Still, something didn’t feel right.
They still hadn’t spoken about the reason they broke up. It hung over them like a dangling dagger.
She cut him out of her life and swore their mutual friends to secrecy about her state of mind—he never knew if she was hurt by the breakup or didn’t care. There was no reaction, nothing, when he told her. She had said a few sentences and then a dial tone. Then, nothing for eleven years until he bought her iced coffee at the coffee shop. If he had known back then what he knew now, he would have never said what he said. They could’ve gone to school together, and he could’ve married her instead of Nikki and had the kids and the house and the dog they’d dreamed of and would’ve been happy.
Especially with all that happened, law school not working, the divorce, everything… his life could’ve been so different. If he hadn’t been dumb and let the best thing that ever happened to him go.
They needed to talk about what happened. He would need to apologize. A lot. Jonathan thought about bringing it up, shoving his hands in his pockets as they walked. She chatted about her work at Taylor’s yoga/spin studio and how much she loved the marketing and the designs she had done for them, how that had brought in a ton of business, and how close she and Taylor were now by virtue of working together. She briefly talked about ISLAY, a brand he had vaguely heard about from women who went to his gym. She hated working at Buonissimo Italiana back in high school, and it sounded like the sentiments hadn’t changed. As she talked, he opened his mouth to blurt out an apology, but the timing was not right.
Zoey shook him loose from his thoughts.
“What’s life like for you in Phoenix?” Zoey asked.
“It’s great. I have an apartment and my job and a handful of good friends. Most of them were from college or my gym. My gym community is amazing. I love to golf, and I get to do it year-round there.” Jonathan paused and then said, “I think you would like it down there.”
“Yeah?”
“I would love for you to visit me. Come with Caroline and Brady or something. Come when it’s not hot like it is right now, of course. Now that we’re friends.”
Zoey grimaced, but he thought he caught a slight grin. “How hot is it there? Like right now?”
Jonathan shrugged. “Maybe the one-hundred tens.”
“Fuck,” Zoey said. “That is hot.”
“You get used to it, though. Complaining helps make it tolerable.”
“It’s gorgeous here right now.” They had been walking toward the lake and finally had a good view, partially obstructed by rows and rows of parked cars and families standing on the beach. The light breeze caused ripples in the water, true blue with many vacationers enjoying the warm day and splashing in the frigid temperature of the water.
“I’m glad we did this,” Zoey said.
He smiled. “You’re not going to avoid me anymore?”
“No,” Zoey said. “You turned out alright, Jonathan Turner.”
“Likewise, Zoey Benton.”
He wrapped his arm around her.
Oh fuck.
Perspiration sprung up from his hairline. He didn’t ask her if it was okay. It just felt natural, and for a split second, he forgot where he was. What had happened.
He ripped his arm back before it could settle comfortably on her slim shoulders. She looked at him with a slightly parted mouth and then down at his arm.
She then lifted his arm and lowered it to her shoulders. Her arms immediately crossed in front of her.
Zoey was now under his arm. He let his fingertips skim the hair on her arm and felt bumps forming. He watched the wind dance with strands of her hair. Her green eyes looked up at him, and her lips formed a small smile.
When he kissed her in high school, his whole body responded, like he melted into her and his mind went clear. Now, he just wanted to know if it still would. He wanted to know if too much time had passed, and their moment was gone.
He leaned his head down next to hers, his cheek rested on the crown of her head. He planted a kiss on her hair, a small one he hoped she wouldn’t notice. She wrapped an arm around his waist, grasping his hipbone. He snuggled up to her, and she pulled closer. He didn’t know if it was the air or the lake or the sunshine, but he felt things again that he had only felt when he was with Zoey. She looked up, and he almost leaned in. Almost.
She held up her wrist to show him her watch. “Jonathan, we need to get going. It’s three, and we need to be at the rehearsal at five.”
“We have two hours,” Jonathan said. Zoey broke the embrace, and the magic was gone.
“I have to help Caroline get ready, and I look terrible. There’s no telling how far we are from the car.” Zoey tapped something into her phone and let out a grunt. “Ugh, why is there no service?”
Zoey took off in the direction they came from, walking at a serious mall-walker speed. Jonathan jogged to catch up to her as Zoey finally pulled up a map to see where the restaurant was in comparison to them. “It’s two miles away, Jonathan.”
They walked with purpose, and Jonathan broke a sweat as they walked faster than some people ran for exercise in his neighborhood. He kept looking to her. The way she’d abruptly stopped their closeness, the way she’d walked ahead of him. It felt like they were back at square one.
“Oh my God,” Zoey said. Jonathan caught up to her. She held one of her flip-flops in her hand, a bare foot hovering over the ground.
“Ruined another piece of clothing,” Zoey said with a manic laugh. He noticed the strap had separated from the sole of the flip flop.
“I guess I’ll have to carry you back,” Jonathan said. He crouched down in front of her. “Hop on.” He couldn’t see Zoey, but he could feel the hesitation hang in the air. Then, he felt her body slam into his back and her thin arms wrap around his neck. He stood up, and she felt light on his back as he hooked his arms under her knees.
“It’s been a while since I got a piggyback ride,” Zoey said. Her body pressed to his back sent all sorts of dirty thoughts through his mind.
“Happy to be of service,” Jonathan said. He felt the side of her face press to his upper back. He walked, adjusting her by hoisting her up.
“You’re sweating a little bit,” Zoey said.
“You’re not exactly light. Though you look very good, by the way.”
“I do?”
“Oh yeah,” Jonathan said.
“You don’t look bad yourself. I don’t know how you did it. You were so thin in high school.”
“Protein powder. Lots of cod. And weight lifting.”
“Keep doing what you’re doing. So you can carry me when I break my flip-flop. And carry drunk girls.”
“Almost a sure thing. You breaking things.”
“Hey,” she said. He felt a light slap on his chest.
“I had a great time today,” Jonathan said. Although it’s killing me to know what stopped that kiss. Oh, and we still need to talk.
“It has been a great day,” Zoey said. She leaned her chin down on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, Zoey,” Jonathan said as he continued down the road with Zoey on his back, her chin resting on his shoulder.