Disappointed, Gilda moved to look out the window into the courtyard. “I thought you were happy with my work here. I love teaching the children.”
Ermguerrd came up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders to turn her around. “I’ve been most happy with your teaching. But you have other gifts as well. I think it’s too soon for you to make a decision. Many of the women who take holy orders have lived in the secular world. Some have even been married. From what you have told me, I believe you need more experience in order to know you are making the right choice.”
Gilda pondered her words. It was common knowledge that Ermguerrd had been married and borne two children. When her husband and children died of a fever, she’d entered the convent. Gilda had heard that she had served happily for many years before being named abbess. She believed Ermguerrd was the wisest woman she’d ever known.
“You look concerned, Gilda. What’s bothering you?”
“It’s that kiss. Maybe if it happens again, I won’t have the same feelings. Maybe I was reacting to the christening. Do you think that’s possible?”
Ermguerrd paused before replying, taking time to choose her words carefully. “I suspect it’s something you are destined to find out. I know you like to be in control, Gilda. But sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. I will send Freda along as your companion.”
“Freda? Is she the best person to send?” Gilda was reluctant to point out that Sister Freda seemed rather old to be of much help.
“Don’t be fooled by her age or fierce manner. Sister Freda is most rigorous, and I think you will find her a useful companion.”
When Justin was called to rejoin the abbess and Gilda, he was startled to hear that Gilda would be accompanying him to Mainz. He tried to hide his surprise from the abbess, especially when he saw that her eyes were studying him in a new way. Before he could figure out what that meant, he was introduced to Sister Freda, a nun twice Gilda’s size and perhaps three times her age.
“Sister Freda will accompany Gilda. As I’m sure you know, Lord Justin, nuns always travel in pairs to ensure their safety,” the abbess said.
Justin suspected she was referring not only to assuring their physical safety but also to safeguarding their reputation. The deep lines on Sister Freda’s face attested to her age, but her posture was upright and her eyes penetrating. Justin judged she would be a reliable chaperone.
Later, following Gilda along the garden path to the chapel for vespers, Justin finally had a chance to speak to her alone. “I thought you’d convince the abbess not to send you with me. I’m sure you tried. What did you tell her?” he asked, remembering how Abbess Ermguerrd studied him.
“I told her about the kiss,” Gilda said, not bothering to lower her voice.
His shock made her smile, but her expression quickly sobered when he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a small alcove in the garden. “Are you mad?” he asked, barely controlling his anger. “If you told her that, why is the abbess allowing you to go with me?”
Shaking off his hand, Gilda replied, “She thinks I need more experience in the secular world before I take my final vows.”
“And I’m the one who’s supposed to give you experience.”
“Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with you. I told her about the kiss because I wanted her to know why I hesitated to accept the king’s assignment. That’s what we do here. We’re honest with each other.”
He ignored the implication that it wasn’t true of his calling. “What kind of nun are you? You should be saying prayers and helping the poor. Instead you’re at court, dressed in a low-cut gown. Or getting involved in arguing the very personal details of a marriage dispute before the bishop.” He kept his voice low but didn’t try to hide his anger.
When Justin saw that Gilda was staring at him, her mouth hanging open, he couldn’t believe his own lack of control. He was a diplomat with a reputation for keeping his temper and being careful with his words. It was not a good sign that Gilda was able to make him lose control. He pulled her down to sit beside him on a bench.
“You caught me off guard,” he said, as calmly as he could manage. “I can’t believe you told the abbess I kissed you. You told her that, and she’s still letting you go with me?”
“Yes. You don’t have to worry about your reputation. I explained that the kiss was my fault.”
He watched her face flush to a becoming shade of pink. “It was your fault? What makes you think that?” he asked.
“You knew I was curious. Otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Gilda. I have an urge to repeat the kiss so that you’d remember it more clearly. You better think about that. Then persuade the abbess to send someone else. Otherwise you are taking a chance that I might lose control of myself.”
He narrowed his eyes and tried his best to intimidate her with his frown, but she only shrugged her shoulders and said, “You’re making that up to frighten me off.”
“No, I’m not. You should be frightened. Right now, there are nuns everywhere.” He looked around. “And we are just outside the chapel. That won’t be the case on the road to Mainz.”
“Sister Freda will be along,” she answered, but he suspected she was beginning to lose her confidence.
Before Justin could reply, Freda appeared before them. Gilda grinned, clearly satisfied that her sudden appearance was a sign of her vigilance. But Freda’s words made it clear she wasn’t searching for them to protect Gilda. “Lady Mariel has disappeared. There was much chatter about the arrival of Lord Justin. One of the sisters thinks that Mariel may be frightened, perhaps believing he has come to carry her back to her husband.”
Already on his feet, Justin addressed Freda. “Do you have any idea where she could have gone?”
“Ermguerrd thought Gilda might know.”
“I doubt Mariel has explored much of the convent on her own,” Gilda said. “But I took her to the herb garden just yesterday. She seemed interested in the place. Asked a lot of questions.” She turned to Justin. “There is a small shed where we hang herbs to dry. I’ll see if she’s there.”
“I’ll go with you,” Justin said. “Sister Freda, why don’t you tell the abbess where we’re headed.”
Gilda shook her head. “Perhaps I should go on my own. Mariel might be afraid if she sees you, Justin.”
“I know enough to stay back until you’ve talked to her. If she’s as desperate as she seems, it’s best that we put her at ease. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can leave for Mainz. We need to interview her to learn why she refuses to return to her husband. I’m sure you are as eager as I am to complete this assignment.”
Gilda didn’t argue with that and agreed to his company. The herb garden was located at the edge of the convent’s property, and it was getting dark by the time they approached the shed. They had traveled by foot so as not to alarm Mariel. Gilda was relieved to see a light in the building.
“It must be Mariel. All the nuns and visitors are at chapel. You stay here until I signal you to come,” Gilda told Justin.
But as Gilda approached the shed, she felt uneasy. Mariel had asked her whether there were any poisons in the many jars stored in the shed. Although Gilda had been reluctant to give detailed information, she had warned her about certain herbs. She pushed the door open and her heart stopped. Mariel was stretched out on a pallet surrounded by candles. Gilda quickly knelt beside the young woman and was relieved to discover she was breathing. Gently she shook Mariel’s shoulder, but although her eyes opened for a second, they quickly closed again. Gilda picked up a container resting beside the sleeping woman.