Make love.
Fuck.
She’s made love to me. I, however, have spent my time getting lost inside of her body. Using her to pass the time until my big break, which is now.
I’m such an asshole. I’m not even sorry. Being with Hutton is refreshing after the nightmare that was Chelle, even if I never planned on us ever going beyond fucking.
“Leaving town tomorrow,” I state, my jaw clenching after saying the words.
Her lips wobble, they tremble as she looks up at me before she gives me a small smile. “When will you be back? Do you have a gig?” she asks, trying to get information out of me.
Shaking my head once, I dip my chin, looking into her eyes and fucking hating myself for what I’m about to say. I know I’m going to change her, break her heart and possibly fuck her up the way my mom and Chelle have fucked me up, but I can’t stop myself.
“Forever, darlin’. I got picked up by a label in California and I don’t plan on coming back.”
“What does that mean for us?” she asks.
Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair. I look down at my boots, wondering why she’s making this so damn hard. Raising my eyes, I catch her watery ones with my own. She isn’t asking because she doesn’t understand, she’s asking because she needs to hear it.
“It means we’re done.”
Hurt crosses her face almost immediately. “Beaumont?” she breathes.
“It was fun, but this is what I’ve been working for my whole life. I’m going to get out of this town and I ain’t lookin’ back. I can’t have some hometown girl holding onto my shirttails.”
She flinches as if I’ve slapped her. Direct hit. I’ve done what I’ve come here to do, no matter how shitty of a person that makes me. I take a step back, she doesn’t reach for me, I almost wish that she would.
“You took my virginity,” she hisses. “You took my virginity. We’ve been together for a year and all you can tell me is that, it’s been fun?”
Her face reddens with anger, I don’t blame her, not at all. I shrug as if it’s all meant nothing to me, when in reality she has meant more than she could possibly know. If I could love again, this is who I would choose. Hutton is sweet, soft, kind and so fucking beautiful that it makes my entire body ache.
“See you around,” I call out in true asshole fashion.
“Go fuck yourself, Beaumont Griffin,” she shouts, her lips trembling and the tears that have filled her pretty green eyes finally begin to fall.
Turning my back, unable to see the pain that is clearly etched across her face, I walk away from her.
No, I fucking run.
Just like my mother and Chelle both did to me.
How’s that for goddamn irony?
Chapter One
HUTTON
I blink at the television screen, watching as a picture of Beaumont Griffin appears. How has it been nine years since I’ve seen him? Why does just his picture alone bring back a flood of memories and feelings? As if he was dumping me in the middle of the town square just yesterday?
“Turn that shit off,” Laurie shouts.
My body jerks, I look over to my best friend, giving her a small smile of appreciation. She knows just how badly Beaumont broke my heart. Hell, she knows that I’m still not completely over him, I doubt that I ever will be.
It’s really hard to get over someone when they’re on the cover of magazines and tabloids, on television, and on the radio. When their picture or their voice shows up when you least expect it.
He’s everywhere.
“What are we doing today?” I ask the client in my chair.
Her gaze meets mine in the mirror and she tilts her head to the side, her eyes focusing on me in confusion.
“Do you not like Beaumont Griffin?” she asks.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I inhale a deep breath, then shake it off before opening my eyes and focusing my gaze on her reflection again.
Giving her my fakest smile, I decide to deflect the conversation. “I don’t really know him.”
It’s not a lie.
It’s what I always say, because it’s the truth. I never really knew him. A year together and I would have never imagined he’d leave me the way that he did. That he would just break up with me that way and walk away, never looking back, not even once. Never to darken my door again, never explaining himself.
“I mean, I thought I did once,” I admit.
She nods, and something flashes in her eyes, but I don’t question her. Instead, I change the subject back to focus on her hair.
“Are you looking for a drastic change? A cut, color? What do you want?” I ask.
This is what I love. Hair. I can control colors, cuts, styles and I can be creative all at the same time. This is my passion in life. Some may say it’s a stupid dream, being a hairdresser, but it’s always been mine, stupid or not.
When you grew up the way that I did, any kind of small dream seemed like climbing a mountain. I did that too. I climbed that sucker barefoot and gripping onto it with every ounce of strength that I ever possessed and now I own my own shop.
She presses her lips together, then nods once, as if agreeing to drop the Beaumont topic, thankfully.
“Just a trim, maybe some highlights?”
My lips twitch into a small smile. “Okay.”
Leaving her in the chair with a cape around her body, I walk into the back to mix my color. My client has beautiful honey blonde hair. I decide to mix a shade lighter and a shade darker than her natural color to interweave her lowlights and highlights. Doing this will make her skin glow and her hair look sun-kissed and gorgeous.
“You okay?” Laurie asks.
I drop my head, my fingers gripping the counter’s edge and I inhale a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m stupid is what I am. It’s been nine years, how can I not get over this?”
There’s a moment of silence, so I lift my head and open my eyes looking over to her, waiting for her to say something. She only shrugs a shoulder, sinking her teeth into the corner of her lip.
“I would tell you to just get under another man, but that hasn’t worked. Honestly, I think you need closure. But I don’t know that you’ll ever get it.”
“Probably not,” I sigh.
Turning back to my mixing bowls, I concentrate on making the lowlight and the highlight the right shades. Once I’m finished, I grab the handles of the bowls, one in each hand and turn to face Laurie. She’s still staring at me, waiting for me to break into a million pieces. If I didn’t nine years ago, I certainly won’t now.
“I’ll be fine. He’s just been on the news since he admitted himself into rehab and was recently released. Once all that dies down, I’ll be okay,” I lie.
Laurie snorts, knowing my words are the lie that they are.
“We’re going out soon.”
“I have to go to my PawPaw’s this weekend,” I remind her.
She winces, then nods. “I remember. You give him big hugs from me, okay?”
“He’d prefer kisses, the dirty old man.” I laugh as I push the door open with my ass.
Laurie throws her head back in laughter. “You’re right as rain on that,” she shouts.