I propped my bike against a tree and moved into the forest. I heard voices then saw Dad . . . holding a woman. They kissed and laughed. Her hands moved to the button on his shorts; his moved to the buttons on her cut-off shirt.
My chest pounded as I watched them undress each other, giggling like kids. His back was to me when she kneeled down in front of him. He groaned. “Think we should get into the tent.” He gasped.
“Why do we have to hide? No one’s looking.”
He groaned some more. “Gibbs! Please. The tent.” He panted.
She stood and licked his ear. “But you’re so close.”
“So is the tent.”
My arms squeezed my body as it shook. I almost ran back to my bike and screamed, “Dad, where are you?”
In one version of the story, I did. He yelled back then a minute later came out of the trees, claiming he’d had to pee. No tent. No Gibbs. Just a quick hike back to Mom, both of us talking about the weather and how hungry we were.
But I didn’t. I watched them crawl into the tent then listened as they screwed each other. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I walked up to the tent, kicked the sides, and started screaming.
* * *
“Laney?” Mom calls from the bed. “You drifted off somewhere.”
“Yeah. Just thinking about what happened that day.” It had been a long time since I’d thought about the real event, without changes or happier endings.
Something gnaws at the back of my mind.
Mom leans forward, holding her glass in both hands. “You’re going to have a hard time reestablishing a relationship with your father if you can’t stop reliving the past. You have to move on, Delaney.”
I turn around with a jerk and move my fingers over my keyboard. I search for July Fourth, Original Version, find it then scroll through the first two pages. Something is missing. Something I’d just seen in my head.
After riding through the loops, I saw the bike trail through the woods and decided to take a look. I followed the trail until I saw the camouflaged tent off to the left.
No mention of the boy. Or the crash.
Where is the boy on the bike?
I check version two and three. No boy with curly hair and freckles. No staring at my crotch.
Where did he come from? How could I have forgotten him?
5
I’m staring at my computer, my elbows propping my head over my desk, when I notice Mom’s hand place a slip of paper next to me.
“Here’s his phone number. Remember his time is three hours earlier than ours. When do you plan to call him?”
I keep staring at my computer screen.
“What’s wrong, Delaney?” Mom holds my shoulders.
I lean back in my chair and let my arms flop to my side as bile rises in my chest. “When you said I knew the rest of the story, scenes from that day played in my head. But this time I saw another person before I found Dad and Gibbs.” I turn to see her bite her lip. “I’ve never written about this person before, not in any version of the story. He just appeared. What’s with that?”
Mom wrings her hands. “I don’t know what you mean.”
I rub my face. “This has happened all day, and I don’t understand why.” I suddenly sit up. “The boy asked me something, and I said no, which means—assuming he was real—that in one universe I said yes.” I snap my face toward hers. “But why would he not exist in all of my versions? Why did he just pop into existence? Can that happen?”
Mom’s looking at me the same way she did before sending me to Dr. Feelings. She rubs my shoulder as her lip trembles. “Can what happen?”
“Can something pop into existence? Just appear?”
She tries to smile. “The universe did. The state of nothing doesn’t exist. There’s always the potential for something.”
I jump up. “Why is everything so complicated?”
“I’m sorry, Delaney. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about choices and universes splitting.”
I turn around, running my hands through my hair, and watch her lift the folded newspaper from my chair. I must have been sitting on it.
She holds the paper closer. “When did this happen?” She points at the headline I’ve circled.
“The bones were discovered last Thursday.”
She reads through part of the article and shakes her head. “So sad.”
“I bet they were abducted in the woods.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because that’s what happens to girls all the time.”
Mom’s face blanches. I don’t know why I snapped at her. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just tense.”
“Why did you save this article?”
“You know, that’s the funny thing. I don’t know. It seems important.”
Mom stares at me, puzzled. “Why does this story bother you so much?”
“Because they found the remains near where I found Dad and Gibbs. The girls probably died three years ago.”
Mom’s face sags. I can tell she’s worried. Hell, I’m worried. If I keep freaking her out, she’ll never let me see Dad. I’ll definitely spend the holidays in a hospital. So I need to diffuse this. Now.
I chuckle and stand. “I’m probably not getting enough sleep.”
She reaches for my hands. “Delaney, are you using drugs?”
She looks old, worn, and beaten. I grasp her to me. “No, Mom. I promise. No drugs or alcohol. I swear.”
She hugs me back. “Please don’t. I couldn’t stand it.”
“I know.” Mom’s brother died of an overdose in his teens. She’s told me his story many times and made me swear to never use. And I haven’t. “I’m not sure why but what happened that day with Dad is haunting me. My mind is racing around in circles, thinking crazy things. I need to see him and sort it out. Maybe if we can talk and forgive each other, I can leave that day behind.”
I try to smile. “I know I’ve been freaking you out lately. I don’t want to, especially when you’re so happy about Fermilab.”
“When would you go?”
“Over the holidays would be a good time because I have a break.” I take a breath and let it out slowly. How will she react about this next part? “And maybe January, if he’ll have me.”
“Did something happen between you and Khannan?” Her eyes do their back and forth dance as she looks at me.
Shit! Did he say something? I feel like I’m at the summit on the roller coaster, ready to crash down. “Why do you ask?”
“He was excited about all of us going to Chicago, but when I told him about working through January and him having to stay home with you, his mood changed.”
Bet I know why. How would either of us explain this afternoon? “So what happened was I was looking for the ropes I had seen on the kitchen chair at lunch and found them in your sex toy drawer where I borrowed one of your vibrators. Khannan caught me so everything’s weird between us. Not to mention the hooker he may or may not have hired or the possible close-to-incest going on between me and Eddie.” Yeah, that would go well. Maybe in another universe.