And doesn’t plan on asking, either. Because if Hawk decides that weight isn’t heavy enough to keep him here, then Sam loses her best friend. The boy who carries a jar of sap because she’s so prone to tripping over. The boy who explains to her why the person she was talking to just frowned. The boy who’s listened to every fact Sam has ever read and never looked like he wanted to run.
He’s the spine of her book. The keystone species of her ecosystem. The balance in the chaos of information and questions and ideas and theories and dreams her mind juggles.
Sam waits for his response. This is their rhythm—she asks, he considers. She loves it. There’s a sense of anticipation as she waits to see what Hawk will say, knowing each word is weighed and considered. But as she waits, his eyes soften, seeming to be searching for something in hers.
She pulls back, confused. It’s a look she’s never noticed before. Hawk straightens, facing the front again, dropping her hand like he hadn’t realized he’d been holding it. Sam glances over her shoulder at Mercy, hoping she might understand what just happened, but she’s chewing her lip like she has a spare if this one gets too mangled.
The line starts to move, and Sam knows she should forget whatever that look was. But her mother’s always said if you give Sam a puzzle, she won’t let it go until it’s solved. And Hawk’s expression is new…and doesn’t have a clear explanation. As she walks up the steps, Sam knows she just needs to apply the standard inquiry process.
Analyze. Propose a hypothesis. Confirm or disprove said hypothesis.
As she takes her place on the stage, Sam’s struck by the obvious answer. It’s their Announcement. Maybe his look was pride. Maybe Hawk’s decided he wants to stay now that they’re so close to being leaders and he was about to tell her. Maybe he’s thinking of his parents—one who’s what they used to call Unbound, the other from the Outlands—and how they would feel to see their son standing tall in the leadership line.
Probably a mix of all of the above. Her Hawk is a deep thinker. And today is a big day.
A heavy hush falls over the crowd, full of the weight of this moment and Sam straightens, glad she’s solved the mystery. The leaders stand as a group on the other side of the stage, over thirty of them now. It’s odd to think that when her parents went through their Proving, only ten had the privilege of ruling Askala. Now, anyone can try as many times as they want, and stay for as long as they like.
The thought of failing and having to repeat her Proving has Sam’s cheeks flushing. She doubts she’d be able to look anyone in the eye for the entirety of that twelve months. She’s worked too hard for this.
She was born for this.
Jagger steps forward, his broad shoulders held back stiffly. Sam’s never seen him speak at an Announcement, but it makes sense that her parents or Dex or Wren aren’t, considering their daughters are in this year’s Proving. Fairness is a foundation of Askala.
Jagger clears his throat. “Welcome everyone, to another Proving. Another week of tests as we find the smartest and kindest to lead us all. Thank you to the passionate people who put their hand up to take Askala into the future.”
There’s a round of applause and Sam wishes she could grip Hawk’s hand again, maybe turn to Mercy so they could do their little dance—the one where Mercy actually moves with rhythm and pretends Sam does, too. Instead, Sam subtly straightens, lifting her chin. All she’s ever wanted is to make her parents proud, which means honoring this moment.
Jagger moves to the center of the stage, turning to face the people of Askala. “I remember my own Proving, only a year after I arrived in Askala. As an Outlander, as one of Ronan’s men, no less, I didn’t hold high hopes for myself. But I’d become part of something bigger than just me, and I wanted a chance to show my allegiance. Passing, and becoming part of the hive that makes the decisions for Askala and Earth has been a privilege.”
A privilege several more are about to become part of.
Sam has to stop herself from bouncing on her toes. This is it! This is the moment!
Jagger scans the line of people who underwent the tests. “Although only a few have passed, we thank each one of you for your passion and dedication. Whether we’re a leader or not, each of us plays a vital part in our future and that of Mother Earth.”
There are a few smiles in the crowd, and although Sam knows what Jagger’s saying is true, not being a leader would feel like a failure to her. She’d be letting her father and mother down, every ancestor who led before her. Every scrap of knowledge she’s absorbed would be wasted.
“So, without further ado, I’d like to welcome Askala’s four new leaders. As I call your name out, please come and join our team.”
Jagger steps back, and Sam finds herself holding her breath.
“Gust.”
There’s a round of applause as the boy a few years older than Sam pumps his fist into the air. She keeps her gaze forward. They’re obviously going in alphabetical order.
“Hawk.”
His mother’s cry of joy pierces the air as Hawk moves to join Askala’s leaders, while his hoard of little sisters swing each other around. Hawk doesn’t smile, doesn’t frown, but Sam can see the tension tight between his shoulder blades. It seems fate has decided where Hawk belongs.
Right beside Sam.
“Mercy.”
There’s the tiniest squeal that Mercy quickly silences. Her hand brushes Sam’s as she walks past, her eyes twinkling with joy. She joins her parents, throwing her arms around them.
Sam waits, for the first time fear slicing through her. Only four people have passed. Three have already crossed over to the only life she’s ever wanted. She’s never seriously entertained the possibility that she could fail. She doesn’t even know what that life would look like.
“And number four,” Jagger calls out. “Sam.”
The final round of applause is the loudest. The sound of celebration lifts Sam’s heart to the sky, soaring just like she knew it would. Her gaze flies to her father’s. She’s passed. As of now, she’ll be working by his side, making Askala great. He’s never said it, but he’s wanted this just as much as she has.
There’s the slightest nod, quiet pride shining from his eyes, but that’s it. As she walks toward him, Sam tries not to frown. The moment her name was called out looked different in her dreams. Her father would be smiling, her mother wrapping her arms around her as she tried to stem the tears. There would be pats on the back, murmured words that they never doubted she’d be joining them.
But as she slips between them, her mother grips her hand so tight it almost hurts. Her father wraps an arm around her shoulder and squeezes. They’re happy to have her here, but they’re…somber. It doesn’t make sense.
Jagger lifts his hands and the clapping dies away. “Our new leaders have joined us during an auspicious year.” He turns to look at Sam’s father. “Kian, I believe you have an announcement.”
Sam freezes. This is unexpected.
She looks around, trying to figure out what’s going on. Hawk is watching Sam’s father as he walks to the center of the stage. He’s as taken aback as Sam is.
Beside her, Mercy’s mother draws her closer, whispering in her ear. “Remember what we told you.”