“Have you ever thought and wondered that maybe the visit isn’t for you but for me? God, December. I’ve lost your mom and your sister. Lost them way too soon.”
The guilt raged inside, hammered within that I wasn’t the only one in this world grieving. I’d been so mad at both her and my dad I hadn’t thought to wonder about how she felt.
“I’m all alone out here, you know?” she continued. “I miss you and since I don’t have a lot of time with you before whatever you decide to do after graduation… yeah, I’m coming to see you.”
I figured she’d be all gung ho about wanting to start her life. That’s why she’d wanted to shove me off on my father. I heard them both talking about it the day of my sister’s funeral, both of them wanting to rid themselves of me. I shrugged. “I guess I thought you’d want the time on your own.”
Silence on the other end, and I heard her sigh.
“If I’m being honest, I can’t tell you what you heard that day,” she stated and sounded like she was moving around the house. “I can’t tell you what was said because I don’t remember. There were a lot of emotions that day, and I’m sure I said things that—”
“Well, I remember, Aunt C.” I shut my eyes, a whisper in my voice. I remembered what she said all too well. I remembered not being wanted and even more when I’d been forced to go out on my own. Another heavy breath. “I remember every word. That’s why I left.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry about that. I’m not perfect, December. I made a mistake, and I own up to that.”
“Is that the reason you’re coming over?” I asked, wiping a stupid tear. “Forgiveness?”
“Part of it, yeah. The other part is because I need you. You don’t have to forgive me now, but at least let me be a part of your life again.”
I supposed I could do that for her, telling her so, and I turned. Royal made eye contact with me again, and though I knew he wasn’t rushing me, he was sitting by himself. His attention redirected when the waitress filled his coffee.
“I gotta go, Aunt C.”
“Okay, but be careful. Your dad told my why you’re there, and I hope whatever it is you need from your visit you get.”
I hoped so too, starting to end the call before she spoke again.
“Oh, and I almost forgot,” she said. “A couple of people came by to see your sister not that long ago. One of them was a boy? A young man? I only mention him because your sister didn’t really have any friends here. Does he go to your school?”
“I don’t know. What did he look like?”
“Blond and excuse me when I say this because I’m well into my forties, but gorgeous as hell. He reminded me of the guys from the boy bands I used to have on my walls as a kid.”
Well, that sounded familiar. I panned again to find Royal. He was staring at me again, and after ending my call, I ventured over. He stood as I got there, his hand reaching for the back of my arm.
“Everything okay?” He moved hair out of my face, his fingers ghosting along my skin. I’d never get over how it felt to be touched my him. Never.
Nodding, I picked up my bag. “Aunt C. She was just checking in. She said someone came to see my sister in LA. A blond boy who looked like the boy band guys she used to have on her walls.”
Smiling a little, Royal threaded his fingers in mine, making sure to give the tip directly to the waitress on the way out. I didn’t see how much he gave her, but the wad of bills was easily bigger than my OJ, toast with peanut butter, and his coffee. He pushed the door open for me. “I’m flattered. Did you tell her it was me?”
“I told her I suspected a boy from school, yeah.” We stopped on the sidewalk, and he grabbed my other hand. I studied his face. “Why did you go out there? When even?”
“After the fight,” he sighed, then let go of my hand to scrub one through his perfect hair. It fell so hotly over his eyes I wanted to touch it and did. He smiled. “I just wanted to see her. Your sister has a way of opening my eyes to some things. Always.”
“Did she that day?” I asked, and his gaze left, fell across the street. A car started to come by, and Royal waved for us to pass.
“She did,” he stated once we crossed the street, and it took me a moment to realize where we were. Royal hadn’t said where we’d be going today, but when I noticed the name on the building, I let go of his hand.
I stepped back, way back, and shook my head. Why were we outside this building…
Why were we at the Corrington Meadows’s Coroner’s Office?
Four
December
“This is needed, December. I swear it is.”
But how? And how could he make me come here? My sister’s body had been in there… her dead body. I shook my head again. “What the fuck, Royal?”
He started to approach, but I lifted my hands. He frowned. “Em…”
“Don’t Em me.” This was too much, too everything, and what did being here have to do with the truth only he could give? Was he messing with me?
What the fuck?
I walked in the opposite direction, but Royal got to me before I even hit the street. He pulled me forward. “All the answers start here—”
“What answers?” I shook out of his grasp. “You’ve been a vault, and this is cruel.”
“It may be, but it’s necessary. What’s inside is necessary.” He sighed toward the heavens, shoving hands into his pockets. “You know what? You’re right. This is too much. It’s too much for you, and I never should have taken you here—”
“Don’t do that. Don’t act like I’m weak!”
“You’re not, but, December, this would be a lot for anyone. Coming here?” He threw a hand behind his neck. “It would be for anyone. It was for me.”
I blanched at the admittance, the fact he’d come here unknown to me.
Perhaps, he knew I had no idea, my surprise all over my face. Approaching, he pushed hands to the back of my arms, warming me through my coat. “I came here after you left for LA. That’s why I wasn’t at your sister’s ceremony.”
“Why would you come here instead of the service?”
A tongue dampened his full lips, and he reached up to brace my face. “Because I needed to know the truth about some stuff. A trail brought me here, and I followed. I fucking followed it and unleashed all kinds of fucking bullshit I never wanted you to be a part of.”
Tears, actual tears, fell and streamed thickly down my face. Royal wiped them away, his thumbs running through those hot trails. By my cheeks, he brought me forward and pulled me directly into his hard chest.
“Baby, I never wanted you to be a part of this.” So much emotion in his voice, the tone gravelly. Smoothing hands over my head, he kissed my hair in the cool breeze. “Just give me a reason. A reason to let you go and get you the fuck out of this place. It’s your call, Em, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. I’d give anything to protect you from what I know.”
I knew he would, and had in the past to the point of more cruelty. He’d rather hurt me to keep me away than tell me the truth, his MO.