“But I do.”
Slouching in my chair a little, I gave in.
“The fey are insistent that Thallirin and I are going to get married and have babies and live happily ever after. They're not getting it through their thick heads that I have no interest in him.”
“I don't understand what that has to do with you being late. Did he force you to stay with him?”
“No, Mom. Nothing like that. All the other fey refused to carry me, trying to play matchmaker and forcing me to deal with Thallirin. I chose my own two feet instead of his loving arms.”
Her expression shifted ever so slightly. Our family didn’t do pity. At least, it was our rule not to. But I could see it in Mom’s eyes. She wanted to pity me for whatever happened in the bunker. I never really talked about it, and it was the one subject she hadn’t forced. She probably hadn’t needed to. Zach had been there, too.
“I understand you need to take a stance,” she said, “but don't do it at the expense of your safety.”
“I didn’t. There hasn't been anything moving outside the wall in days. And we would have known if there had been any hounds nearby.”
“Okay. I've said my piece. You know my feelings on the subject. If Thallirin does anything you don’t want him to do—”
“I know. You and Zach both have my back.”
She nodded.
“Now, did you stop at Cassie’s?”
“Yeah, she says there's been a mad rush on birth control since the news. She doesn’t have any. Supposedly the fey are out looking for more, but with their baby obsession, I wouldn’t count on it. But, there’s a supply run tomorrow that I’m willing to join.”
“I’ll go, too,” Zach said. “Just don’t look me in the eye when I hand you your birth control.”
He started to get up, but Mom grabbed his arm and drummed the fingers of her other hand on the table as she gave Zach “the look.” Zach made a pained face in return and sat again. She released him.
“As much as I want to run away from whatever conversation is about to go down, I'm staying,” he said sullenly.
“I like Uan,” she said. “And he seems to like me just fine in return.”
“We couldn’t tell,” Zach said dryly.
“When I tell him I’m ready, he’s going to want to live here with us.”
Despite her stern tone, there was doubt and worry in her eyes. Not about her decision but about us. I reached out and took her hand.
“We’re okay with that, Mom. We’re old enough to understand what’s happening. We know you’re not replacing Dad. And it’s okay if you have feelings for Uan. It won’t ever change how much we love you.”
She closed her eyes for a moment and squeezed my hand in return.
“I have the best kids in the world,” she said softly.
“Given the current population, that’s probably true,” Zach said.
Mom laughed and smacked his arm.
Zach and I walked toward the wall. Just like the day before, a group of fey waited along with a small group of humans. Ryan waved when he saw us.
“Wasn't sure you'd be back after yesterday,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Zach asked.
Ryan's gaze shifted to my right, and I followed it to where he was looking. Thallirin watched us from his solitary position near the wall.
“There's a lot in life that will try to stand in my way and stop me from accomplishing what I want,” I said. “That doesn’t mean I should just give up before I even try.”
Ryan smiled slightly. I noticed how cute he was, and it sent a jolt of panic through me.
Before a tell-tale flush could give me away, I glanced at the fey gathered.
“Am I going to have to take the slow way again today?” I asked.
“I will carry you,” a fey said, stepping forward, “but not because I am interested in you.”
“Thanks for clarifying,” I said dryly.
With little drama, we made it to Tenacity before the sun was fully up. Like the day before, Matt waited in the street along with a large crowd. Everyone looked a lot less happy than the day before.
“I’m sorry you came all the way out here,” he said. “There are only a handful of people interested in going to Harrisonville, which means I have more help on the wall than I need.”
“It's okay. I actually want to go on the supply run,” I said.
“Are you sure they're going to let you?” Matt asked with a glance at the fey behind us.
“I'm sure they're unprepared for the fallout from a temper tantrum thrown by someone my age,” I said, embracing the stubborn child role in which Thallirin had cast me.
“Give ‘em hell and keep ‘em in line,” Matt said softly.
“All right,” Ryan said. “I guess we’ll be going. Thirty percent to use your trucks seem fair to you?”
“More than fair.”
“We’ll fill the tanks up while we’re out there, too.”
When we went to the ladders, Thallirin was there, his arms crossed.
“You know it’s not safe,” he said in his typical low, stoic voice.
“Yep, and you already know I’m going to go anyway because nothing is safe about this world. Besides, I’m tired of eating dog food.”
“Tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.”
“No. I’ll get it myself because I’m strong, smart, and just as able to gather supplies as Ryan or Zach. My vagina isn’t a disability. It’s a body part.”
His face darkened.
“What? That word bothers you?”
“Children shouldn’t—”
“Just stop already. I’ll be eighteen in a few weeks, if that. What excuse are you going to use to keep me a prisoner then?”
“Your safety isn’t an excuse.”
“It is. Infected got inside the wall. I could have been dead just as easily inside Tolerance as I could outside of its wall. You let nothing near me before. Why doubt your abilities now?”
I knew I had him, and by the way he blinked at me, he knew it, too.
“You will stay where I can see you.”
“Since you stalk me everywhere I go, even to the bathroom, I doubt there’s anywhere you wouldn’t see me.”
He grunted and motioned to the ladder.
Triumphant, I grinned at him and grasped the first rung toward freedom and understanding. His hands closed over the rungs above mine, and he leaned in close.
“This is not a victory.”
Chapter Five
Safely tucked into a truck with Garrett at the wheel, I watched the road ahead as we approached Harrisonville’s city limits. The drive had taken well over an hour. The first half had gone smoothly enough because the fey had cleared that part of the road the day before. The second half had slowed us down a bit while they removed a few cars here and there. The number of abandoned vehicles that clogged the way had increased the closer we drew to the city. All of what they’d cleared was nothing compared to the concentration of vehicles ahead, though.
Garrett pulled the truck to the side of the road and cut the engine.