned rubbing her feet with lotion on more than one occasion, I get a very Norman Bates vibe from that situation.
The rest of the day, I keep my distance from Mark and practically sprint out of the store as soon as my shift is over. I halfway expect to see Louis standing next to my car like he was the day before, but I’m disappointed to find that there’s nobody waiting for me.
I spend the next couple of hours cleaning up around my apartment before showering and applying the heavy makeup that I’m required to wear for work. Shimmying my outfit on, I refuse to look in the mirror, like every night. I throw a heavy oversized thick hoodie on and hurry out of the door.
Once I arrive at the parking lot of my second job, I pull my car into its normal spot. Gripping the steering wheel, I let out a heavy sigh. It’s time. The moment that I dread six nights a week and have been dreading for the past five months.
I tell myself that it’s only temporary, but as each day passes and I return to work here, I know without a doubt that it’s becoming less and less temporary and more of a permanent part of my life.
Without this income, I won’t be able to save even a dime. I need a savings, because one day I want to do more with my life. I’m not sure what that more is going to be, but I want to be ready for it when I figure it out.
Turning the engine off, I open the door and slip from my car. Hurrying across the mixed dirt and gravel parking lot, I smile at the bouncer who is manning the only customer entrance. He doesn’t say anything, never does, he also isn’t much of a bouncer. He’s just kind of there, in case shit really goes down.
But I’ve been groped, pawed, and bruised by patrons, he hasn’t stepped in once. When I first started, Charlie told me that we have to watch out for one another in this place. The management and bouncer isn’t going to do shit, and she was right.
So, now it’s me and Charlie helping one another. I’m not much help, but I figure if things get too bad, my heels are just pointy and sharp enough that I could inflict enough damage to stun someone so that we could run away.
It’s a shitty plan, but it’s all we have.
“Hey girl,” Charlie calls as soon as I slip into the dressing room.
“Hey,” I call out distractedly. She doesn’t call me on it immediately, but I can feel her gaze on me. “Spill,” she says a few moments later.
I’m adjusting my sparkly bra when I turn my head to look over at her. “A guy I used to see is in town, he asked me to lunch today, then he stood me up,” I blurt.
Her eyes widen and she nods. “And it’s not Joey?”
She’s right to ask. As many times as I’ve gone back to him, I would ask me too. “It’s not Joey,” I confirm.
“He’s hot?”
“Really hot.”
“Don’t wait for him to make a move then. If you want him, be brave, girl. Go to his place and demand to know what the hell is up.”
“I’m not sure that would work,” I murmur.
She shakes her head, the red hair on her wig flying around her shoulders. I know it’s a wig, because I’ve seen her wear it only a few times, plus I know that she’s a natural brunette.
She says that she likes to keep everyone on their toes by wearing wigs, but I think it’s because she wants to keep her identity hidden a bit, I don’t blame her, I should have done the same thing.
“It will. Men love a woman who is assertive and confident.”
Without another word, I watch as she walks out of the room and her words ring in my ears. Men love women who are assertive and confident. I’m neither, never have been. I wonder if this is why I attracted Joey the loser and why Louis ditched me?
My eyes fill with tears and I blink them back, not wishing to ruin my heavy mascara and cheeks with black streaks.
Shit.
Maybe I’m the problem.
LOUIS
“What’s the real reason you wanted to come here?” Ford asks as he takes a pull from his beer.
Picking up my glass of water, I take a healthy gulp as my eyes scan the stage and the women working the room. I don’t see her anywhere, yet, but I know that she’ll be here. She made it very clear that she only gets one night off a week, and she’s already had that.
“Just wanted to come, fucking bored as shit at my house.” I shrug.
Ford snorts, obviously not believing a word I’ve said and I don’t blame him. I’m a shit liar, always have been. It’s why I usually don’t even attempt it. Plus, lying doesn’t fucking feel good on the soul.
“You know most of them will do whatever you want for a few extra bucks,” Ford announces. My head whips around, my eyes wide and anger fills my entire body from the inside out. “Who is she?” he demands.
“You fucking with me?” I growl.
He chuckles, shrugging a shoulder. “Fuck yeah I am, I needed a real reaction and I got it. Now, tell me why you dragged my ass down here. I don’t mind coming and watching a show, but there’s a reason you’re here and don’t try to deny it.”
Lifting my hand, I run my palm over my bald head. Inhaling, I close my eyes and know that he’s going to find out soon enough anyway, that is, if he doesn’t already know. Gallup is small and I doubt someone could hide a career as an exotic dancer for long.
“It’s Tulip,” I grind out.
There’s a moment of silence between us as the room darkens. Music begins, then the lights begin to brighten only on the stage. I’m not really paying attention, my focus on Ford when he coughs and jerks his chin forward, his eyes not leaving the stage.