The boy is trying to stop her, his hands clenching around the edge of the canoe as he tries to flip it on his own, but she’s not listening.
Embarrassment is obvious in his eyes as together Shane and I slide the canoe across ours, emptying all the water before righting it.
Shane holds it steady as they climb in, almost tipping over again in their haste to get out of the chilly water. Once settled, the boy won’t meet anyone’s gaze as he uses his oar to push away from us. I suppose he wanted to come to her rescue, be some kind of hero, and Shane and I ruined that for him.
It’s kind of cute how much he cares.
“One down,” Shane mumbles as we catch up to the group, who despite being told to stick together, has decided not to wait around.
“This is going to be a long afternoon.” I take a moment to stretch out my muscles. They aren’t used to this kind of stress. It’s been at least five years since I’ve been out on the water. No doubt I’ll be needing some pain meds by the end of the night.
“So.” Shane clears his throat, the muscles in his back bunching as he rolls his shoulders. “How is your mom doing?”
I snort, which draws his gaze over his shoulder. “Oh, just her normal overbearing self. My mom has been breathing down my neck since sophomore year trying to force me into picking a college. I don’t know what I want to do with my life so how can I pick a college?” Wait. Where did that verbal diarrhea come from?
“Not much change?” he laughs, changing direction so we are on the outer edge of the group. “And how’s Jay?”
I pause, losing my grip on the paddle for a second, then scrambling to grab it before slipping into the water. This is the first time I’ve heard him ask about him since the falling-out. “You don’t have to do that.”
His back stiffens, and he stops paddling. “Do what?”
“Talk about Jay.”
“Does he ever ask about me?” His words are almost a whisper and even without seeing his face, I can feel the pain.
“Not since we all still went to high school together.”
“Oh.” He resumes paddling, digging the edge into the water with such ferocity I don’t have to do anything to help move us along.
“What happened between you and Jay—”
“Doesn’t matter now.”
“Clearly it does. Jeez. You guys are so much alike. You end a decade-long friendship and neither one of you want to talk.”
Shane cranes his neck so he can see me. “He never told you?”
“No. But it would have been nice if you didn’t drop me too. I don’t know if you remember, but you were my best friend too.”
Realization dawns on his face as he spins around to face me. “He really never told you?”
“No. Just said that I needed to drop it. He wouldn’t tell my mom either, and believe me, she tried to drag it out of him on more than one occasion. Even tried to bribe him with cream cheese brownies.”
Shane lets out a harsh breath and runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. “I never meant to… You got put in the middle and that wasn’t fair.”
My arms slow as I study his face. Pain twists his features and an overwhelming sensation to comfort him settles in the pit of my stomach and works its way outward until I drop the oar and scoot forward. Earlier irritation at him is forgotten and all I want to do is wipe that heartbreaking look from his face.
“My brother is an idiot most of the time.” His disbelieving expression forces more words from my mouth. “Seriously. Until he was eighteen, he didn’t think the North Pole was real.” This very true and sad comment gets a laugh out of Shane so I back off, scooting to my side of the boat.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I wish I was making it up. Admitting I share the same DNA pool is embarrassing most days.” I add a fake shudder for dramatic effect.
Truthfully, my brother and I are super close. I love to tease him because he makes it so easy, but I also just plain love him. I won the jackpot when it comes to siblings according to stories friends have told me.
Shane holds my gaze for a few seconds longer before turning his attention to the kids who have become more interested in splashing each other with water than in rowing.
“We should catch up.”
A light, relieved feeling fills the pit of my chest as we paddle the short distance to the now rowdy kids. Whatever weird thing going on between Shane and me seems to have lifted and now we can go back to being friends.
As the day wears on though, I can’t shake one thought. One terrible thought that will ruin any chance of us getting back to normal.
I’m not sure I want to only be friends with him.
Lyla sits across on the other side of the fire, the orange flicker lighting up her face as she laughs at something Scarlett says. As stalkerish as it sounds, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off her since she sat down. Even after changing into a pair of jeans and a baggy hoodie that must have belonged to Jay judging from the high school wrestling logo, she’s still the most gorgeous woman around. Hell, even if she was wearing a garbage bag, she’d still outshine everyone else—a fact that became clear the moment she stepped foot in our high school.
This afternoon has done nothing helpful when it comes to keeping my very dangerous emotions in check. I thought I could ignore her or push her away. That didn’t work out. I thought I could remain hands-off. Failed big-time. I thought I could force us into the friend box we’d lived in for years. That ain’t working out either.
So, now I’m making sure a blazing fire is between us to keep me from doing anything stupid. A big something stupid like kissing her here and now for all to see—well, mostly for all the guys to see—consequences be damned.
I scrub a hand over my clenched jaw. Why did I volunteer to watch over her again? If she was sent packing, this summer would be a cakewalk. Every day wouldn’t be a tightrope between sanity and insanity. Because that’s what she does to me—makes me feel insane for every thought I have about her.
But I’m an idiot for her. I was an idiot in high school when I scared away any guy who even considered asking her out. I was an idiot when I made every excuse possible to spend time at her house when she was home. And I was a major idiot when I told my best friend I fell in love with his little sister.
I’m still not sure why I tricked myself into thinking the conversation would have gone any better than it had. Jay telling me to stay the hell away from her or else was the least he could have done. I’m surprised my body didn’t end up in a ditch somewhere. After all, I was there junior year when Jay tracked down Jimmy Felts and told him he would break his pitching hand if he asked Lyla to junior prom.
Jimmy asked Kiana Brown.
Since I know all of this, I should keep my eyes and my thoughts to myself. Yet, here I am, smiling like a goon as Lyla tilts her head and lets out the most infectious laugh. She always fit in just about anywhere. Sitting here as she throws her arms out wide, talking animatedly as everyone falls under her trance, makes me wish I was sitting next to her making her laugh like I used to.
“How’s your mother doing?” Mr. River asks, sitting in the empty seat beside me.
With a rough squeeze of my nape, I snap out of my daze. “Better. The doctors think they found the right combination of medications. Hasn’t had a seizure in a few days.”