"Well, in that case, onward," Lilly commanded lightly. She watched with amusement as Mitch switched a CD out of her stereo with another one.
"You still use the CD player?" she asked.
"Yep," Mitch answered as the first notes of a Tom Waits song began playing. Lilly caught the handwritten label on the disc that was just in the player as Mitch quickly stuck it into a CD folder in the center console.
She recognized it as one of the mixes she'd burned for Mitch when they were together. It had to be over thirteen years old. She still listens to them. It genuinely surprised her, and she couldn’t help but feel a small flutter in her stomach. I wonder if listening to it makes her think of us? Or maybe she just really liked the songs I put on it.
The rest of the short drive was quiet but not uncomfortably so. Both women were getting used to being in each other's presence again after so many years and Lilly appreciated the ease in which they began to interact. It surprised her actually. Mitch was Mitch but then she wasn’t the Mitch she’d known ten years ago. She felt like a virtual stranger in one moment and as familiar as her own reflection the next.
Lilly turned to Mitch, about to ask her a question when her phone rang. She frowned and pulled it out of her bag and saw that it was Jaycee calling. She gave Mitch an apologetic look that said I should answer it. Mitch nodded at her, wordlessly acquiescing to the interruption.
"Sorry." She mouthed as she hit the green 'Accept' button and turned away best she could from Mitch.
"Hey," Lilly said, ready for Jaycee to be upset with her for failing to call her when she'd gotten into town yesterday afternoon. She'd hit the ground running and between talking with May's doctor and cleaning her house she'd obviously not been able to do for some time, she'd totally forgotten.
"Hey, I was getting worried about you. You okay? How's your aunt?" she asked in quick succession.
"I'm doing okay. Aunt May is Aunt May," Lilly said with a sigh.
"You sound exhausted, baby," Jaycee said and Lilly looked over toward Mitch to see if she'd overheard the endearment. It would be near impossible with the music playing quietly in the cab and the phone pressed to her ear, though. She wondered briefly why it would matter and left the thought there, not willing to dig deeper at the moment.
"I'm hanging in there. I think I'll be here another few days, but I'll call you with an update tomorrow if that's okay?" she asked, hoping to keep the phone call short for the sake of politeness.
"Yes, of course. Get some sleep. All is good here, so don't worry about anything, just you and your aunt."
"Thanks, Jay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow," Lilly said.
"Sounds good. Love you," Jaycee said and Lilly found herself saying it back in a barely audible whisper. When she hit 'End', she looked over at Mitch. Her back was stiff and her jaw was tight. She decided to wait to ask her question later.
"Table for two, please," Mitch asked with a warm smile as they reached the host desk at the Thai restaurant.
"Right this way, Mitch," the small Thai man said brightly and led them to a small table in the corner.
After they settled with menus in hand, Lilly gave Mitch an amused smile.
"Like I said, I come here often," Mitch said with a sheepish grin.
"So, what's good?" Lilly asked as she opened the menu and began looking at the left side.
"Everything, but my favorite is the Pad Thai and Som Tam and of course, mango sticky rice," Mitch said while she licked her lips playfully.
"You always did go for the sweet stuff," Lilly said with a chuckle.
They ordered a few dishes, including all the ones Mitch suggested and ate in relative silence. This was the longest amount of time they'd spent together since they'd been a couple and it was bringing back all kinds of feelings that Mitch had been working hard for years to shelve.
She looked up to see a sad, pensive expression on Lilly's face and she set down her beer, all thought of her own issues fading away for the moment.
"Lilly, what is it?"
"I spoke with May's doctors yesterday. I felt like she wasn't telling me the whole story. Her kidneys are failing, and doctors say she isn't eligible for a transplant with how she tolerated her foot amputation surgery and how poorly she follows treatment protocols," Lilly said with a stuttering breath. Mitch could tell she was trying to hold it together.
"Shit. That's why she's in assisted living and not just having home care, isn't it?”
"Yes, she has to have dialysis daily now," Lilly said as she picked up her napkin and began dabbing at her eyes. Mitch knew how she hated to be seen crying and flagged down their waiter.
"Tanat, can we have the check please?"
He brought it back within a minute and Mitch took bills out of her wallet to cover the meal and a generous tip.
"Come on, let's go to my truck," Mitch said as she stood. Lilly nodded and slipped out of her chair and followed Mitch out of the restaurant and out into the crisp late winter evening air.
Mitch opened the door for her and watched her climb inside. Once she got around to her side, she heard Lilly curse as she rummaged through her purse. Mitch grabbed a small packet of tissues from her center console and handed them over.
"Thanks," Lilly mumbled as she ripped one from the pack and wiped her eyes. Mitch could tell how uncomfortable and embarrassed Lilly was at the show of emotion. She'd always been one to try and hide how she felt. It was something Mitch knew her father engrained in her before he left her and her mother.
"Hey, it's okay. It's just me," Mitch said as she rested her hand on Lilly's knee, giving it a squeeze. It felt strange and yet very familiar saying those words, but Mitch meant them. No matter what had happened and how much time had passed, the memory of what they'd once been to each other couldn't be erased.
Lilly sniffled a few times and looked up, all traces of tears and snot gone, her red rimmed eyes the only sign of how upset she'd just been.
"Thank you," Lilly said, giving Mitch a watery smile. "I’m just trying to process it all, you know? I've been gone so long and..."
"Hey, you know she doesn't begrudge you moving and living your life, she never has.” Not like I did, Mitch thought ruefully.
Lilly looked up at her and for a moment she looked so lost. It broke Mitch’s heart. Lilly’s eyes dropped back down, and she sniffled.
"I know, but I'm really the only close family she has left, and I didn't come to visit as often as I should have," Lilly said.
Mitch wondered if she’d stayed away because of her, but she knew she wouldn’t ask. She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer anyway.
“She’s willing the bar to me, Mitch.”
Mitch nodded, guessing that was the case.
Lilly pinned her with a questioning look. "Did you already know she was going to do that?"
"No, but I figured she would when the time came. She wants to keep it in the family. She's made no secret of that and can you imagine your cousins Kurt or Millie being able to run it?" Mitch asked around a knowing smile, trying to ease the tense atmosphere.
Lilly shook her head and gave her a faint smile before her expression turned sad again. "I don't want to even think about it, Mitch.”