I sit down instead and refresh my email while the group chain fires away in the background. Still nothing.
Well, if I’m not leaving, maybe I can at least be somewhat productive, with the promise of two new books to read as a reward. I minimize the group chat and reopen the article for Teen Vogue. It’s not due until next week, but I’m hoping to get a draft prepared before school starts. It’s a feature on Jewish YA—listing all my favorite books with Jewish protagonists, written by Jewish authors.
Ariel Goldberg is of course at the top of the list. Her twisty psychological thrillers star Jewish teens and her debut was the first time I felt seen in genre fiction. I want this article to help others feel that way too.
I put on headphones, play my #amwriting playlist on Spotify—a perfect combination of soft rock and acoustic covers—and find my rhythm in blurbing each book I’ve selected for the listicle.
“Hey. Mind if I sit here?” I barely notice the voice, but I do register the tall shadow standing above me.
“Go for it,” I say, not breaking eye contact with my screen. I can’t lose my flow now.
It’s my first Teen Vogue piece, but I’m planning to pitch a monthly column to an editor I’m a Twitter mutual with. All posts would include a link to One True Pastry, which would be huge. I’m currently being hyped as their teen contributor, so I feel like there’s a decent shot. I’m aware that my teen factor has an expiration date, but for now? I totally embrace it. Let me be a teen voice on any and all major media platforms! I’ll never say no. I built One True Pastry on being for teens, by a teen.
Because engaging with adults who think YA is for them? It’s exhausting.
Twenty minutes later, I click “save draft.” It’s not exactly what I needed to do today, but after twelve hours in the car and narrowly avoiding a panic attack, it’s something.
My laptop dings with a new email notification—and my chest tightens for the millionth time today.
I glance at the clock.
It’s four thirty-two. Almost the end of the workday. Unlikely.
But possible.
I exhale and click the “Inbox (1)” tab.
Subject: READ BETWEEN THE LIES Cover Reveal
Oh God.
It’s a rejection.
I feel it in my bones.
My cursor hovers over the email. It might seem small, waiting for a cover reveal, but it’s everything. Ariel Goldberg hasn’t released a new book in three years. In publishing, where so many popular authors are on a book-a-year schedule, this feels like a lifetime. Hosting a highly anticipated cover reveal like this one? One that should probably go to a major media outlet? It’s exactly what One True Pastry needs to keep the momentum, to rise above the everyone-has-one kind of blogs out there, to be noticed by industry professionals and impress NYU admissions.
Now that the email is here in front of me though, and I have the power to click … I almost don’t want to know. I thought no email was worse than a rejection. I take it back. Why did I ever think I wanted something in writing telling me I’m not good enough?
I wait a full minute, then click on the email before I change my mind.
Hi Kels!
I’m Alyssa Peterson, Ariel Goldberg’s publicist. I’m so excited to confirm that Ariel would LOVE for One True Pastry to host the exclusive cover reveal for Read Between the Lies.
I reread confirm and love twelve times before I am convinced that’s really what it says.
I got the Ariel Goldberg cover reveal. Me, Kels from One True Pastry.
Oh my God.
I slam my computer shut.
The sound reverberates through the silence.
Sorry, I mouth to the person sharing my table, trying to contain the stupid smile that must be spreading across my face. I make eye contact with him and for the second time in literally thirty seconds, I don’t believe what I’m seeing. I blink once.
I’m hallucinating. It’s the only logical explanation.
“Good news?” he asks—but really, he’s trying not to laugh.
“You could say that,” I say.
How am I speaking? How am I breathing?
He isn’t a hallucination.
I know him.
Well, I, Halle, don’t know him.
Kels knows him.
In fact, he’s kind of Kels’s best friend.
July, the summer before Middleton
BookCon @thebookcon 1hr
Calling all bloggers! Do you want to be a voice at one of publishing’s biggest events? For the first time, we’re opening applications for a blogger-only panel, aptly called Bloggers IRL! Applications are due September 1.
Apply here: https://bit.ly/2IX3iAs
|
Nash Stevens @Nash_Stevens27 1hr
@thebookcon @OneTruePastry
Direct messages
Nash Stevens
Heeeeey! Did you see that BookCon is having a blogger panel at next year’s conference?
2:27 PM
Dumb question. I tagged you. You saw it.
2:27 PM
So. Proposal. I think we should apply for it.
2:28 PM
hahaha okay sure
2:29 PM
Kels. I’m serious.
2:30 PM
you are? come on. CALLING ALL BLOGGERS is code for famous, influential bloggers. the people who write think pieces for national publications, but actually know nothing about YA or the blogging community.
2:32 PM
Wow. Harsh.
2:32 PM
You need to give yourself more credit sometimes, you know? Don’t you have like … 100K Instagram followers?
2:33 PM
110.2K
2:34 PM
SEE. I think you’re probably exactly what BookCon is looking for.
2:35 PM
only my cupcakes are viral. my actual blog stats are still pretty mid-level. i don’t know.
2:37 PM
Well, I think we should give it a shot. What do we have to lose?
3:00 PM
our dignity when the BookCon
committee laughs at us
3:01 PM
… You are so dramatic.
3:02 PM
okay. i thought about it. let’s give it a shot, why not. on the miniscule chance this works, we’re definitely getting into NYU with this on our application.
4:34 PM
That’s a valid point.
4:35 PM
We’d also meet. Like. In person.
4:35 PM
really? that thought did not cross my mind,
not once
4:36 PM
Ha?
4:37 PM
don’t you ever worry it’ll be weird? meeting?
4:37 PM
Sometimes I guess, but I think we should let the BookCon gods decide. Because like … if we both manage to somehow get onto this thing?
4:38 PM
I’m pretty sure that means we’re supposed to meet.
4:39 PM
THREE
If words weren’t the absolute worst, I’d say, Nash, It’s me.
I don’t know how to explain it so it makes sense. Nash. It’s me, Kels. We were just talking about how I’ve never seen Lord of the Rings and oh, by the way, I got the cover reveal! I’m Kels—except I’m not Kels, I’m Halle. But … you can call me Kels. Though everyone else will probably call me Halle, so that could get weird. But yeah! Wow! Hi!
It would be a catastrophe. I would be a catastrophe.