Instead of going straight home, I remembered Mom’s request and veered off toward Cassie's house. When I glanced over my shoulder, wondering if Thallirin was going to try to follow me, I saw I was alone. I hoped that meant I’d finally gotten through to him just as much as I hoped he’d recover from the letdown and find another girl to safety-stalk.
I knocked on Cassie's door and only waited a moment before her partner, Kerr, opened it.
“Hi, Kerr. Could I speak to Cassie, please?”
He stepped aside and motioned me in. The scent of roast made my mouth water. I wished we had real meat to eat, but I knew the cost of eating well. I glanced at Kerr, wondering if Cassie regretted her choice. Probably not. A lot of the women with fey seemed pretty happy.
Kerr led me to the kitchen where Cassie and her children were already eating.
“I'm sorry to interrupt dinner, but my mom wanted me to stop by. She was wondering if you had any birth control.”
Cassie swallowed her mouthful of food and stood up, leading me away from the kids and back to the front door. Kerr followed us, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen so he could watch the children and us.
“I'm so sorry,” she said quietly. “You’re not the first one to come looking for birth control since the news. Let your mom know that the fey are looking for it when they go out for supplies. Nothing came back today, though.”
Kerr shifted his weight ever so slightly when she said that. I glanced at him, his unwavering gaze holding mine. Given their love of children and desire for families, I doubted any birth control would ever come back with the fey.
“That's okay,” I said, looking at Cassie. “I'll let my mom know.”
I let myself out and hurried home. Warm air enveloped me as soon as I stepped inside. Instead of the welcoming scent of roast, I smelled soup and dog food again. I tried not to let it bother me.
“Come in here,” Mom called from the kitchen. “There's hot food waiting for you and a mom who's ready for conversation.”
“It's a good thing I'm hungry and ready to talk,” I called back, removing my layers.
When I walked into the kitchen, I saw Uan sitting at the table with Mom and Zach. Mom was smiling, but I could see the worry in her eyes.
“Everything went really well today,” I said, taking my seat. “I never thought I would see another place like this, but Tenacity is almost a replica. A little bit bigger. And if I'm not mistaken, I saw a school.”
“I heard they took over Leeton,” Mom said. “That’s a long way from here.”
She meant it was a long way for me to hoof on my own, and she was right.
“I’m pretty sure that’s strategic. Human foot traffic is discouraged, which means less risk of attracting unwanted attention for places that should be safe.”
She gave me a long look, reading into what I was saying.
“The place might look like this,” Zach said, “but the people are nowhere near as friendly.”
“So, no different than what they were when they were here,” Mom said.
“Not really,” I agreed before helping myself to my first spoonful of dog food soup.
I'd barely eaten half a bowl, joining in on the easy table banter, when someone knocked on the door.
“Let me get it,” I said, already rising.
Zach looked at me.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
If Uan caught on to the undercurrent of our conversation, he gave no indication. I left the table and returned Eden’s sheepish smile when I answered the door.
“Am I interrupting dinner?” she asked.
“Yeah. It's not a big deal, though. What's up?”
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.”
The way she stayed outside, even though I had the door open, let me know she wanted a private conversation. So, I grabbed my jacket and stepped outside with her.
“Thallirin came over,” she said without preamble. “He wanted to talk to Ghua about how to deal with a stubborn child.”
I groaned. I’d been so sure I’d gotten through to him.
“He thinks I’m just being stubborn?”
“What's funnier is that Thallirin thinks that Ghua is an expert on you.” We walked around the house to the backyard. “I know it's none of my business, but I really want to help you. I know what you've been through. I also know that, although the fey are basically harmless, they’re also very persistent. The combination can be extremely frustrating.”
“You've got that right.”
“Thallirin said you called him a pedophile. He's freaking out, thinking there's something wrong with him. I'm not saying that so you feel bad. I'm just letting you know so that you understand where he's coming from. Maybe it will help get through to him.” She shrugged slightly and sighed. “I think you’re going to need to be upfront with him about what happened at the bunker.”
My chest tightened by slow degrees.
“What happened there has nothing to do with my refusal.”
“It did for me,” she said. “I left that place, swearing I wanted to spend the rest of my life by myself. That I didn't need anyone. When Ghua showed up, I was terrified. Not just because he was freakishly different or because he was ripping heads off of infected, but because he was extremely interested in me. And he made that interest very clear. You should have seen his face when I lied and said I was twelve. Complete devastation. They respect the no females under eighteen rule. Thallirin will leave you alone because of that. But, it won’t stop him from caring about you or wanting you. You need to help him understand why you will never want him in return.”
I looked up at the stars.
“What happened is in the past. I’m over it. And it has nothing to do with what’s happening now.”
“Sugar, that’s not something you just get over.”
“In this world, you do. There’s no time for self-pity or doubt. That’s the quickest way to die, and I’m not done living yet.”
Eden remained quiet next to me for several long moments.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner.”
I turned to look at her.
“Don’t carry the guilt for someone else’s actions. Any decision that was made that might have delayed your arrival doesn’t change who’s responsible for what happened to me. It was the people at the bunker. It was Van.”
I hated that I’d said his name. He didn’t deserve any acknowledgment from me. Yet, I refused to let Eden carry the burden for what happened.
“And don’t worry about Thallirin’s fascination with me. Like you said, the fey are basically harmless to us. Just annoying. I’ll manage.”
She nodded and left.
When I went back to the house, I found Uan saying his goodbyes.
“I must guard the wall tonight. I will return in the morning, though.”
He bent down and kissed Mom thoroughly before leaving. She stared after him, her eyes glazed, as I took my seat. Zach grinned as he watched her. It didn’t take her too long to snap out of it.
“Spill it,” she said, no-nonsense Mom taking over. “What really happened today?”
“I don't want to talk about it,” I said.