Chapter One
JOSEPHINE
I stare up at the cabin ceiling, wishing I could evaporate. Through the floorboards, I can hear the telltale rhythm of Archer and Sienna screwing — those periodic moans, the tap-tap-tap of the headboard, the creaky springs in the mattress.
What a weird term for it. Screwing. Like their bodies are instruments plucked from some libidinous toolbox, jammed together out of necessity rather than affection. Makes the whole process sound mechanical. A chore. Like fixing an IKEA cabinet, not making love.
Making love.
Yuck. That’s somehow even worse than screwing, in my humble opinion. Not that my humble opinion counts for all that much when it comes to sex, seeing as I’m a virgin with a capital V.
I’m also “Valentine” with a capital V. (That’s my last name, not some fervid declaration of my favorite Hallmark holiday.) As nicknames go, it’s not terrible — albeit not necessarily one I would’ve chosen for myself. But at a house party six months ago, one of the baseball jocks said, “Yo, Valentine! Pass me that beer, will you?” and I guess it stuck, seeing as it’s all anyone at school calls me these days. Quite possibly because they couldn’t be bothered to learn my actual name after six years of classes together.
Well… everyone except Archer. But that’s only because we’ve been best friends since we were old enough to call each other anything requiring more than those goo-goo-ga-ga syllables babies mouth at each other in daycare through drooling, toothless smiles. He calls me Josephine — a.k.a. Jo, a.k.a. JoJo, a.k.a Joe Shmoe — which is what my mother scrawled on my birth certificate after popping me out the same summer The Wallflowers released my namesake track, halfway through a mid-nineties heatwave. (My father initially wanted to name me Maude, after his dearly departed great-aunt. I send my deepest regards to gods of angsty alternative-rock for persuading him otherwise.)
So, that’s me. Josephine Valentine. A girl named for a song no one my age has ever even heard. Which, honestly, is a pretty fitting interpretation of my entire high school experience thus far.
Since I was old enough to notice such things, I’ve always found myself on the fringes. Too artsy to blend naturally with the in-crowd, too obstinate to whittle myself into something they’d find more palatable at their cliquey lunch tables. Like a cheerleader. Or the student council president. Or a cokehead.
Anything, really, besides what I am — a deeply-unapologetic introvert, who’d rather spend her day out sailing or squirreled away with a good fantasy novel than on display at Singing Beach, gossiping with girls who, it must be said, are more than a little intimidating. Only partly because of the way they fill out their bikini tops, while my own frame is flatter than a freaking hardcover. (I think the phrase “late bloomer” is embedded somewhere in my DNA.)
Much like the seagulls who roam boldly between sandy towels on the hunt for unattended snacks, the popular girls seem to travel in packs and strike the moment your back is turned. Predators with preening feathers, they smile prettily as they plot your demise.
Count me out.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even be here at this stupid party if not for Archer. He dragged me along, insisting it would be more fun than sitting at home all alone on the final night of spring break, binge-watching yet another season of The Great British Bake Off, eating my body weight in mass-produced (likely carcinogenic) sour gummy worms while critiquing the contestants’ shoddy use of fondant.
“It’s senior year, Jo,” he’d reminded me, grinning in that way that makes my knees go softer than buttercream frosting. “Last chance to tear it up before graduation.”
“Pass.”
“Come on! Don’t make me face the zombie hoard alone.” He’d tugged a lock of my hair, then wrapped it absently around one finger, his eyes fixated on the strands as they caught the fading afternoon light. We were sitting in our spot, up in the rafters of the boathouse — our favorite hideout from the rest of the world — staring out at the ocean, our legs dangling in the wind. Below, waves gently lapped at the sides of the navy blue Hinckley picnic boat my father spent a fortune on (but is never around to use) and, beyond, the sun made its slow descent toward the horizon.
We’ve spent a million such nights up there — shoulders pressed together, sharing secrets in the dark. But this time, something felt different. Archer cleared his throat, uncharacteristically nervous.
“If you don’t come to this party, who else will silently mock the masses with me? I need you, Jo. I’m not above begging…”
I folded faster than a freaking lawn chair.
What can I say? I’m powerless in the face of that persuasive smile. And that soft hair tug. And those bright, burnt-caramel eyes, fixed on mine with such playfulness in their depths.
Plus, I have to admit, Archer is probably right. This really is my last chance to quote-unquote ‘tear it up’ before graduation. Between the upcoming senior prom and commencement ceremony, things are winding down in a very real way. The film is turning it’s final reel. The curtains are about to close.
Fin.
The end.
Hasta la vista, baby.
It’s almost tangible. Visceral. There’s something in the air. Sure, it could just be the marijuana haze or the smoke from the fire pit drifting through the open windows… but I think it’s more than that. We can all feel it. That bases-loaded, two-strikes, last inning sort of feeling has started to creep in. Responsibilities and college orientations and full-time jobs are hurling at us full force. In a few weeks, we’ll be walking across a stage, shaking hands with Headmaster Lawrence, collecting our diplomas, and bidding high school goodbye.
Bidding childhood goodbye.
But for tonight… we are still seventeen, carefree and crazy, drinking cheap beer from tapped kegs, dancing in the moonlight, skinny dipping in the sea, wishing for a summer that will stretch on forever. (Or… if you’re me… hiding out in a spare bedroom, listening to your best friend lose his virginity through the floorboards like the worst kind of voyeur.)
God, Jo.
You are seriously twisted.
Upstairs, Sienna lets out a moan loud enough to make a porn-star roll her eyes. I guess Archer is really living up to her expectations — and vice versa, since the mattress squeaks start coming faster and faster, a shrieking harmony to the pounding bass of my own frantic pulse.
Just finish, already, I want to scream at my best friend, feeling my heart contract in a surprising amount of pain. Aren’t virgins supposed to last, like, thirty seconds? Are you trying to set some sort of record up there?
I pull a pillow over my head to muffle the sounds of them together, wishing for the hundredth time that I had some way out of this hellish scenario. If I’d known this was how my night would play out, I’d never have agreed to come. I certainly never would’ve allowed Archer to drive us, leaving me without a viable mode of escape.
“Oh, Archer!” Sienna screams, her voice breathy with desire. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
I tell myself to get up. To walk out of this room, back to the party, where the crappy pop music they’re blasting would overpower even Sienna’s most bombastic fake moan. But I’m paralyzed. Stunned immobile as a statue. Even more horrifically… there’s an unexpected, unwelcome pressure gathering behind my eyes.